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One time I was coming back from Utah and I had to hold my poop for 3 hours. I ran into the bathroom exploded. Little did I know that I had accidentally pooped all over the floor. I got some looks when I walked out.
Last spring I got hungry and made cookiew, had about 3 golf ball sized balls of dough and 4 hours later the fiery, moist hell was over. Never eating that stuff again.
I don't know why, But when I was a kid, I held in my shits for as long as I could because I thought pooping was a waste of time.
So anyway, I went to visit my grandma with my parents in their retirement home/complex. Its a giant apartment type structure with a community first floor where old people go to play checkers, knit, smoke crack, play cards, the usual.
I say I need to go toe the bathroom and leave my family to go handle business since I was at the critical point. I didn't compensate for how badly I had to shit while walking because I was doing the "I need to run, but can't so I'm walking but practically running fuck you" routine.
I get to the shitter, open the handicapped stall since I knew this one was going to be for the long haul, pull down my pants, but it was too late...
I straight up shit on the floor, a perfect, long log. I assess the damage and I got absolutely zero poop on me, but I now had to take a shit while looking at my shit. I was in a real conundrum. Like I was proud of it, but at the same time disgusted, like a hip-hop star's parents.
I clean up, finish the business and see my parents. I hear the door open of some poor bastard entering the shitter after me. I hear 10 seconds of silence, and then the racist rants of an 80 Year Old WWII veteran due to my shit on the ground. I was quiet the rest of the day.
camping in oct. didn't have that much TP to dig holes, so we drove into town and murdered the local towns grocery store bathroom. cashiers/managers were so fucking pissed lol.
I once went ice fishing with a dude wearing coveralls..long story short, he thought he he shit in the woods and unbeknownst to him, he actually shat in his hood
I pooped in my upstairs bathroom before leaving for a trip with my family and I didn't flush. We got back a week later and I looked in the toilet and it was just a brown cloud. When I flushed it, the most vile smell I have ever smelt singed my nostril hairs. It literally felt like a wall of poo smell ran into me.
Every year my town holds a big fireworks display and festival on the 3rd of July. Me and my buddies were there and we were made a trip back to our car before the fireworks started to grab some beers, chyll. So as we're walking someone lights off a pretty loud firework in their back yard. He claims it was by coincidence, but after the firework went off he just said, "i just shit myself". He was dead serious, he let out a copious amount of diarrhea in his pants. He had to clean up with some dirty sheets he had in his trunk, and toss his boxers and the sheets in a random bush.
The funny part of the story is he proceeded to cuddle with this annoying ass girl 20 minutes later during the fireworks with fecal residue on the inside of his shorts and leg.
From that day forward he earned the nickname, "Stew".
Once op stole an icon. It was such a good icon that he needed to make a shitty thread so he could show it off to everyone. Little did op know that his little icon side hustle would get him in trouble with the authorities. After spending some time in jail his butthole had felt the consequences of his actions. After his time in jail was done he exited jail a new man, or so he thought. Op had convinced himself that he was a better person and that he would never steal again, but then the temptation of gaining the adoration of an internet community began to tempt op. He tried and tried to resist but it was simply too much, so he stole this thread idea and made a repost.
Every time i am taking an crap I snap a picture of my view. Been doing this for 4 years now and the result is about 1400 pictures.
I used it for a project for school once but had to limit it to 300 pictures.
this is about 3 meters high and 1,5/2 meters wide pretty impressive shit (hehe) if you think i could make this 5 times as wide...
I to this day will never forget the time I pooped a smiley face. There were two short little poops that were the eyes and one long curved poop that was the smile.
There was that one and I also had another poop that looked kind of like Osama Bin Laden.
New years eve, my friend and I were tired as fuk so we walked back to his house and I go into the shitter and next thing I know I hear fireworks, I look out the window and boom, a big display of fireworks, taking a massive dump while watching grade A fireworks makes for a good shit.
I pooped out two turds, and when I looked into the toilet, I saw that one was dark brown, and one was light brown. It wasn't just lighting either, I looked from every angle I could think of. It was pretty neat.
For whatever reason, when I was a young lad, I had to poop every time I played ping pong. I don't know why but that was just how things went back then. So me and my buddy were playing ping pong and I felt a nice firm poop trying to escape. I put down my paddle and told him I needed to go upstairs to use the restroom. At this age, I had just become cool enough to start wearing boxers. Anyways, I began walking up the stairs and I could see that my friend was beginning to follow me. I'm about a quarter way up the stairs when I feel the urge to fart.
I let it loose.
