Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Ns tell me a joke

profile picture
T0mp3ri
Posts: 23 - Karma: 217
Tell me a joke..

pls
POLL
Edit Poll
Votes:

Take care when editing a poll; Options should be similar to maintain vote integrity.

More options will be added automatically as you type. You must supply a question and at least two options. No HTML is allowed.

Jan 12 2015 8:47PM
259 46
profile picture
deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own?

Because it was too tired!
Jan 12 2015 8:49PM
12 0
profile picture
270on420out
Posts: 7514 - Karma: 51,162
Why did Tigger the tiger have his head in a toilet?

He was searching for Pooh.
Jan 12 2015 8:52PM
4 0
profile picture
JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
An Irish man walks out of a bar.
Jan 12 2015 8:55PM
22 0
profile picture
Dobber
Posts: 1698 - Karma: 9,835
My wife is dragging me to this play. SoSomebodylease kill me. -Abraham Lencon
Jan 12 2015 8:56PM
7 0
profile picture
Dobber
Posts: 1698 - Karma: 9,835
DobberMy wife is dragging me to this play. SoSomebodylease kill me. -Abraham Lencon


What.
Jan 12 2015 8:57PM
1 1
profile picture
starvin_marvin
Posts: 233 - Karma: 533
What did the electrician say to his son when he came home from a party?
"Wire you insulate?"
Jan 12 2015 8:59PM
7 0
profile picture
toastyteenagers
Posts: 1834 - Karma: 6,793
Your love life

this thread
Jan 12 2015 8:59PM
12 0
profile picture
numnuts
Posts: 395 - Karma: 1,150
what do you call a black lady who has 7 abortions
-a crime fighter
Jan 12 2015 9:00PM
20 0
profile picture
.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,488
Why are leprachauns always laughing?


Because when then walk in the grass it tickles their pickle
Jan 12 2015 9:00PM
2 1
profile picture
Shredsterr
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 6,930
A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender looks at him, and says, "why the long face?"

The horse doesn't look up, and replies, "my wife was just diagnosed with cancer."


Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk
Jan 12 2015 9:23PM
10 1
profile picture
CameraWiz
Posts: 735 - Karma: 2,112
Why'd the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
Jan 12 2015 9:51PM
4 1
profile picture
theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
Alright... There's these three guys, spic, white guy and a black guy.
Jan 12 2015 9:55PM
0 0
profile picture
.frenchy
Posts: 18227 - Karma: 12,372
my GPA lmao
Jan 12 2015 10:09PM
7 0
profile picture
rtl32
Posts: 679 - Karma: 1,161
JenniferGarner
Jan 12 2015 10:10PM
14 0
profile picture
bieberhole69.
Posts: 654 - Karma: 1,387
What's brown and sticky? A stick
Jan 12 2015 10:11PM
6 0
profile picture
Mingg
Posts: 13992 - Karma: 49,651
What's a ducks favorite drug?


Quack cocaine.
Jan 12 2015 10:57PM
4 2
profile picture
rballs_
Posts: 709 - Karma: 2,991
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne?

Acne waits until you're 12 to come on your face.
Jan 12 2015 11:05PM
20 0
profile picture
.CJ.
Posts: 1509 - Karma: 3,669
Three men went Las Vegas and after a losing their money at the blackjack tables, the best friends decided to stay off the strip in a not so lavish hotel and the guy that owned it had 18 daughters so the first man went up to they’re father and said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?" the father said "no but you can sleep with the pigs." the second man went to the father and said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?" the father said " no but you can sleep with the cows." the third man said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?" the father said "yes." so in the morning the three men and the father had a conversation over breakfast the first man said "I slept like a pig" the second man said "I slept like a cow" the third man said "I felt like a golfer" the father asked why? he said cause I got my balls in 18 holes
Jan 13 2015 12:37AM
0 0
profile picture
duder227
Posts: 169 - Karma: 1,175
what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your wall


Art
Jan 13 2015 12:45AM
1 0
profile picture
Ghoster
Posts: 261 - Karma: 1,871
A midget walks under a bar
Jan 13 2015 12:53AM
6 0
profile picture
SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,353
black people
Jan 13 2015 1:24AM
0 0
profile picture
las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
Knock knock
Jan 13 2015 2:29AM
0 0
profile picture
Shredsterr
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 6,930
las.Knock knock


Sorry, is the doorbell broken?
Jan 13 2015 2:46AM
5 1
profile picture
las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
KNOCK KNOCK
Jan 13 2015 3:17AM
1 0
profile picture
RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
las.KNOCK KNOCK


interrupting cow
Jan 13 2015 3:35AM
5 1
profile picture
las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
Ding dong
Jan 13 2015 3:49AM
1 0
profile picture
seanahue.
Posts: 2142 - Karma: 3,375
Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.



