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Anybody suck at public speaking?

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AidanCski
Posts: 420 - Karma: 860
This is a relatively stupid thread but whatever I'm just gonna rant. So today I had a debate in history on the American revolution and I had to give my part of the argument which lasted for about 4 minutes. The first half of the speech I did fine but then everything went to shit. Halfway through my part it just got progressively worse and worse, I could hardly pronounce words, you could hear my voice literally tremble, I was shaking, and my heart was beating out of my chest. Anyways this is something that I've had to deal with my entire life, and it just sucks cause everybody knows I suck at it, and it's something that I know I'm gonna have to do as an adult. People always ask me why I'm not afraid to do flips on skis, but look like I'm gonna die when I speak in front of just 10 people, and I never have an answer for them. Sorry to be a little bitch on NS, just wondering if anybody has the same anxiety about speaking publicly, or if any older members had any advice for me?
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Oct 6 2015 7:20PM
7 2
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selfiejesus
Posts: 345 - Karma: 1,813
i hate public speaking. I'm in debate, and when i publicly speak, my face turns so red and i forget to breathe.
Oct 6 2015 7:29PM
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stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
I feel pretty comfortable speaking publicly but sometimes my voice will just fade out on a word here and there. Lately ive been drinking water before speeches and it seems to help
Oct 6 2015 7:33PM
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270on420out
Posts: 7514 - Karma: 51,161
Parents made me do forensics when I was in middle school. Never had any problems after that.
Oct 6 2015 7:35PM
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OregonDead
Posts: 6925 - Karma: 24,825
stupendous-manLately ive been drinking water before speeches and it seems to help


Nice to have water with me too so I can pause and take a drink and collect myself. Practice is really the only way to get better at it. I have to talk to big groups of strangers and classes full of students for my job and it always makes me nervous even though I've done it for years. Everyone has an issue with this to some extent so know that people understand why you are nervous.
Oct 6 2015 7:48PM
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Furrer92
Posts: 784 - Karma: 341
Definitely used too hate it more but I've found the better grasp you have on what your talking about the easier it is. As someone else said just lots of practice. Having water on hand is a good one too because if you find yourself speeding up you can just take a breath, have a drink, then continue.
Oct 7 2015 2:49AM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
Practice, practice, practice

Literally one of my least favorite parts about life..but you get used to it
Oct 7 2015 2:53AM
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*DUMBCAN*
Posts: 2447 - Karma: 5,628
I have a love/hate relationship with public speaking.

On the one hand, I'm scared shitless by it. On the other, the rush you get from nailing a speech or presentation in front of 100 people is awesome and lasts for ages.

It all comes down to confidence, both in yourself and your material. I can't bullshit, so if I don't know something when someone asks me a question then I just freeze up, so I need to have a rock solid understanding of what I'm talking about.
Oct 7 2015 4:01AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51745 - Karma: 163,536
AidanCskiThis is a relatively stupid thread but whatever I'm just gonna rant. So today I had a debate in history on the American revolution and I had to give my part of the argument which lasted for about 4 minutes. The first half of the speech I did fine but then everything went to shit. Halfway through my part it just got progressively worse and worse, I could hardly pronounce words, you could hear my voice literally tremble, I was shaking, and my heart was beating out of my chest. Anyways this is something that I've had to deal with my entire life, and it just sucks cause everybody knows I suck at it, and it's something that I know I'm gonna have to do as an adult. People always ask me why I'm not afraid to do flips on skis, but look like I'm gonna die when I speak in front of just 10 people, and I never have an answer for them. Sorry to be a little bitch on NS, just wondering if anybody has the same anxiety about speaking publicly, or if any older members had any advice for me?


I hear ya man. Hang in there and do the best you can. I would actually try to put yourself in more of those situations if you can. Maybe reward yourself with little things if you succeed. The best thing to do is exposure. I didn't really no anything about exposure therapy or psychology, but I just kind of did it piece by piece on my own to try and make myself more normal.