What followed was the feeling of a single little pebble of turd matter grazing down my upper leg through my boxers, out of my basketball shorts, and right onto the stairs. I kept my cool and continued to ascend the stairs but I was in pure terror. My buddy walked up behind me and suddenly stopped. He shouted, "what the heck!? there is poop on the stairs!." Keeping my cool, I replied, "Oh, that's weird, it must have been the cat. I'll get it." I then proceeded to the restroom, grabbed a tissue, came back down and picked up my own shit with a tissue then threw it in the toilet. To this day no one knows that it wasn't the cat. Now I only wear briefs so that my poop has no chance of escaping.
I was chilling on the couch, watching some of the office (when it was good and michael was in it) and my brother thought it would be hilarious to lean over and fart on me. So he did and ended up sharting. None got on me but the whole rear of his pants was covered/soaked in shit. Best moment of my life.
I have a pretty good one. Went on a vacation to Colorado when I was around 7 for a few weeks, and when we got there I told my parents I refused to poop anywhere but back at home. Held it and didn't shit for little over a week, and at this point the pain in my ass was getting so intense that my 7-year old mind somehow channeled the pain from my ass into my left arm. I started complaining that I broke my arm but "forgot how I broke it". My dad saw completely through it and said it was fine, and at this point my mom decided that my dad had punched me and we were both trying to hide it. they got in a fight and we went to the doctor, where they took x-rays showing my arm was 100% fine. still have those x-rays today. My mom and the doctor apologized to my dad for accusing him of abusing me and then the doctor had to surgically remove the shit from my ass. basically he stuck his hand up my ass with a rubber glove and pulled out a log. the end
SFBone time i took a big poop, and the water splashed back up into my butthole.
I used to always try to stand up as the big log was exiting my sphincter to get far enough away that it wouldn't splash on me. It always just made a bigger splash and got me more wet. Now I've just given up hope and take it like a man.
One night I drank an entire super large Naked juice bottle and I went to shit in the middle of the night and flooded the entire toilet with my diareah overflowing onto my bathroom for I didn't know what to do so I grabbed all my dirty t-shirts and created a barrier to keep the diareah at bay. I washed the shirts a million times after that and when I was folding them I realized they were all my skiing shirts and sweatshirts
When I was little I would sometimes hold my poop for as long as I could to produce a log that was as big as possible. I thought big poops were a thing of pride. I gave myself bonus points when I'd break one off so clean that when I went to wipe the TP had zero poo on it.
Another time would be when I was about 4-5 years of age. My brothers friend still remembers this after 12 years. I casually was walking down stairs and each step I went down was left with a nice Hershey kiss sized turd on about 10/15 of the stairs on the set.
This summer I wasn't feeling well after about 2 shitless days. Whining and curling up in pain I went to the hospital in mother's fear of appendicitis, x ray showed a fair surpless of stool. With no laxatives it went bad as soon as I got home
In grade 4, I had to stay home sick and my farts felt like fire. My dad stayed home with me and we were watching a movie together. After farting for about an hour, I went to the bathroom, and it turns out my farts were actually sharts. Shit was all over the couch I sat on, it took me a while to wipe up.
Summer camp at lake Wenatchee when I was like 11, too embarrassed to ask to go to the restroom cause everybody was sleeping so sure enough I pass out in my mummy sleeping bag and wake up in a nice warm soup.
Was at this park, and my two friends and I were playing a game where we would say something ridiculous that we had to do, and throw rocks at this pole out in the river and if anyone hit it, you had to do what they said.
My friend tells me if he hits it I gotta drop a log out in the middle of the park, and lo and behold he snipes the pole. So, being slightly pissed off I ran over, squatted and took a gigantic dump. It was the length of my shoes and half the width (I have 13's).
Being frustrated, I decided to take action and proclaim that if I hit the pole, my friend who had made me shit in the park had to pick up my poop, and write his name on the sidewalk with my poop. As luck would have it I hit the pole and gleefully watched my friend pick up my still warm feces and write his entire name with about seven people give or take walking by and giving him what can only be described as "looks of disappointment".
Went to this summer camp and some kid pooped in the showers. obviously nobody ever fessed up to it. so we created a mythical creature that we could blame it on. The Poop Goblin. That was three summers ago and every summer since then, the poop goblin is sighted at least once and his legacy will live forever
GregFlikSo anyway, I went to visit my grandma with my parents in their retirement home/complex. Its a giant apartment type structure with a community first floor where old people go to play checkers, knit, smoke crack, play cards, the usual.
maximiliaanEvery time i am taking an crap I snap a picture of my view. Been doing this for 4 years now and the result is about 1400 pictures.
I used it for a project for school once but had to limit it to 300 pictures.
this is about 3 meters high and 1,5/2 meters wide pretty impressive shit (hehe) if you think i could make this 5 times as wide...
Since middle school was the start of my self concious journey. Im not a fan of things like pooping in school or around more than 5 kids I know. So we went on our 8th grade enviromental camp trip. The bathrooms were large and had stalls and showers, I tried before bed one night but a few kids came to brush their teeth. So I went a week without pooping and got home and took 3 intervals of massive poops. It was awful, I hate pooping in public.
