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Best way to pass a piss test? (without clean pee)

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hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
What is the best way people have successfully passed a piss test for jobs and court without having clean pee? Real experiences only...
Mar 13 2015 3:08AM
388 107
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boppin
Posts: 111 - Karma: 308
Never failed a piss test, the trick is actually really simple. Just stop smoking weed. Works every time.
Mar 13 2015 3:13AM
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hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
realistic answers only
Mar 13 2015 3:15AM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,364
ColeLaCrackrealistic answers only


i normally give whoever collects the pee a blowjob
Mar 13 2015 3:18AM
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,175
ColeLaCrackrealistic answers only


It's not realistic for you to quit smoking weed for a piss test?

Lol, have fun failing it then
Mar 13 2015 3:25AM
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cobra_commander
Posts: 16909 - Karma: 4,686
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Step up and claim your winnings like a man.
Mar 13 2015 3:26AM
17 1
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hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
The test is tomorrow that is why I put the (without clean pee) part in the title and all of these responses do not answer my question asked above. I am aware the best option would to be to stop smoking but I am in a situation.
Mar 13 2015 3:33AM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
Your fucked, the only way to flush out your system is to be constantly drinking water. and if it's within 24 hours by the time you drink enough water to clean out your system there would be able to tell your pee is too much water and not enough actual pee.
Mar 13 2015 6:45AM
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dustygoldflakes
Posts: 484 - Karma: 700
My friend had some luck with this one detox product. But frankly, those are expensive and require a few hours of notice.
Mar 13 2015 7:29AM
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Mr.noodle
Posts: 1361 - Karma: 4,651
Just shoot heroin, it gets out of your much quicker
Mar 13 2015 8:58AM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,484
You need an oil change
Mar 13 2015 9:01AM
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Dobber
Posts: 1698 - Karma: 9,834
Drink a fuck ton of water so you fill up too many piss cups for them to handle and you flood the place. Everybody dies. The end.
Mar 13 2015 9:05AM
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-benedetto
Posts: 5238 - Karma: 1,359
This topic has been covered multiple times here and all over the internet. Better off searching else where. Good luck.
Mar 13 2015 9:26AM
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Sky.
Posts: 1158 - Karma: 287
Buy fake pee? I've had great success 5+ times. Pretty much every head shop sells it
Mar 13 2015 9:57AM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,297
Get clean pee from a friend. Really the only way. There is not a chance in hell, no matter what method you take, that you are going to get the large amounts of thc out of your system in a day. Physically impossible with tripping one of the failsafes on the test. Coming from a kid whose passed 3 and failed 1.
Mar 13 2015 11:22AM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13083 - Karma: 18,720
Here is the scientific way to pass the test:

Know your test. Most tests are strip tests. It does not require you be naked, but it is like a pH test strip for your pool. It works by 2 chemicals; the first is your control. Your organic proteins will bind to the strip and turn it red. The second is your detection. The metabolites will bind to this one and cause a reaction that will cancel out the color change, Hence, one bar; your screwed. If metabolites are not present; the second strip will change color. Its a way to prevent false positives. However they do have a threshold limit; 5ug/ml to 50ug/ml.

So obviously, the less metabolites you excrete, the better. THC is stored in the fat. It is released by the body naturally ditching the cell or by burning it off. As fat layers, it has a higher capacity of storing THC. So body mass and metabolism speed and amount consumed are your variables.

Time is everything; the more time is spent not smoking before the test, the higher the success possibility. You can help yourself by shedding a layer of fat, then create a new one that permeates the contaminated one. It takes time, so dont do this if you are in a hurry. Work out hard and burnt fat, then just eat fatty food and dont do shit. It will lower your concentration in the blood.

Next is dilution. This one is hard. Remember the control strip I was talking about? This one too plays a role in detecting someone is trying to fool the test by adding water to the bladder. By experience, it works, but keep in mind your variables. If you have excess water in the urine, you will not have sufficient proteins to bond to the strip.

Last is how you take the test. Urine salts are more concentrated at the beginning, then lowers. At the end of the piss, salts rise again. Take your test in the mid process, it would be the better chance.

Good luck
Mar 13 2015 11:24AM
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,185
I'll sell you some of my piss. Can guarantee you, it won't come up positive for weed. Although other drugs not so much
Mar 13 2015 12:24PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,662
at this point your best bet is to pull a blake from workaholics and take as many drugs as possible before your test so when everything shows up they'll assume the tester fucked up

https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/761373/workaholics-drug-test-results
Mar 13 2015 12:32PM
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Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128
pure cranberry juice(not the cocktail, or cranberry juice that has a ton of sugar in it.) drink a ton of it. can pass within 3 days of not smoking. Be prepared to spend most of those three days in the bathroom. Another option is one of those urine masking kits, but they're usually about $20 or so.
Mar 13 2015 1:17PM
1 0
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DanielPlainview
Posts: 391 - Karma: 1,707
my friend had someone with clean piss pee in a condom and tie it up. when he went to take the test he just pulled it out like it was his dick and poked a hole in the tip with a tack and it worked, he still works there.
Mar 13 2015 2:39PM
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PM4FreeJiberish
Posts: 447 - Karma: 3,533
Just do an oil change
Mar 13 2015 2:41PM
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fresh_prince
Posts: 993 - Karma: 11,910
ColeLaCrackThe test is tomorrow that is why I put the (without clean pee) part in the title and all of these responses do not answer my question asked above. I am aware the best option would to be to stop smoking but I am in a situation.


this is bullshit, you probably don't even smoke weed
Mar 13 2015 3:17PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
Drink bleach
Mar 13 2015 4:15PM
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hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
fresh_princethis is bullshit, you probably don't even smoke weed


That's what the lady collecting my piss thought today too
Mar 13 2015 4:17PM
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hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
If anyone wants to know know to pass for future reference all you have to do is find someone with clean piss and have them pee in a travel shampoo bottle. Next Step get some big elastics and secure it to le gooch, then put on compression shorts to keep it at a temp between 90-100.