I had problems speaking to people and a lot of other stuff. Really bad anxiety. I was terrified even getting up and walking down a hallway. Walking into a gas station to buy something. Anything and everything you can be terrified of. I'm terrified of heights, all kinds of stuff.

I know everybody has things they aren't down with, I'm not everyone so I don't know the severity but this was fairly crippling to me.

Anyway I started forcing myself to strike up conversations with strangers. Even just small talk/bullshit. Things like that. The things that I was terrified of I just kept doing. Sometimes that made me extremely uncomfortable but over time my anxiety of those things got much better. I still have anxiety, I still have all kinds of crazy fears, but I'm in a lot better shape and able to cope with them.

I'm not sure if your situation is just larger groups or what. If it's people in general try what I did just talking to strangers. Or if it's groups find situations that make you anxious and do it. You might be shaking, about to piss your pants or faint, but if you survive, you'll have that relief and confidence boost for next time. You can keep pushing it a bit until you're working on a level very high, so even if that scares the fuck out of you still, at the level that originally terrified you, it's no big deal.


For public speaking that might be more difficult as you can't just gather people to listen all the time but maybe you can find things. Answering questions in class, read something at an open mic night, anything you can think of.

Idk, I have no professional training but that's why my advice is free and on the internet. It might not apply to you, or you might think it's stupid, but that's what worked for me.

Either way good luck man.
Oct 7 2015 4:26AM
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TOAST.
Posts: 7511 - Karma: 36,436
I hate public speaking and just talking to strangers in general, but the only way to get better at it is practice.
I got a job as a zipline guide which meant I had to give safety speaches and stuff daily. I also had to spend 3 hours with a group of 8 people I have never met. If I would stay silent that entire time the guests would be bored and have a terrible time. So over the summers that I worked that job speaking publicly and small talk got a lot easier for me. I still get super nervous if I'm not 100% confident on the material, but not as much as I used to.
Oct 7 2015 5:24AM
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onenerdykid
Posts: 6674 - Karma: 10,977
When I was in high school, I used to hate public speaking. When I was forced to present, I used to get so nervous and mumble my words, and I would just rush through it and it would totally suck.

Now I honestly love presenting and public speaking. I used to absolutely fear giving a 10 minute presentation but now I regularly give 5+ hour presentations (without reading from notes) and I enjoy it. How did I make that transition?

First off, you have to stop being self-conscious and stop worrying about what other people are thinking. This is the largest and hardest hurdle you have to overcome. You are there to present your portion/paper and you need to focus on doing exactly that. If you lose that focus, you will start to worry about what other people are thinking about you and you will start to rush/mumble/fuck it up. So, always try to stay on target and do not worry about what anyone else is doing or might be thinking.

Secondly stay calm, and focus on each sentence at a time. Do not think of the entire presentation at once, it will only freak you out. Take it in steps, and that means focus on clearly pronouncing each word in the sentence. The sentence will naturally happen, so there is no need to rush it. This last part helped me a ton because I couldn't even read aloud in front of people. I would just rush it and it would all turn to shit. Once I made an effort to slow down and focus on clearly pronouncing each word, the sentences would naturally come together on their own.

In preparing for a presentation, I would always make an outline- the basic steps I would proceed in. This would help train my mind with the basics I would cover. The more you can commit to memory and have it feel like a natural response is ideal. Then you won't be trying to force it, but it will just happen.

If you ever want to talk about more details or what to practice, feel free to PM me. I am more than happy to help you out.
Oct 7 2015 6:09AM
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,179
In high school I dreaded public speaking. I was never incredibly bad at it but my heart was always beating up in my throat.

In college I think it's easier just because people have grown up and matured a lot more from high school...at least some people. I've been doing short presentations around three times per week this semester and I've found that the more you present the easier it gets.

