34 Reasons Why Patriots Fans Are The Worst
Worst fans in football since 1776.
posted on Jan. 21, 2015, at 11:30 a.m.

Matt Stopera
BuzzFeed Staff

Dave Stopera
BuzzFeed Staff
1. “Wicked” is not a cool word. No one should say it.

chowdaheadz.com
2. All they can talk about how 14 degrees is “warm.”
3. We get it. You grew up where it was cold.
4. We get it. The leaves change colors.
5. Weather humblebrags about snow are dumb. Snow is only exciting for two to three hours after it falls.
6. Lip tattoos aren’t cool.

Bleacher Report@BleacherReport Follow
Pats fans show off tattoos, including “Belichick yourself before you wreck yourself” arm tat
http://t.co/VljHwMAG2E
8:52 PM - 16 Jan 15
7. They refer to Boston as “The City.”
8. Plymouth Rock is barely a rock. Might as well call it “I’m Disappointing, Even for a Surprisingly Small Rock” Rock.

en.wikipedia.org
9. Stop fooling yourself: Apple picking isn’t really fun. BEES.

Wikipedia Commons
10. I burned my tongue on Dunkin’ Donuts coffee last week.
11. Tom Brady wears Uggs.

Uggs
12. And he’s scared of water slides.

Splash
13. And his ponytail…

AP
14. The Crucible was just an OK book.
15. And let’s be honest: pretty fucked up to kill a bunch of women like that.

Getty Images
16. Also the bars close early there.
17. They go camping, kayaking, and hiking like every day and won’t stop clogging your feed with ‘grams of it.
18. Everything is haunted.
19. It’s not a frappe; it’s a MILKSHAKE.
20. Skull tattoos aren’t cool. You think skeletons are cool, Patriots fans?

Isaiah L. Carter@IsaiahLCarter Follow
Well, what do you expect from Pats fans?? RT @NFL_Memes: What were they thinking?
http://t.co/ctR87G0yOO
3:36 PM - 13 May 14
21. The pilgrims were racist as hell.
22. And Christmas is better than Thanksgiving, anyway.
23. Why would anyone in their right mind waste all that tea? Not really my idea of a tea “party,” to be honest. Just seems wasteful.

24. Their chowder is like drinking an actual bowl of cream with clams in it.

Thinkstock
25. Plus, the letters E and R in conjunction are sacred and should be respected. It’s “chowder,” not “chowdah.”

reddit.com
26. Also clam chowder isn’t healthy. You think eschewing proper eating habits is cool, Patriots fans?
27. Paul Revere was a snitch.
28. L.L. Bean is overpriced and for moms. You think backpack initials are cool, Patriots fans?

llbean.com
29. Dane Cook.
30. Candlepin bowling is not an officially recognized NCAA sport.
31. Calvin Coolidge was a mediocre president.

en.wikipedia.org
32. I could probably beat up Johnny Appleseed.
33. There are way too many old buildings everywhere. It’s like, hey, you ever hear of insulation?

en.wikipedia.org
34. They will be truly offended by this list.
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