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SKIING LIMERICKS

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powabunga
Posts: 168 - Karma: 1,705
CHALLENGE: Write your own skiing limerick, +K for all attempts, though must follow the proper rhyming pattern and start with 'There once..' (dont fuck this up Brett_Fischer)

Ill start-

There once was a dude named THalls
Who had the most gnarliest of falls
His ankles went snap,
When he fucked up chads gap,
Now he dont ski much park at all.

There once was a crew from the Hood,
All summer they'd camp in the woods,
They'd drop loads of cliffs
And smoke all the spliffs,
And party with girls in the nude.
Dec 3 2014 2:01PM
976 126
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ModMommy
Posts: 10833 - Karma: 57,435
There once was girl named Sammi
She fell really hard and went whammy
She hit her head
then promptly said
Screw this I'm moving to Maui

I don't know what a limerick is
Dec 3 2014 2:19PM
41 1
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theabortionator
Posts: 51795 - Karma: 164,185
There once was a man from nantucket... oh wait my bad
Dec 3 2014 2:25PM
33 1
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corona
Posts: 12808 - Karma: 32,853
there once was a pro named Steve
or so he had us believe
really he was no pro at all
and all he did was fall
Dec 3 2014 2:32PM
66 3
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ModMommy
Posts: 10833 - Karma: 57,435
There once was a kid who bought skis
He thought he had so much steeze,
But had had none at all
And often took a fall,
Making him blow out his knees.
Dec 3 2014 2:37PM
33 1
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corona
Posts: 12808 - Karma: 32,853
there once was a man named Lesh
who thought he was pretty fresh
he poured milk on titties
and hung with biddies
now he's moving to Bangladesh

idk what else rhymes with Lesh
Dec 3 2014 2:38PM
38 0
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mostlyyogurt
Posts: 49 - Karma: 201
There once was a wizard named Andy,
Who lived a life quite dandy,
In a van he did sleep
Some may call him a creep
But his tricks are really quite grand-y
Dec 3 2014 3:52PM
51 0
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Julius_Steezer
Posts: 776 - Karma: 4,546
There once was a kid called tom
Who's dub corks 10 were the bomb
But one summer day
This trick went astray
And his right acl, it was gone
Dec 3 2014 4:16PM
62 0
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Nacho+
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 7,791
Once there was a dude named nacho
He was totally freakin macho
He bangs lots of chicks
And they always suck his dick
Then he goes and eats gazpacho
Dec 3 2014 4:29PM
33 1
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Bear.D
Posts: 52 - Karma: 337
there once was a swede named e-dollo
reppin' wu-tang and pants that were so low
that the undies are sponsored
for this nosebud-trip monster
but i've heard that hood crew fucked his bitch, tho
Dec 3 2014 4:35PM
5 44
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Bum.Life
Posts: 507 - Karma: 2,608
There once was a dude named Nick,
Who once hucked a 50 foot cliff.
The landing was slick,
And he cut off his dick,
And now he can't land any tricks.
Dec 3 2014 4:38PM
19 0
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All_Alpine
Posts: 183 - Karma: 457
There once was a site called Newschoolers
It was filled with posts from losers
One day B_Fish joined
Everyone got annoyed
Now you find him alone on the groomers
Dec 3 2014 4:39PM
31 0
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snowmosexual
Posts: 1933 - Karma: 10,020
There once was man, skiierman
He said so much shit, he's banned
Now he sits alone
NSG is thrown
and it probably won't come back again
Dec 3 2014 4:50PM
7 0
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corona
Posts: 12808 - Karma: 32,853
DubDiazthere once was a swede named e-dollo
reppin' wu-tang and pants that were so low
that the undies are sponsored
for this nosebud-trip monster
but i've heard that hood crew fucked his bitch, tho


there once was a member named DubDiaz
his limerick read like verbal jazz
is he slow in the head
or close to dead
cause his writing lacks for pizazz
Dec 3 2014 4:52PM
34 0
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270on420out
Posts: 7516 - Karma: 51,166
There once was a boy named Brett
Who's spelling made our minds fret
His name became saga_kity
And we thought that was shitty
He is the worst speller we've ever met
Dec 3 2014 5:02PM
55 0
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Mrworm10
Posts: 2707 - Karma: 4,229
Moon_ShoesThere once was a boy named Brett
Who's spelling made our minds fret
His name became saga_kity
And we thought that was shitty
He is the worst speller we've ever met