Don't sweat it OP, everyone is in the same boat as you.
Oct 7 2015 9:30AM
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Mingg
Posts: 13992 - Karma: 49,651
Oh public speaking. I took a class on it in High School where we gave speeches about various topics throughout the semester. First one was fucking awful and I basically had a panic attack in the middle of it and stopped short. Just couldn't finish it.

Next speech was about skiing and how finding a sport for the winter is more beneficial than sitting around. I was hardly nervous. I knew what I was talking about, I cared about it, and I genuinely believed in what I was saying.

So for me, it was all a confidence thing. If I approached it knowing what I was talking about and it was something I really believed in, it was as easy as talking to a friend. It's always going to be a little bit intimidating talking in front of new people but if you know your topic its a lot easier!
Oct 7 2015 10:43AM
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connecticunt
Posts: 847 - Karma: 1,536
I can sit at a table in meetings and talk in front of people like no ones business. If im standing with at least one other person in front of a group then I'm still pretty good. But as soon as I'm standing and by myself, I'm the biggest public speaking train wreck there is and it's the worst. My voice gets all pitchy and I talk too fast. I also get fidgety, once I accidentally picked a scab on my arm while pitching an idea to one of the deans at my college and I bled all over the place (really bad bleeding disorder) and I fainted while walking out of the room. Like I said, total train wreck.
Oct 7 2015 11:01AM
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YoungGun.
Posts: 267 - Karma: 562
I'm taking a required speech class this year and it is killer. At least two 2 minute speeches per student each week. Getting way better at it though.
Oct 7 2015 11:21AM
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FastSpeed
Posts: 646 - Karma: 644
*DUMBCAN*I have a love/hate relationship with public speaking.

On the one hand, I'm scared shitless by it. On the other, the rush you get from nailing a speech or presentation in front of 100 people is awesome and lasts for ages.

It all comes down to confidence, both in yourself and your material. I can't bullshit, so if I don't know something when someone asks me a question then I just freeze up, so I need to have a rock solid understanding of what I'm talking about.


this is true, confidence is key
Oct 7 2015 11:23AM
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JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
For someone who hates most social interactions that don't involve people are already know I have to say I really enjoy public speaking.
Oct 7 2015 11:23AM
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crotchvent
Posts: 1527 - Karma: 2,184
I find it really helpful to practice multiple times in front of a group of good friends.
Oct 7 2015 11:34AM
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Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,663
Ive had to talk and preform in front of hundreds of people in hs for musicals and shit..that stuff doesnt bother me that much. I could probably MC an event and be totally fine with it but doing a presentation or a speech just ruins me. Fuck that shit I cant do that at all.
Oct 7 2015 12:51PM
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PoLaRpEaK
Posts: 439 - Karma: 555
EVERYONE hates public speaking to start out with!!!!! I remember the most terrifying moments of grade school and university were having to present to the class / anyone.

It just takes PRACTICE and experience to get comfortable in front of an audience.

I used to tremble and stutter and talk as fast as humanly possible when I first started presenting in front of people. I was a god awful public speaker.

Now presentations are a big part of how I make my living, I often present twice a week to 30+ people. I've done numerous presentations to 100+ or even 200+ people.

It took years and hundreds of presentations before I was comfortable at the podium. Like any skill it takes practice to get better.

One HUGE piece of advice I got was have a breather slide every so often, maybe just a title, or an image that you can talk about easily while you focus on gathering your thoughts and getting your breath back. If you don't have slides, then have a fact, or a statement you know well that you can regurgitate an an appropriate time while you gather your thoughts. TALK SLOW and with conviction. Speak like you ARE THE AUTHORITY on the subject. It is all about confidence. If you know the material well, you will feel more confident.

Typically if you are giving a presentation it is because YOU KNOW the material and THEY DO NOT KNOW the material. This is important. Whatever you say, say it with confidence, and people will believe you.

I now feel confident enough to put together a presentation and stand in front of hundreds of people without even practicing it, because I have key points of information on the slides that will jog my memory, and that I can fall back on. I put LITTLE to NO text on slides. TEXT on slides should be used extremely sparingly.

