Member of the Month

abjectwoe
May, 2025

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Not falling asleep to pass a drug test

profile picture
Al.Capone
Posts: 661 - Karma: 2,779
Well, unfortunately, I have a drug test coming up tomorrow morning and a dude is going to watch me pee. As one realizes they are probably doomed they start to come up with dumb solutions to save themselves. My logic here is this. When you sleep toxins naturally build up overnight as your body is resting, thats why you need to pee in the morning. My drug test is first thing in the morning since I'm going in before school. Would staying up all night and drinking water and coffee help my efforts to not get in trouble? Help me out homies with any tips as this might mean less skiing depending on the results.
10 years ago
429 42
profile picture
swaggerboi
Posts: 321 - Karma: 1,377
use the middle of the stream
or accuse the guy watching you pee of sexual harassment and sue his pedophile ass
10 years ago
29 0
profile picture
vandersteeze
Posts: 2650 - Karma: 1,511
Lol
10 years ago
3 0
profile picture
proZach
Posts: 7163 - Karma: 919
no
10 years ago
3 0
profile picture
bighomieflock
Posts: 2040 - Karma: 2,445
I'd say just start smoking shit tons of weed. Maybe if you smoke enough it will confuse the drug test.
10 years ago
43 0
profile picture
eheath
Posts: 61955 - Karma: 126,724
10 years ago
30 0
profile picture
Static
Posts: 8590 - Karma: 4,091
piss on the guy
10 years ago
13 0
profile picture
seanahue.
Posts: 2142 - Karma: 3,374
if you have enough time in the morning, get to a head shop that sells the whizzinator. its literally a fake dick that pumps out synthetic urine.

if the whizzinator isn't an option, buy a detox drink. follow the directions EXACTLY. most require you to pee at least three times before your test before you have a 'clean' window, so plan accordingly.

if you don't have time for either of the above, start drinking a shitload of water immediately. anywhere from 1-2 gallons depending on how much time you have. take a bunch of b vitamins. eat a bunch of red meat, or even better, take a creatine supplement if you have some available. piss at least 3-4 times before the test. when you test, pee a little in the toilet first, catch your urine mid-stream, then finish in the toilet. the first and last parts of your stream are the dirtiest (have the most metabolites).

aside from synthetic urine, whether its through a detox drink or your own means, your best hope is to dilute below the 50ng threshold while artificially coloring (with b vitamins) and raising your creatine levels to avoid a suspicious/overly diluted test.

good luck
10 years ago
32 0
profile picture
MLJ
Posts: 1849 - Karma: 3,649
Good luck either way
10 years ago
1 0
profile picture
Al.Capone
Posts: 661 - Karma: 2,779
Thanks doods.

Update: Op took the test, is now at school, and is waiting 2 hours for the results to come in. I went midstream but unfortunately passed out so I won't know if my theory stands a chance. I did make the guy feel as uncomfortable as possible though.
10 years ago
10 0
profile picture
270on420out
Posts: 7524 - Karma: 51,325
Al.CaponeThanks doods.

Update: Op took the test, is now at school, and is waiting 2 hours for the results to come in. I went midstream but unfortunately passed out so I won't know if my theory stands a chance. I did make the guy feel as uncomfortable as possible though.


Did you shake it in his face?
10 years ago
8 0
profile picture
WPoch
Posts: 1762 - Karma: 3,886
Al.CaponeThanks doods.

Update: Op took the test, is now at school, and is waiting 2 hours for the results to come in. I went midstream but unfortunately passed out so I won't know if my theory stands a chance. I did make the guy feel as uncomfortable as possible though.


Good luck OP
10 years ago
1 0
profile picture
crotchvent
Posts: 1527 - Karma: 2,185
Al.CaponeThanks doods.

Update: Op took the test, is now at school, and is waiting 2 hours for the results to come in. I went midstream but unfortunately passed out so I won't know if my theory stands a chance. I did make the guy feel as uncomfortable as possible though.


Passed out mid pee?
10 years ago
26 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 52629 - Karma: 174,658
Why were you getting tested? What level of school? I would just refuse and tell them to go fuck themselves honestly. If you're applying for a job operating heavy machinery that's one thing, but for school? Fuck that noise.

Even if you fail tell them to go fuck themselves.
10 years ago
8 0
profile picture
HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,683
Al.CaponeThanks doods.