It's piss not rocket science..definitely way easier than a lot you thought
Mar 13 2015 4:35PM
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hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
Granite_StateGet clean pee from a friend. Really the only way. There is not a chance in hell, no matter what method you take, that you are going to get the large amounts of thc out of your system in a day. Physically impossible with tripping one of the failsafes on the test. Coming from a kid whose passed 3 and failed 1.


.
Mar 13 2015 4:38PM
2 2
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plyswthsqrrls
Posts: 838 - Karma: 2,271
St.josephmy friend had someone with clean piss pee in a condom and tie it up. when he went to take the test he just pulled it out like it was his dick and poked a hole in the tip with a tack and it worked, he still works there.


your friend is a fucking genius
Mar 13 2015 6:03PM
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Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,352
your only options:

1. clean pee from a friend in a ballon/condom/bag. you likely aren't getting a test that will temp it (provided it's for a low level job or something; didn't read the thread) so you should be alright if it's semi close to body temp.

2. drink a shit ton of water and botch the results. they will call you in for a retest within a couple of days so then resort to option 1.
Mar 13 2015 6:35PM
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Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128
Big_Spence2. drink a shit ton of water and botch the results. they will call you in for a retest within a couple of days so then resort to option 1.


Remember to catch mid stream if you can. I've had to do some tests where they actually put plastic wrap on the bowl so you can't pee into it. Another thing you can do(original reason for quoting this) is Dilute it with warm water.
Mar 13 2015 6:52PM
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mtbakerpow
Posts: 1105 - Karma: 927
get a green card...
Mar 13 2015 7:31PM
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Chubbs.
Posts: 1018 - Karma: 2,647
talk to these guys
Mar 14 2015 6:43PM
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Squirrel_Murphy
Posts: 2195 - Karma: 1,165
Need to pass a piss test?

Well Urine Luck.
Mar 14 2015 7:40PM
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HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,676
Squirrel_MurphyNeed to pass a piss test?

Well Urine Luck.


lol
Op is screwed. Have fun in jail, stoner
Mar 14 2015 8:30PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51630 - Karma: 162,077
Drink yoir own piss. The second round of filtration cleanses out any traces of thc.
Mar 14 2015 9:04PM
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steezy_doge
Posts: 781 - Karma: 1,718
.Hugo.You need an oil change


i came here to say that haha i love blue mountain state such a hilarious series.
Mar 14 2015 10:35PM
0 0
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,484
steezy_dogei came here to say that haha i love blue mountain state such a hilarious series.


Whats that? Ive never heard of it
Mar 14 2015 10:40PM
0 1
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steezy_doge
Posts: 781 - Karma: 1,718
.Hugo.Whats that? Ive never heard of it


if your not trolling...


its a T.V show its on netflix, its about a college football team and there is an episode where they have to do an oil change to pass a urine test.
Mar 14 2015 11:01PM
0 1
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,484
steezy_dogeif your not trolling...


its a T.V show its on netflix, its about a college football team and there is an episode where they have to do an oil change to pass a urine test.


nope never heard of it. i just thought it made sense
Mar 14 2015 11:08PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51630 - Karma: 162,077
Blue mountain state looks pretty dumb. Never saw it though. Just judging books by covers
Mar 14 2015 11:37PM
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steezy_doge
Posts: 781 - Karma: 1,718
theabortionatorBlue mountain state looks pretty dumb. Never saw it though. Just judging books by covers


It's extremeley dumb, that's what makes it funny.
Mar 14 2015 11:57PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51630 - Karma: 162,077
steezy_dogeIt's extremeley dumb, that's what makes it funny.


I could get down with that
Mar 15 2015 12:06AM
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finnajon5
Posts: 583 - Karma: 51
oil change via.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcvs4n_blue-mountain-state-oil-change-by-t_fun
Mar 18 2015 8:16PM
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-emile-
Posts: 6613 - Karma: 8,592
UglyboyI'll sell you some of my piss. Can guarantee you, it won't come up positive for weed. Although other drugs not so much


dude you take hard drugs ??? you're soooo cool !
Mar 18 2015 9:21PM
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white.powder
Posts: 187 - Karma: 777
drink a shit load of water
Mar 19 2015 10:03AM
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corona
Posts: 12795 - Karma: 32,749
poop in the cup. it's drug free and they won't be able to tell the difference
Mar 19 2015 10:30AM
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JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
Mar 19 2015 10:52AM
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elcornholio
Posts: 797 - Karma: 1,557
So... Did you pass?
Jun 15 2015 6:59PM
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*DELETED*
Posts: 1043 - Karma: 938
Pee packet at a head shop.

Has anyone personally or know anyone that has had luck with detox drinks they sell for around $20?
Jun 16 2015 12:40AM
0 0
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brett_fisher
Posts: 2417 - Karma: 10,494
ColeLaCrackrealistic answers only


Get some piss from a homie and before you go in and just spit it in the cup...
Jun 16 2015 12:42AM
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shin-bang
Posts: 4100 - Karma: 6,997
brett_fisherGet some piss from a homie and before you go in and just spit it in the cup...


yea just have like a small container/jar of it in your pocket, then boom pour it in once you "use the restroom"
Jun 16 2015 1:39AM
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brett_fisher
Posts: 2417 - Karma: 10,494
shin-bangyea just have like a small container/jar of it in your pocket, then boom pour it in once you "use the restroom"


or that :|
Jun 16 2015 1:41AM
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