Hope this helps.

Remember, breath, talk slow, and with conviction. Take a pause if you need to. Stop speaking for 10 seconds and take a big breath, gather your thoughts, have a sip of water. This is way better than rambling and stuttering away.
Oct 7 2015 1:10PM
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PoLaRpEaK
Posts: 439 - Karma: 555
I see everyone has already covered what I said. Tons of great advice in this thread.

I knew I sucked at public speaking so I sought out courses and opportunities to practice.

I've now done probably 500+ presentations and I still get nervous before I go up to the podium, but once I am up there I get into that zen mode where it all starts flowing and you feel good.

Then when you are done you are super stoked about giving a good presentation. It's a nice high.
Oct 7 2015 1:15PM
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SammyDubz
Posts: 2168 - Karma: 7,222
Lots of good advice in this thread. Like others said, it takes a lot of practice to get good, and just like everything else in the world, some are born with it, some not.

That being said, if you have a Model UN or debate club at your school, join that. I was in your same situation in the beginning of HS, but with practice, Model UN, and a lot of (maybe fake?) confidence, I consider myself to be pretty good at it now. idk
Oct 7 2015 5:41PM
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Vino
Posts: 2939 - Karma: 1,115
Everytime I see these type of threads I post the same link.

My story : Got into the biggest Business Case competition in Qc two years ago, where you had to present your solution for 20 minutes. The improvement we had during our practices was phenomal, we ended up 2nd during the contest.

This really helped us:

https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/786369/Your-Body-Language-Shapes-Who-You-Are---Amy-Cuddy---TED-Talks
Oct 7 2015 5:54PM
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Titus69
Posts: 9329 - Karma: 17,816
I'm awful, I can hardly read out of a textbook in class without feeling like everyone's counting on me to say it all right. In debates I hardly talk because usually I'm nervous to. Its especially hard considering everyone at school is extremely judgemental. I have a few things this year I know of that require public speaking and I am just nervous thinking about it.
Oct 7 2015 6:03PM
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Turd.Ferguson
Posts: 1437 - Karma: 2,713
Chubz.Ive had to talk and preform in front of hundreds of people in hs for musicals and shit..that stuff doesnt bother me that much. I could probably MC an event and be totally fine with it but doing a presentation or a speech just ruins me. Fuck that shit I cant do that at all.


chubz with the purp name


niiiceeeeeee
Oct 7 2015 6:20PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
Different strokes for different folks. I had a guy in my senior design class who was a pro mx racer and he physically could not stand in front of the class and speak. On the otherhand, I'd show up 30 mins before the presentations, have my group prep me and then do our 15 minute presentations.

I get nervous beforehand, sure. What helps me is to act cocky. Play a character that literally swaggers, and is super confident. After a30 seconds I'm into the presentation and its a great feeling to command a room's attention.

Play a character, a politician likely. It's a helluva lot easier if you've run through the presentation more than a few times beforehand too.
Oct 7 2015 6:30PM
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gnar_whal
Posts: 1286 - Karma: 3,788
I also hate it. I'm taking a required speech class this year but I'm finding that it gets easier every time I do it. Thats really the key. Knowing your stuff and repetition.
Oct 7 2015 7:51PM
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Rusticles
Posts: 2180 - Karma: 1,337
already been said, but forget the self consciousness, don't think about people judging you, relax and be yourself. I like to think of it as I'm talking to a bunch of my friends about a serious topic.
Oct 7 2015 9:52PM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4814 - Karma: -704
Rusticlesalready been said, but forget the self consciousness, don't think about people judging you, relax and be yourself. I like to think of it as I'm talking to a bunch of my friends about a serious topic.


This advice + start signing in front of people to get comfortable. If you can sing with others watching you can talk.