Dec 3 2014 5:15PM
28 0
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SketchyBacon
Posts: 41 - Karma: 1,562
There once was a man named nick
He had a long dick
His last name is gaper
He now makes a lot of paper
He once skied at perfect north
But then he knew that was to short

Now he fucks bitches
Dec 3 2014 5:31PM
2 33
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LOLZfajitas
Posts: 393 - Karma: 1,054
Holy fuck, this thread delivers
Gave me some funny shivers
Be it from far
I got hit by a bar
And now my body's in slivers
Dec 3 2014 5:31PM
8 0
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90053
Posts: 2565 - Karma: 3,728
there was once a man called Andy Perry,
a wizerd who was mighty and scary,
with his friend Will,
some hippies they did kill,
and after, their kind were quite wary.
Dec 3 2014 5:34PM
8 0
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Tazer
Posts: 17 - Karma: 90
There once was a man from Park City
His hairline was rather shitty
He now skis for line
Cos his tricks are fine
And is now in the van committee
Dec 3 2014 6:00PM
31 0
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Dlud
Posts: 938 - Karma: 544
There was was a man named Kevin
He wanted his friend to hook up with a girl from heaven
Too bad she was thick
Her face looked like it was hit with a brick
He called her a solid seven

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/465157/Do-i-have-reason-to-be-mad-at-my-friend----with-pics
Dec 3 2014 6:10PM
15 1
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JOTTO
Posts: 237 - Karma: 1,519
There once was a man named Shae Flynn
You saw nothing on his head but skin
He took many bad falls
Screwed his shoulders i recall
and now nobody sponsors him
Dec 3 2014 6:32PM
14 0
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Powstagram
Posts: 250 - Karma: 2,563
There once was a lad called Powstagram,
One day he took a very bad slam,
A fair maiden saw this huge wham,
And even though she weighed 110 kilograms,
Powstagram peed in her butt
Dec 3 2014 7:12PM
10 0
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powabunga
Posts: 168 - Karma: 1,705
There once was a dude called JP
All over the mountain he'd ski
He'd ski gnarly chutes,
And throw backy-mutes,
Take too soon S-I-P.

:'(
Dec 3 2014 7:14PM
54 0
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Powstagram
Posts: 250 - Karma: 2,563
powabungaThere once was a dude called JP
All over the mountain he'd ski
He'd ski gnarly chutes,
And throw backy-mutes,
Take too soon S-I-P.

:'(


Mega props for that one man. He was an absolute legend, S.I.P. +k for you sir
Dec 3 2014 7:17PM
12 0
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LamieJ
Posts: 1008 - Karma: 2,591
Julius_SteezerThere once was a kid called tom
Who's dub corks 10 were the bomb
But one summer day
This trick went astray
And his right acl, it was gone


Moon_ShoesThere once was a boy named Brett
Who's spelling made our minds fret
His name became saga_kity
And we thought that was shitty
He is the worst speller we've ever met


These^
Dec 3 2014 7:29PM
3 0
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HabitualShred
Posts: 280 - Karma: 1,831
There once was a man named T-hall
The words he typed in caps WERE THEM ALL!!!
Some think he's a dick
Others think he's quite sick
And now his tricks are quite small
Dec 3 2014 7:30PM
16 2
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appal
Posts: 81 - Karma: 176
I once tried a genie off a jump quite teeny
but I landed on my ten foot weenie
It flopped like a snake
so i chopped it with a rake
now its only 6 foot 4
Dec 3 2014 7:35PM
3 3
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Mr.Mitten
Posts: 1331 - Karma: 3,946
There once was a girl in a dress
Who had a voluptuous chest
So Solid 7 she was
She caused quite a buzz
Now she's famous on the internet
Dec 3 2014 7:39PM
6 0
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KENDOZER
Posts: 408 - Karma: 1,147
There once was a swede named Edollo
he had swag and could lean like a cholo
His dreads grew long
As he ripped the bong
Wu tang is for the children, yolo

haha I had to try
Dec 3 2014 7:40PM
15 1
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steezy_doge
Posts: 781 - Karma: 1,718
there once was a king of afterbang
but unfortunately his knee went bang
then he joined a new gang
then sucked on my wang??

im not good with these things
Dec 3 2014 7:45PM
6 1
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Dlud
Posts: 938 - Karma: 544
There once was a man that sat on the loo
It was an ordinary morning poo
His shit hit the water with an audible "Plut"
He yelled "HELP!!! I think there are chemickals up my butt"
For he had forgotten to check if the water was blue