Update: Op took the test, is now at school, and is waiting 2 hours for the results to come in. I went midstream but unfortunately passed out so I won't know if my theory stands a chance. I did make the guy feel as uncomfortable as possible though.


lol wut you passed out?
10 years ago
1 0
profile picture
Turd.Ferguson
Posts: 1437 - Karma: 2,713
definitley waiting for these results
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
the.hellion.
Posts: 861 - Karma: 698
No update, OP in jail.
10 years ago
36 0
profile picture
That_One_Dude
Posts: 1050 - Karma: 760
Very curious on OP's status
10 years ago
2 0
profile picture
Mr.softcookie
Posts: 233 - Karma: 713
swaggerboiuse the middle of the stream
or accuse the guy watching you pee of sexual harassment and sue his pedophile ass


Best choice.
10 years ago
7 0
profile picture
Mr.softcookie
Posts: 233 - Karma: 713
swaggerboiuse the middle of the stream
or accuse the guy watching you pee of sexual harassment and sue his pedophile ass


Best choice.
10 years ago
0 6
profile picture
Turd.Ferguson
Posts: 1437 - Karma: 2,713
the.hellion.No update, OP in jail.


Most likley outcome
10 years ago
2 0
profile picture
steeze4days
Posts: 358 - Karma: 1,945
This is why you always get pugs instead of drugs kids.


Learn from OP's mistakes
10 years ago
0 5
profile picture
Toaster-Tony
Posts: 3531 - Karma: 5,850
steeze4daysThis is why you always get pugs instead of drugs kids.


Learn from OP's mistakes


i just do dugs that don't stay in your system.. Like huffing paint or keyboard duster
10 years ago
20 0
profile picture
Dobber
Posts: 1698 - Karma: 9,832
Well his name suits him well. Poor Al.Capone
10 years ago
7 0
profile picture
mski
Posts: 4791 - Karma: 3,803
Yah Al, you've got STD's. I think a drug test is the least of your worries.
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
ZachAndCheese
Posts: 816 - Karma: 5,116
Should of peed on the guy watching you, fucking rookie mistake
10 years ago
3 0
profile picture
all-i-do-is=ski
Posts: 700 - Karma: 248
There is only one way to pass. Oil change
10 years ago
23 0
profile picture
*Frankie*
Posts: 532 - Karma: 703
Tests came back OP is gay
10 years ago
33 2
profile picture
assatrailz
Posts: 324 - Karma: 745
Drink a cup of bleach 1 hour before you gota take test.
10 years ago
2 1
profile picture
daOyster
Posts: 329 - Karma: 298
The results are in. You ARE the father. Good luck on the child support.
10 years ago
3 8
profile picture
MLJ
Posts: 1849 - Karma: 3,649
See ya later OP.
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
skier58284
Posts: 1705 - Karma: 5,366
Staticpiss on the guy


The only solution.
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
BobsTitsAndAss
Posts: 1 - Karma: -25
Al.CaponeWell, unfortunately, I have a drug test coming up tomorrow morning and a dude is going to watch me pee. As one realizes they are probably doomed they start to come up with dumb solutions to save themselves. My logic here is this. When you sleep toxins naturally build up overnight as your body is resting, thats why you need to pee in the morning. My drug test is first thing in the morning since I'm going in before school. Would staying up all night and drinking water and coffee help my efforts to not get in trouble? Help me out homies with any tips as this might mean less skiing depending on the results.


swaggerboiuse the middle of the stream
or accuse the guy watching you pee of sexual harassment and sue his pedophile ass


If you actually think that staying up one night is gonna get you to pass a drug test you are a fucking moronic retard. Might consider killing yourself. Actually end your life now.
10 years ago
0 28
profile picture
000000000000
Posts: 843 - Karma: 1,552
If it's ganjola, you need to drink cranberry juice and buy a home drug test.
Get your dumb ass on a treadmill or in a sauna.
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,018
RIP in pepperoni OP. enjoy jail
10 years ago
6 0
profile picture
notspoicey
Posts: 1167 - Karma: 1,708
steam room
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
Stinging_Roger
Posts: 298 - Karma: 1,509
Don't drop the soap
10 years ago
1 0
profile picture
Al.Capone
Posts: 661 - Karma: 2,779
seanahue.good luck

Solid advice, thanks Sean

COOOOPPassed out mid pee?

Haha I passed out last night so i didn't stay up as planned.

theabortionatorWhy were you getting tested? What level of school? I would just refuse and tell them to go fuck themselves honestly.

This is the story, sorry if it's long but I gotta explain it to the newschooler homies. Freshman year I was doing pretty good, a's b's maybe a c and my parents thought it'd be good to put me in a private school here in slc. I'm not rich by any means though I took a test and they hooked up a scholarship so that's why I go there. I'm an average student but they hooked up the scholarship because of my parents income I actually have to work to pay for skiing, food, clothes, etc. So my parents cover the school. Apparently it's easier to get into college from there.
Since it's private though they feel entitled to fuck people over without any basic privileges, like privacy that's why they can drug test I guess. At the end of October I failed and my dad came in to sign a contract agreeing to another test. I know they warned me but I controlled my intake so as not to be dirty for a long time and get it out of my system. The test was due by this Friday before finals. Last time I smoked was New Years and I figured a week would be good to drink water and test clean. This morning the test turned out clean and my dad dropped it off and dipped. The dean called me in and said the test wasn't valid and I have to get a hair test. My dad said when he signed the contract they didn't specify that but the dean is being a prick about it. I told her hair tests were expensive and not I or my dad would pay for it. I tested clean today but she didn't take that into consideration. She says I have to get a hair test now but we're kind of at a stand off since my dad's a homie and also doesn't want a hair test. He says it's excessive and completely unnecessary, I concur. My hair is a good 4/5 inches longer than my shoulders and he's pissed they want me to cut it because it took a long ass time for it to grow and for him to actually like my long hair. They need 100 strands of hair and we're just like fuck that I don't snort cocaine or anything so urine tests should do. Although I tested clean today the school still wants to fuck me over.

