Is the world telling me something, or am I going balls.

So I've had a pretty wild last few years trying to do what most people on here think they're gonna do for a living, which is ski.

I come from a pretty humble family line meaning that we are not in a position to be spending thousands of dollars on skiing, but I feel like I need to do that to get where I want to be. In grade 9 all my friends started competing in the north american junior tour (IFSA Tour), and naturally I really wanted to as well. Travel to tons of different ski resorts, meet skiers from all over NA and have the potential to make a name for myself as a young age, but money really limited me. I had a local shop sponsor at the time so gear was cheap and some was free but still wanted to ride on the freeride team and compete which is around $3000+ a year for someone with no backers, and that includes about 4-5 comps + lift tickets, stay, travel & food. So, I got a job, worked my ass off all summer and signed up for a few in grade 10, planning to pay all the ways, at my first stop I blew my knee. Still could walk/slide so I filmed my friends for the remainder of the weekend.


So now I was back in the same boat, need to make money to compete/travel, but now I had to get gym passes, pay for physio and get myself a knee brace (which is $1600). So I did, I'm still living at home, in high school, I got nothing else I absolutely need money for. Now this is my grade 11 season, 2nd to last season I can compete on the junior tour. I managed to compete at 5 competitions that season and almost bailed in all of them but 2. One was the first comp and got rebate with a top 10 finish, and another I scored a top spot. I think this was mainly because I worked so hard on strengthening my knee but didn't realize that the rest of my body is going to have to be extra strong to make up for it. Got lucky and a certain someone got me plane tickets to and from nationals which I wouldn't have been able to go if it weren't for him, and so very unluckily one week before departure I blew my other knee. Tickets were non refundable nor transferable. Now I didn't only waste my money but other peoples too, damn.

Now this is where I am now, last summer I racked up quite a few sponsors which has helped me out a lot! Especially a physio sponsor which saved my ass last year with hooking me up at cost with the knee brace and again this year plus a deal off service. This time my surgery only took 2 months thanks to doctors notes from sponsors + workplace + coaches. I was smarter and was in the gym about 5 times a week this summer, working on my entire body, legs, core all the stuff you need for skiing. Anyways, knee was in good shape, I was in good shape, skiing better than ever, had all my comps paid for and ready to go, boom, fell off a small cliff when I was going pretty fast onto a cat track and snapped my tibia, clean break and that is all.. I hope. Same leg as my recently injured knee, so fingers crossed, have had no pain yet but haven't been putting any weight on it yet for nearly 8 weeks now.

As you can imagine I'm going pretty insane, I've been working so damn hard for these last three years and have been delt nothing but pain, mentally I feel pretty unstable. I finished high school a symester in advance so I can focus on my skiing but unfortunately all I've been able to focus on is how sick of skiing, crutches, the cast on my leg I am, and many more things.

Im not looking on life advice or what I should do, I am not going to be taking advice from anyone, just want to know everyones opinion. Is the world telling me something or am I going nuts.