Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Best Threats

profile picture
shred-sesh
Posts: 64 - Karma: 210
I'm not a violent person but I do like to make threats.


I'll pour a full jar of maple syrup all over your underwear drawer, so you'll have sticky buns for the next month.
POLL
Edit Poll
Votes:

Take care when editing a poll; Options should be similar to maintain vote integrity.

More options will be added automatically as you type. You must supply a question and at least two options. No HTML is allowed.

Jun 4 2015 1:57PM
112 29
profile picture
Mingg
Posts: 13992 - Karma: 49,651
I'm gonna put mayo in your snowboard boots and laugh at you walking funny. HA skier revenge.
Jun 4 2015 1:59PM
2 2
profile picture
SupremeDeity
Posts: 695 - Karma: 1,112
I'll kill your dog
Jun 4 2015 2:06PM
12 2
profile picture
cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
method man.intro
Jun 4 2015 2:21PM
11 0
profile picture
CaptainObvious.
Posts: 5712 - Karma: 20,638
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Jun 4 2015 2:25PM
22 1
profile picture
Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,663
Ill do absolutely nothing to you and wish you a great rest of your day.





Suck on that bitches
Jun 4 2015 2:39PM
1 10
profile picture
Spagett+
Posts: 3499 - Karma: 14,884
cornholiomethod man.intro


Good call


I'll fucking tie you to a fucking bedpost
with your ass cheeks spread out and shit
Right?
Put a hanger on a fucking stove and let that shit sit there
for like a half hour
Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like
Tssssssss

Yeah, I'll fucking
Yeah I'll fucking lay your nuts on a fucking dresser
Just your nuts laying on a fucking dresser
And bang them shits with a spiked fucking bat
Oh
What's up? BLOW!

I'll fucking
I'll fucking pull your fucking tongue out your fucking mouth
and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver, BLOW!
I'll fucking

I'll fucking
I'll fucking hang you by your fucking dick
off a fucking twelve sto-story building out this motherfucker

I'll fucking
I'll fucking
sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you
and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you
Jun 4 2015 2:41PM
8 0
profile picture
*Nickdel*
Posts: 2264 - Karma: 956
Spagett+I'll fucking
I'll fucking
sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you
and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you


Easily the best threat.
Jun 4 2015 2:51PM
1 1
profile picture
270on420out
Posts: 7514 - Karma: 51,160
There was this quiet kid in my class and he got picked on by this one really annoying kid. And the one day this kid like went to go flick the quiet kid's ear or something like that. The quiet kid grabbed his hand, looked into his soul, and said "If you flick my ear again, I will poop on your butthole". He's hailed as a king now.
Jun 4 2015 3:50PM
21 0
profile picture
Laurent.
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 25,313
OP, this is how you make a threat:

https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/765124/Taken-Phone-Speech--HD-
Jun 4 2015 3:57PM
2 1
profile picture
Mingg
Posts: 13992 - Karma: 49,651
shred-seshI'll pour a full jar of maple syrup all over your underwear drawer, so you'll have sticky buns for the next month.


Worth noting she has done this to me before. Don't mess with shred-sesh. She's an animal.
Jun 4 2015 4:02PM
3 2
profile picture
byubound
Posts: 1636 - Karma: 9,870
I'll jam a toothpick under your toenail and make you kick a wall.
Jun 4 2015 5:21PM
6 0
profile picture
SteezOnSkis12
Posts: 907 - Karma: 1,446
I will tell ur mom
Jun 4 2015 5:39PM
6 0
profile picture
Steezy_IN_KC
Posts: 2033 - Karma: 1,607
You better shut up or I'll tongue punch your fart box!
#ButtStuff
Jun 4 2015 5:42PM
1 0
profile picture
shin-bang
Posts: 4100 - Karma: 6,997
You have 10 seconds to get off my property before I pump your guts full of lead.... 1 .... 2.... TEN! Gratatatatatatattata
Jun 4 2015 6:08PM
2 4
profile picture
shred-sesh
Posts: 64 - Karma: 210
cddlswthsqrrlsWorth noting she has done this to me before. Don't mess with shred-sesh. She's an animal.


hahaha don't fuq with me :)
Jun 4 2015 10:09PM
1 1
profile picture
erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,329
i will jerk you the fuck off

can't believe method man missed that one!
Jun 4 2015 11:10PM
2 0
profile picture
GayWolf420
Posts: 37540 - Karma: 121,592
Anything that involves children and blowing up schools is a good one imo.
Jun 5 2015 9:34AM
0 1
profile picture
stinky_cheese
Posts: 1221 - Karma: 5,173
I'll drink a gallon of water and then pee in ur butt
Jun 5 2015 1:41PM
1 0
profile picture
Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,299
well i don't take kindly to them.

https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/769368/Denzel-Curry---Threatz--Feat--Yung-Simmie--amp--Robb-Bank---Prod--Ronny-J
Jun 6 2015 10:35AM
0 0
profile picture
CashmereCat
Posts: 2211 - Karma: 2,394
You're gonna look pretty funny trying to eat corn on the cob with no fucking teeth.
Jun 6 2015 9:13PM
0 0
profile picture
EvanWalz
Posts: 273 - Karma: 347
1) I'll burn your house down
2) I'll keep your dog
3) I'll pee in your bowl of breakfast cereal
Jun 6 2015 9:17PM
0 0
profile picture
Miomo
Posts: 4302 - Karma: 14,133
If you touch my bike, I'll fuck your dog.
Jun 6 2015 9:53PM
1 0
profile picture
daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
Denzel curry wouldn't take kindly to this thread.
Jun 6 2015 9:55PM
1 0
profile picture
Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,299
dane_wizwillardDenzel curry wouldn't take kindly to this thread.


I can think of 275 reasons he would not be taking kindly to this at all.
Jun 6 2015 10:04PM
0 0
profile picture
JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
"You have three seconds, exactly three fucking seconds, to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyes and skull-fuck you!!!

-R. Lee Ermey
Jun 6 2015 10:04PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)