Lé.SkiingI to this day will never forget the time I pooped a smiley face. There were two short little poops that were the eyes and one long curved poop that was the smile.
So, up until a few weeks ago this was the only time this has ever happened. I have now pooped two smiley faces in my life. I even have photo evidence of one of the two.
maximiliaanEvery time i am taking an crap I snap a picture of my view. Been doing this for 4 years now and the result is about 1400 pictures.
I used it for a project for school once but had to limit it to 300 pictures.
this is about 3 meters high and 1,5/2 meters wide pretty impressive shit (hehe) if you think i could make this 5 times as wide...
I got some bad food poisoning up in Durango Co. The only close store that I could relief my self was Rite-aid. Anyway I jump out of the car about to crap my self. I see the bathroom and bolt. I soon as I enter the restroom I shit my pants. It was really bad. Anyway it was a single bathroom and I tried to clean my self up with some toilet paper. The issue was I ran out of toilet paper, and I still had poop on my pants. Anyway I know I had to get out of the bathroom and get to the car.
I threw my boxers away and took my arteryx pants off( which had shit on them). So now I'm completely commando. I pull my jacket down so my thing won't be seen and run out of the rite Aid.
I wondering what the rite Aid employees must think when they watch the security footage of me running out of their store with no pants on.
I went on a date trip to indonesia with a guy I had only known for 3 days. 11 days into the 14 day trip, I got salmonella poisoning.
I spent the rest of the trip using the bathroom every 30 minutes and describing my bowel movements so that he could email his doctor father to make sure it wasn't anything more serious.
Then I flew back the the US in a window economy seat... only 3.5 days into the hellish sickness. That was 13 hours of pissing off my row and probably everyone else around me.. and anyone seated near the bathroom. I tried to get moved to an aisle seat near the bathroom. They said they were all taken. I wish this experience upon no one ever.
fuck pooping at school. anyways i need to take a dump and decide to visit the nicest bathroom in the school because i dont wanna deal with the nasty ass smelly broken toilets. Ive gotta go pretty bad so as soon as i step into the stall i drop the pants and drop the deuce. I soon realize i dont have toilet paper. Im thinking "Hey not a problem theres another stall ill just pop in there after the guy using it is done and wipe my ass." the guy in the other stall proceeds to be in there for 15 minutes. he finally gets up and leaves. after a clearing in bathroom action. i slip into the other stall and of course, no toilet paper. At this point i being to panic. I sit there for a minute of two thinking about the next closest bathroom. I finally have just had enough, and gingerly pull my underwear and pants up just enough to cover my dick and ass (thank god for tall t's) i tip toe through the crowded library to the next bathroom and hurry into the stall. I finally am able to wipe my ass and return to class 30 minutes later.
tldr: go to take shit, no paper. switch stalls, no paper. walk through school with shit ass to other bathroom, wipe ass.
maximiliaanEvery time i am taking an crap I snap a picture of my view. Been doing this for 4 years now and the result is about 1400 pictures.
I used it for a project for school once but had to limit it to 300 pictures.
this is about 3 meters high and 1,5/2 meters wide pretty impressive shit (hehe) if you think i could make this 5 times as wide...
RachyI went on a date trip to indonesia with a guy I had only known for 3 days. 11 days into the 14 day trip, I got salmonella poisoning.
I spent the rest of the trip using the bathroom every 30 minutes and describing my bowel movements so that he could email his doctor father to make sure it wasn't anything more serious.
Then I flew back the the US in a window economy seat... only 3.5 days into the hellish sickness. That was 13 hours of pissing off my row and probably everyone else around me.. and anyone seated near the bathroom. I tried to get moved to an aisle seat near the bathroom. They said they were all taken. I wish this experience upon no one ever.
Hate to be the one to break it to ya, but girls don't poop.
Following a night out, I followed my buddies into a donair shop. My shit schedule had been really messed up around then, sometimes id shit 4 times a day, sometimes not at all. All of a sudden I had to shit, of course this time was an abnormally large one, which ended up flooding the bathroom. I walked out slowly, grabbed my buddies and left thinking nothing of it. The following saturday I returned to said donair shop, somehow the guy recognized me, and told me as long as he worked there, I wasn't allowed back
There was a fucked up trend at my school that I was involved in where people snapchatted each other themselves shitting. It was pretty funny cause all you would see is a white flash (from the flash on their phone because you need lighting to see into the toilet) and then out of no where a log of shit would slowly creep it's way into the frame and then drop into the toilet.
There was this one kid in particular who ruined it for everyone because he started sending snaps of his actual asshole (like close up of his legit asshole) and that was just too much.