Just start humming a rando song while walkin or chillen somewhere with a bunch of people and then bust out some of the lines. Go to a karaoke night. After that speaking will be a piece of pie.
Oct 7 2015 10:13PM
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Victor8ST
Posts: 29 - Karma: 19
Personally, what helped me was taking a Public Speaking college course. Had to do it for my CCAF, and I found a nearby college that was experimenting with a full semester class completed in 5 weeks. It was high-stress and there was homework/speeches due every single day (It was the full course, just compressed into a smaller timeframe).
Now, I'm an introvert and not a fan of speaking to people in general, more or less in a public setting. But the class was small, so we got to know each other pretty well, which helped to make me feel more confident. Also, we got to pick the topic of our speeches, to an extent, so I could talk about things that interested me.
By the end of the course, I learned to take my nervous feelings and channel them into a sort of excited energy. Sort of like a runner's high. Or in my case, a similar effect of an adrenaline junkie. Now I get excited to be in front of others instead of scared. I still need my re-charge time afterward, but in the moment, I feel alive!
May 21 2020 4:49PM
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little1337
Posts: 8261 - Karma: 48,269
I feel like I'm better at speaking to bigger crowds than small ones. It makes it feel like there are so many people there that I don't care what each individual thinks but when it's a smaller group I tend to focus on one person or something and psych myself out
May 21 2020 5:19PM
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vibecheck
Posts: 3112 - Karma: 15,188
I just start doing random motions with my hands looking like naruto acting like I'm mute works every time
May 21 2020 5:49PM
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CalumSKI
Posts: 4164 - Karma: 23,616
ArtyomI just start doing random motions with my hands looking like naruto acting like I'm mute works every time

Nice
May 21 2020 6:14PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37542 - Karma: 121,673
Its hard for me to address a room and keep it personal and commanding idk, I do better with groups or one-on-one with people or kids. Especially coaching.
May 21 2020 6:31PM
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JAHBRADOR
Posts: 3035 - Karma: 17,259
I go up there and immediately assert by dominance by wearing sunglasses indoors.

**This post was edited on May 21st 2020 at 7:00:27pm
May 21 2020 6:59PM
0 0
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TOAST.
Posts: 7511 - Karma: 36,436
TOAST.I hate public speaking and just talking to strangers in general, but the only way to get better at it is practice.
I got a job as a zipline guide which meant I had to give safety speaches and stuff daily. I also had to spend 3 hours with a group of 8 people I have never met. If I would stay silent that entire time the guests would be bored and have a terrible time. So over the summers that I worked that job speaking publicly and small talk got a lot easier for me. I still get super nervous if I'm not 100% confident on the material, but not as much as I used to.


Glad I had that job, but my public speaking still isnt the best, super monotone. Everytime I present something to a customer and they just listen and dont ask questions it feels super awkward. Upside is meetings that sometimes last 2 hours only last 20 minutes.
May 21 2020 7:08PM
1 0
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little1337
Posts: 8261 - Karma: 48,269
TOAST.Glad I had that job, but my public speaking still isnt the best, super monotone. Everytime I present something to a customer and they just listen and dont ask questions it feels super awkward. Upside is meetings that sometimes last 2 hours only last 20 minutes.


There are some things in life you can get by with being moderately okay at and I feel like public speaking is one of them
May 21 2020 7:30PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13110 - Karma: 18,939
JAHBRADORI go up there and immediately assert by dominance by wearing sunglasses indoors.

**This post was edited on May 21st 2020 at 7:00:27pm

Dont forget the rail of coke too. Since your rocking the blades indoors

I love public speaking. Never had any trouble with it... Its weird because Im actually kind of shy guy and dislike gatherings like bars.
May 22 2020 12:21PM
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JAHBRADOR
Posts: 3035 - Karma: 17,259
freestyler540I love public speaking. Never had any trouble with it... Its weird because Im actually kind of shy guy and dislike gatherings like bars.


Lol me too.

We are a rare breed but the true alphas.
May 22 2020 1:34PM
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