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theabortionator
May, 2025

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Someone Leaving Stuff on my Porch

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CousinEddie
Posts: 633 - Karma: 215
Around two weeks ago someone left a smurf figurine next to my front door in the middle of the night. I thought it was kind of creepy. Now I came home late tonight and there was candy scattered in front of the door. It was lifesavers and something else. Have you guys heard of anything like this?
10 years ago
154 7
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Nikolaus
Posts: 863 - Karma: 1,000
U dead
10 years ago
15 0
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Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,673
Yeah this is actually the plot of a serial killer back in the early 90s that they never caught. Next step in his plan is hiding under your bed and killing you in your sleep.




Run away OP, run far, far away
10 years ago
22 0
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dingus
Posts: 1328 - Karma: 7,879
Chubz.Yeah this is actually the plot of a serial killer back in the early 90s that they never caught. Next step in his plan is hiding under your bed and killing you in your sleep.




Run away OP, run far, far away


Actually I'm gonna change it up this time, I'm gonna ring the door bell and when he opens it I'll shoot him in the eye with a dildo cannon
10 years ago
19 0
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ThundaKilla
Posts: 2864 - Karma: 3,791
Its Boo Radley
10 years ago
50 1
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byubound
Posts: 1636 - Karma: 9,873
Yeah OP you're either screwing with us or you're done, maybe install some security cameras so they might be abie to catch who killed you
10 years ago
7 0
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shin-bang
Posts: 4106 - Karma: 7,037
Are you like in college or high school? I feel like it's just some stupid prank. But if you're older like you have your own home and family, I would catch the next flight out to bangalidesh and run far away in the jungle
10 years ago
8 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 52609 - Karma: 174,419
In junior high we got a new school and they decided we didn't need locks on our lockers because they were fucking idiots. Anyway these girls would open my locker and leave notes all the time. Sometimes they left candy and drinks so it wasn't all bad. Kind of weird though but whatever. I guess technically you could always leave a note through the slits on the front but there would be things taped to the inside door or some candy, cookies, drinks.

Attracted some weird people like that in highschool but nobody ever left me food that I remember. By junior year I was free.
10 years ago
0 0
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isaacwrong
Posts: 2441 - Karma: 19,511
Must be the UPS woman

10 years ago
8 1
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CousinEddie
Posts: 633 - Karma: 215
Now they put a note in my mailbox that said "I love you baby from Samantha White". I have no clue who that is. What the hell is this?
10 years ago
1 0
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shin-bang
Posts: 4106 - Karma: 7,037
LilNucksNow they put a note in my mailbox that said "I love you baby from Samantha White". I have no clue who that is. What the hell is this?


Just take a bunch of shots of red bull and camp out on your front porch with a shotgun and then youll evebrutally catch them. That's what us hill billies do
10 years ago
2 4
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Mr.softcookie
Posts: 233 - Karma: 713
If i where you i would set up security cameras around your house and monitor them like this

http://www.dispatch.com/content/graphics/2013/01/29/never-alone-art-g18ldtdc-1never-alone2-jpg.jpg
10 years ago
0 0
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loomis
Posts: 945 - Karma: 176
ThundaKillaIts Boo Radley


I seriously don't think I've ever laughed so hard on NS
10 years ago
8 0
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daOyster
Posts: 329 - Karma: 298
Mr.softcookieIf i where you i would set up security cameras around your house and monitor them like this

http://www.dispatch.com/content/graphics/2013/01/29/never-alone-art-g18ldtdc-1never-alone2-jpg.jpg


I wouldn't be able to live in a house with that many cameras and monitors. I'd smoke and then my minor paranoia would kick in leaving me glued to the screens.
10 years ago
0 0
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CousinEddie
Posts: 633 - Karma: 215
I suppose I should post am update since the ending of the story is pretty good.

One night I heard foot steps out in the street so I ripped open the blinds and then relaxed because I thought it was just some woman walking on the other side of the street. At that moment though, the person turned directly towards my house, and I saw it was actually a man. He stepped on my lawn, leaned in and said "I hope you have a good night baby" in a voice that sounded like Michael Jackson in the later years of his life. I called the cops then and told them the whole story but they didn't look for him that night.

A few nights later I came home late with some friends and as we drove around the corner we saw him sitting under a street light staring at my house. I called 911 this time, and the cops showed up and asked him to leave. The cops knew who we was. Apparently he cross dresses and lives in some kind of group home but is harmless. He hasn't been back since that night.
10 years ago
5 0
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hishighnesss
Posts: 149 - Karma: -50
I have been shitting on your porch for the last month
10 years ago
0 1
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
Don't worry, he'll be back
10 years ago
0 0
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
Don't worry, he'll be back
10 years ago
0 0
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the.hellion.
Posts: 861 - Karma: 698
that's fucking terrifying.


I mean, I guess he's harmless, but if that were me, I'd be packed up and moved outta there right quick.
10 years ago
0 0
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veng_m
Posts: 1267 - Karma: 2,720
ah porchmonkeys
10 years ago
0 0
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.frenchy
Posts: 18231 - Karma: 12,399
veng_mah porchmonkeys


lol
10 years ago
0 0
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
Sounds like the hash slinging slasher
10 years ago
0 0
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shin-bang
Posts: 4106 - Karma: 7,037
LilNucksI suppose I should post am update since the ending of the story is pretty good.

One night I heard foot steps out in the street so I ripped open the blinds and then relaxed because I thought it was just some woman walking on the other side of the street. At that moment though, the person turned directly towards my house, and I saw it was actually a man. He stepped on my lawn, leaned in and said "I hope you have a good night baby" in a voice that sounded like Michael Jackson in the later years of his life. I called the cops then and told them the whole story but they didn't look for him that night.

A few nights later I came home late with some friends and as we drove around the corner we saw him sitting under a street light staring at my house. I called 911 this time, and the cops showed up and asked him to leave. The cops knew who we was. Apparently he cross dresses and lives in some kind of group home but is harmless. He hasn't been back since that night.

Thank you for the update op. Funny ending +k
10 years ago
0 0
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Sky.
Posts: 1158 - Karma: 287
shin-bangJust take a bunch of shots of red bull and camp out on your front porch with a shotgun and then youll evebrutally catch them. That's what us hill billies do

Red Bull is for pussys, meth all Damn day
10 years ago
0 0
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