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Quick Thoughts on my Short Film?

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Forcillo
Posts: 3801 - Karma: 3,580
What's up everybody, so this past fall I produced a short that I'm really stoked on. It was my first legitimate effort in narrative and I really like how it turned out. If you guys could give me some insight on what you liked/disliked and ways I could improve, I would be very appreciative.

https://vimeo.com/119591175
Mar 10 2015 11:15PM
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SKI.ING
Posts: 2695 - Karma: 2,535
I just really liked your colors man. The images were really rich and filled out. Nice job on correcting or filming, whichever it was.
Mar 11 2015 12:57AM
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-AM-
Posts: 162 - Karma: 116
WOW that was amazing, especially for a first attempt (mine was so much worse than that). Absolutely loved the car and outside shots. Editing was really solid. Two things I noticed: bed scenes at the beginning looked a bit amateur-ish compared to the rest of the film, and the intro was a bit long (you could cut a lot out and still get the message).
Mar 11 2015 11:58AM
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HarkStudios
Posts: 243 - Karma: 121
The only thing i would do, is try to get cleaner audio, when you edit it, go into the sound settings and sweeten it, the sound is rough and feels awko taco... (in my opinion)
Mar 11 2015 12:17PM
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Forcillo
Posts: 3801 - Karma: 3,580
EDolloStoneThe only thing i would do, is try to get cleaner audio, when you edit it, go into the sound settings and sweeten it, the sound is rough and feels awko taco... (in my opinion)


How do you mean exactly? I know there's a hum in the back of the shop scenes because of the refrigerator in there. Is that what you we're saying?
Mar 11 2015 1:31PM
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HarkStudios
Posts: 243 - Karma: 121
ForcilloHow do you mean exactly? I know there's a hum in the back of the shop scenes because of the refrigerator in there. Is that what you we're saying?


I just rewatched it in a quiet setting and wow, much better! sorry about that, it must have been the background noise...

I think that just little tweaks, lowering the background noise a little bit, making it slightly quieter, and removing the buzz would make it better in the future,

VERY NICE, i really liked it.
Mar 11 2015 4:50PM
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Forcillo
Posts: 3801 - Karma: 3,580
Bump, thanks for the feedback so far guys
Mar 13 2015 2:03PM
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AtticusFinch
Posts: 12 - Karma: 48
Looks great, loving the colors and shots that are built in, I think the "douchebag" charachter was a littl unrealistic, seemed a little forced but that could just be the acting, and trust me i've done worse acting haha, otherwise love the shots, colors are fantastic, everything is crisp and clean. The short little flashbacks are done extremely well, they can be hard to do but you killed it! Keep it up.
Mar 13 2015 2:25PM
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jibcrew1
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 522
Something I noticed is there is a lot of unneeded insert shots, like it's good to keep in mind that every-time you cut in you're telling the audience to look at this this is important so when he sit's down three dollars is it important to the story or do we just keep going, so if you get the point ya. Other than that this is way ahead of what other people do their first time out but just watching all of the videos you can find to learn something helps.
Mar 13 2015 11:17PM
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Forcillo
Posts: 3801 - Karma: 3,580
jibcrew1Something I noticed is there is a lot of unneeded insert shots, like it's good to keep in mind that every-time you cut in you're telling the audience to look at this this is important so when he sit's down three dollars is it important to the story or do we just keep going, so if you get the point ya. Other than that this is way ahead of what other people do their first time out but just watching all of the videos you can find to learn something helps.


Yeah I noticed this while editing, I eventually did it anyway because it looked better than just leaving the wide shot for too long, it just dragged and I didn't want it to be like that since the pacing at that part was slow enough as it was. It was a shooting error more than anything. Thanks for the feedback man
Mar 14 2015 6:26PM
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spencer.herder
Posts: 5 - Karma: 13
really liked the overall idea, but I agree with an earlier response that said that the d-bag character was a bit forced, though thats out of your control. some beautiful shots, but the bed scenes could have better lighting, ut was just rather harsh and didnt flow with the gorgeous natural light in the rest of the film. Other than that, colors were great, the flashbacks were short and to the point, and I actually liked the sound, though it couldve been better in a few shots. Keep it up!
Mar 14 2015 10:46PM
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