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nocturnalAh she finally hit wanting to have a baby mode.
Sno.lawls. nah--this thread stems from the "post college rant" thread where the discussion was started.
californiagrownIsnt there a lower risk of developmental issues with the fetus for women in the "prime years"?
californiagrownDad 29 Mom 28 when i was born. My sister is two years older. I think it was the perfect age- it allowed them to still be super active in my sister and I's life, and have energy to do all the athletic and outdoor stuff while still both working full time jobs. Isnt there a lower risk of developmental issues with the fetus for women in the "prime years"?
the other issue, is that both my parents will be able to be active and do cool shit with their grandkids, and and be able to enjoy their retirement and marriage without the financial burden of kids for a good long while even during the best paying period of their careers.
Chubz.Mom was 32 and dad was 30, im the baby of the family, i have a sister thats 2 years older than me, and a brother thats 15 years older than me. (Different dad)
Looking back...they had kids at the right time i think. It really sucks seeing them get older though. I dont like seeing my dad with grey hair and not having the energy he had when I was younger but such is life.
Hopefully they live a long life so they can be a big part of my kids lives bc my parents are fucking awesome.
Sno.Did your mom have an established job/career when she had kids, or did she wait until after? Did she take time off? Just curious.
cornholioas a side note, i feel i will also be a parent that has children late in life. partially because we (i) pushed off marriage for so long and other unforeseen complications get in the way
Sno.same question about your mom as above-- she work? if so--did she take a break to have you or your siblings?
MinggMy mom was 23 when she had my sister and 24 when she had my brother. (both are half siblings). Then she was 35 when she had me. Then I have a half brother on my dads side who is also 23 and I think my dad was 22.
I am the youngest. My sister is 33, My brothers are both 31, and I am 19. It's kind of a huge gap. I was definitely an oops baby but things turned out alright I suppose.
Sno.lawls. nah--this thread stems from the "post college rant" thread where the discussion was started.
Sno.Did your mom have an established job/career when she had kids, or did she wait until after? Did she take time off? Just curious.
Sno.same question about your mom as above-- she work? if so--did she take a break to have you or your siblings?
Fred_BearCurious my ass. Youre wanting to pop out a little snobunny asap
Fred_BearCurious my ass. Youre wanting to pop out a little snobunny asap
Sno.If I could wait 10 more years, I would. I don't feel ready. You know when you're 23-24 and you think...Imma have kids at about 30...well then 30 comes before you know it and you're like FUUUUCCCKKK NO...maybe 32 or 33...then you turn 32 and still feel 23 and its like..well shit...we're getting slim on time here.
In the other thread, kids were making it sound like after 32 was too old to have kids-- I was pretty sure that a ton of people wait until after 32 so wanted to make this thread to see--looks like 32-35 is the majority.
Every year I say to my relatives and friends that ask "maybe next year?"...This has been going on for 5 years.
CaptainObvious.At what point will my relatives and family actually believe I'm not having kids. My wife and I are both very much "no kids". Ever. and everyone is like "You'll change your mind".
Sno.Yeah-- the nagging and pressure is ridiculous. On my parents side, no one says anything--ever. We're just free to make our own decisions. On my in-law side, it is constant nagging. I mentioned that we may not want kids or may want to adopt, and my MIL almost died.
Sno.Yeah-- the nagging and pressure is ridiculous. On my parents side, no one says anything--ever. We're just free to make our own decisions. On my in-law side, it is constant nagging. I mentioned that we may not want kids or may want to adopt, and my MIL almost died.
Sno.The worst are the comments that insinuate there is something wrong with you..."do you not have the normal, womanly & motherly urges?"
Or "when I was your age, nothing was going to stop me from having kids...I guess you just have different priorities, and being a mother isn't one of them."
Like choosing to wait and not have kids right away has ALREADY made me a mother who puts my kids as a low priority in my life. lawl. I'm already a shitty mother.
cornholiothe inlaws only make jokes about how they got a dog because we haven't given them grandchildren yet. none of this "what is wrong with you why don't you have babies" stuff
Tingaa mistake at 30 with my older sister
Sno.The worst are the comments that insinuate there is something wrong with you..."do you not have the normal, womanly & motherly urges?"
Or "when I was your age, nothing was going to stop me from having kids...I guess you just have different priorities, and being a mother isn't one of them."
Like choosing to wait and not have kids right away has ALREADY made me a mother who puts my kids as a low priority in my life. lawl. I'm already a shitty mother.
californiagrownsaskskier
At the end of the day, people will or won't have kids on their own timeline and they don't owe anyone an explanation.
Here's a pretty insensitive, but philosophically interesting question IMO: why are folks okay with older women trying to get pregnant, but horrified when an already pregnant 28 year old has a few glasses of wine, or smokes a few cigs? Both are voluntarily increasing the risk for birth defects about the same amount. Does it matter so much that it's the mother vs nature directly causing the increased risk? e
Does it matter that the increased risk in both instances are the mothers choice?
californiagrownDad 29 Mom 28 when i was born. My sister is two years older. I think it was the perfect age- it allowed them to still be super active in my sister and I's life, and have energy to do all the athletic and outdoor stuff while still both working full time jobs. Isnt there a lower risk of developmental issues with the fetus for women in the "prime years"?
the other issue, is that both my parents will be able to be active and do cool shit with their grandkids, and and be able to enjoy their retirement and marriage without the financial burden of kids for a good long while even during the best paying period of their careers.
saskskierThat's an interesting question. I don't know much about the risks and potential fallout of getting pregnancy later in life, but I do know that FASD is pretty much the worst and is completely preventable.
I think one of the biggest issues is availability of support IF there are complications. For example, if you have a baby later in life and they have downs syndrome, it's generally pretty self-evident and there are all kinds of supports and resources available to help those parents. If your kid with Downs acts up in the grocery store, people tend to be understanding and compassionate. Same with schools.
Only about 7% of kids born with FASD have any kind of physical markers so when behavioural or learning issues come up, people tend to assume these kids are just bad or have a learning disability rather than a legit, developmental disability. There are fewer supports and resources for kids and parents with FASD than with other disabilities.If they same situation comes up at the grocery store with an FASD kid, judgement is cast on a parent who can't control their bad kid. Same with schools.
I don't think it's fair to say someone who is older is completely irresponsible to have a baby later in life. There are any number of circumstances that could lead to that situation.
It is absolutely irresponsible to drink during pregnancy.
californiagrownI agree it is irresponsible to drink, smoke, etc during pregnancy. Is it not just as irresponsible to voluntarily wait till later in life to have kids?
As for involuntarily waiting to have kids till later, I assume you think having children is a right, not a privilege? Not from a governmental perspective, but from a "game of life" perspective.
safarisamMy mom was 31 when she had me, 33 with my brother and 36 with my little sister- almost 37.