After my prostate exam, the doctor left. Then the nurse came.
At that point, she whispered the 5 words no man wants to hear: "Who the fuck was that?"



My girlfriend is a porn star. She's gonna be so pissed when she finds out.
Jan 13 2015 4:20AM
8 0
profile picture
Substitute
Posts: 1376 - Karma: 2,275
What's red and bad for your teeth?




A brick.
Jan 13 2015 9:00AM
3 0
profile picture
jackdonovan
Posts: 2248 - Karma: 3,079
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD3L2gw5Wb8www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD3L2gw5Wb8

This is OP
Jan 13 2015 9:32AM
1 4
profile picture
jackdonovan
Posts: 2248 - Karma: 3,079
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD3L2gw5Wb8

this is OP
Jan 13 2015 9:32AM
1 3
profile picture
messplay
Posts: 4483 - Karma: 1,066
A pastor, a rabbi, and a priest are on a sinking ship.

The pastor yells, "save the children!"
The rabbi says, "fuck the children!"
The priest says, "do you think we have time?"


also


What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?




*gag*
Jan 13 2015 11:55AM
3 0
profile picture
jackdonovan
Posts: 2248 - Karma: 3,079
Do you like dragons?
























Cuz ill be dragon my balls across your face
Jan 13 2015 1:05PM
1 1
profile picture
chrispyminis
Posts: 99 - Karma: 216
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb

Probably more than 8 because op's basement is still dark
Jan 13 2015 1:08PM
8 1
profile picture
AT-AT
Posts: 3281 - Karma: 3,256
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller?

Its okay, she didn't either.
Jan 13 2015 1:32PM
2 0
profile picture
ANDR01D
Posts: 1181 - Karma: 3,319
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, they're efficient and not very funny.
Jan 13 2015 1:39PM
1 2
profile picture
Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
How much does a polar bear weigh?

Less than you!
Jan 13 2015 1:54PM
1 2
profile picture
John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,165
America told me a joke once: native americans
kind of fucked if you ask me
Jan 13 2015 2:22PM
0 2
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51745 - Karma: 163,550
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

What do you call a gay black guy with braces?












Salad shooter

Black and decker pecker wrecker
Jan 13 2015 2:27PM
3 1
profile picture
NotGhood
Posts: 2809 - Karma: 1,255
The economy
Jan 13 2015 2:32PM
1 1
profile picture
yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?














because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat!
Jan 13 2015 2:33PM
5 0
profile picture
DANIELMORTENSEN
Posts: 272 - Karma: 1,032
Knock Knock
Jan 13 2015 2:50PM
0 0
profile picture
deng
Posts: 74 - Karma: 39
OP is the best joke there is
Jan 13 2015 3:03PM
0 3
profile picture
saskskier
Posts: 4774 - Karma: 10,005
A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

Why does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes?
- he uses the finest ingredients

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker?
- she has dementia
Jan 13 2015 3:12PM
1 3
profile picture
*SID*
Posts: 3133 - Karma: 975
What do you call a black man flying a plane?

A pilot.
Jan 13 2015 3:31PM
1 1
profile picture
JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
What's worse than a worm in your apply?

The holocaust.
Jan 13 2015 3:34PM
1 1
profile picture
SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,353
Just.Go.With.ItWhat's worse than a worm in your apply?

man i haet wen that hapens
Jan 13 2015 3:35PM
3 1
profile picture
JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
Just.Go.With.Itapply


I give up.
Jan 13 2015 3:39PM
0 0
profile picture
tBatt
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 580
Researchers just developed a new topical ointment to help lesbian women with depression. It's called Tricoxagain.
Jan 13 2015 4:39PM
4 0
profile picture
Powstagram
Posts: 250 - Karma: 2,563
Why was the girl crying?

She got raped
Jan 13 2015 5:05PM
2 2
profile picture
arnie_grape
Posts: 3451 - Karma: 11,688
Jan 13 2015 5:08PM
11 0
All times are Eastern (-5)