Sorry for the long post
Sparknotes: tested clean, now need hair test, I say fuck that.

*Frankie*Tests came back OP is gay

Hey there Frankie how's it's going;)
10 years ago
15 0
profile picture
Al.Capone
Posts: 661 - Karma: 2,779
BobsTitsAndAssIf you actually think that staying up one night is gonna get you to pass a drug test you are a fucking moronic retard. Might consider killing yourself. Actually end your life now.


I know it sounds stupid but your body does release toxins in its sleep and in the morning your pee is the most contaminated. It's only one night of sleep though it's not a big deal. You fucking shemale- bob's tits and ass? Sorry shemale bob
10 years ago
11 0
profile picture
Spagett+
Posts: 3499 - Karma: 14,884
Are you a shitty student at the private school? Are they trying to get a reason to kick you out?
10 years ago
8 0
profile picture
Sky.
Posts: 1158 - Karma: 287
Diabeetoi just do dugs that don't stay in your system.. Like huffing paint or keyboard duster


Luuuuucy luuuuucy I'm home!
10 years ago
5 0
profile picture
shane.t
Posts: 729 - Karma: 365
Al.CaponeSorry for the long post
Sparknotes: tested clean, now need hair test, I say fuck that.


Hey there Frankie how's it's going;)


Clutch. My parents test me every once in a while but i got some clean piss I just put in there, they have no clue ;)
10 years ago
2 0
profile picture
timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
Al.CaponeMy hair is a good 4/5 inches longer than my shoulders


Oh theres why they want you out
10 years ago
16 1
profile picture
Al.Capone
Posts: 661 - Karma: 2,779
shane.tClutch. My parents test me every once in a while but i got some clean piss I just put in there, they have no clue ;)


Haha hell yeah that's tight, my parents wouldn't even test me. They've found weed twice, over the summer, and last year. They threw it out and gave me a talk but it's mostly because they feel responsible as parents to do that I think, they know I'm not addicted or have used it as a gateway drug or anything. If I was in my twenties with a job and a stable situation I think they wouldn't mind.
10 years ago
5 0
profile picture
Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,018
Al.CaponeThey need 100 strands of hair and we're just like fuck that I don't snort cocaine or anything so urine tests should do.


hair tests can test for reefer too, which is what i'm assuming they want to do
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
Al.Capone
Posts: 661 - Karma: 2,779
timmiOh theres why they want you out


Only reason I grew it was to have that ski bum flow haha, it's wavy though so it looks like 3 inches dry.
10 years ago
9 0
profile picture
ZachAndCheese
Posts: 816 - Karma: 5,116
Al.CaponeThe dean called me in and said the test wasn't valid and I have to get a hair test.


Only option
10 years ago
14 0
profile picture
notspoicey
Posts: 1167 - Karma: 1,708
Hair test??? Looks like it's time to bring back frosted tips!
10 years ago
4 2
profile picture
SupremeDeity
Posts: 695 - Karma: 1,112
just pour some sunny-d into the cup
10 years ago
1 0
profile picture
Al.Capone
Posts: 661 - Karma: 2,779
North.WestAre you a shitty student at the private school? Are they trying to get a reason to kick you out?


I'm not completely shit, I mean I handle myself. I'd say I'm around average, got a 23 Act and a 2.85 gpa which would get me in the u of u no problem. I kind of have a record I guess. I bought a stolen sweatshirt freshman year(did not steal but did not rat anyone out, it was from the spirit shop. Sophomore year I got caught cheating and completely turned myself in. That was one time though because I wanted to get a good grade and I don't cheat for tests or quizzes, some hw here and there but everyone does that.
10 years ago
7 0
profile picture
Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,018
Al.CaponeI'm not completely shit, I mean I handle myself. I'd say I'm around average, got a 23 Act and a 2.85 gpa which would get me in the u of u no problem. I kind of have a record I guess. I bought a stolen sweatshirt freshman year(did not steal but did not rat anyone out, it was from the spirit shop. Sophomore year I got caught cheating and completely turned myself in. That was one time though because I wanted to get a good grade and I don't cheat for tests or quizzes, some hw here and there but everyone does that.




just an average joe trying to make it in america
10 years ago
23 0
All times are Eastern (-4); Currently it's 8:34PM