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/649775/HELP----I-think-there-are-chemickals-up-my-butt----?page=8
Dec 3 2014 7:47PM
11 1
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JTTrembles
Posts: 1108 - Karma: 1,907
There once was a kid who slayed
In the park he always stayed
He was scared of the upper mountain for he knew he was fucked
That's when he realized he kind've sucked
Now he's a wigger whose fresh outta luck

idfk
Dec 3 2014 7:54PM
1 0
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JTTrembles
Posts: 1108 - Karma: 1,907
There once was a goon
who only went to the hill in search of poon
He saw a snow bunny at whistler
and was pissed he never kissed her
but he was out of luck anyways for he was just a gaper
Dec 3 2014 8:12PM
3 2
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steezy_doge
Posts: 781 - Karma: 1,718
sagged pants
wide stance
boone skis
cork threes
Dec 3 2014 8:21PM
5 2
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steezy_doge
Posts: 781 - Karma: 1,718
Here I sit, in self pity
Staring across the city
Come on snow fall, set me free
Close the schools and let me ski
Dec 3 2014 8:21PM
5 2
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LOLZfajitas
Posts: 393 - Karma: 1,054
my names Lolzfajitas
I like senoritas
some call me spicy
others say im dicey
please love me
Dec 3 2014 8:22PM
7 1
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steezy_doge
Posts: 781 - Karma: 1,718
Throwin spins,
On these seasons twins,
Dropping cliffs,
Smokin spliffs,
I'm shreddin pow,
You know how,
J.P's mute,
I'll give it a salute,
The park's shut?
Guess I'll pee in her butt,
Skiierman?
Not a fan.
NOW SHOW ME THE WAY TO CHAD'S


we like baggy clothes,
and we like banging hoes,
where is my pass,
i guess ill just check my ass,
i did a future spin,
/claim just fuckin spin to win.

not limericks i don't think but whatever
Dec 3 2014 8:26PM
4 2
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JahLiam
Posts: 2321 - Karma: 7,828
there once was a skier named Wesson
he could out do any skier in session
not so much on jumps
for the east coast just has bumps
just to see him jib is a blessing
Dec 3 2014 9:12PM
11 0
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BaileyB
Posts: 589 - Karma: 160
There once was a skier named T-Wall
Who wore all his outerwear tall
He skied day and night
Afterbanged with delight
And not one person has seen him fall
Dec 3 2014 9:17PM
10 0
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gnarballsianm
Posts: 621 - Karma: 703
There once was a crew called CPS
they were the fucking best
No coverage they did receive
For in truth, they were quite shitty
Now they rep Seattle City

does that work, fuck it, it was worth a shot.
Dec 3 2014 9:27PM
0 1
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t-chettaa
Posts: 164 - Karma: 53
There once was a man named clayton
some say he signed with satan
from his 450s off
and sliding on rocks
his vids have us all masterbatin
Dec 3 2014 10:06PM
4 1
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NEPTR
Posts: 766 - Karma: 1,936
there once was a man named bart
he lived in wal-mart
he could out ski macrae
and blew the girls away
he listened to green bay
bart really had a small heart
Dec 3 2014 10:28PM
0 0
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FlintColvin
Posts: 7 - Karma: 20
There once was a skier named Compton
Sadly, he was bullied-called chompton
His tricks are on fleek
He really can't spell week
His TC days will never be forgotten
Dec 3 2014 10:35PM
5 0
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markc
Posts: 367 - Karma: 540
there was a name that was orange
......fuck....
Dec 3 2014 10:36PM
11 0
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Rossberger
Posts: 768 - Karma: 168
There was once a squad called hoodcrew
They must be on that homebrew
Fuck with them and they’ll fuck yo bitch too
But for real, where can I get one of those boob tattoos?
Dec 3 2014 10:37PM
2 2
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markc
Posts: 367 - Karma: 540
the hoodcrew that is on ns
made your bitch undress
they problly drank alll your alchohol
these guys can out party all y'all
upvote this poem with finesse
Dec 3 2014 10:46PM
4 1
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Rio360
Posts: 133 - Karma: 597
There once was a parkie named Tanning,
He believed in himself but kept falling,
So he picked up his balls and just hucked it,
Which resulted in him saying "f*** it!"
He now skis pow in Jasper every morning!
Dec 3 2014 10:47PM
0 2
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,186
There once was a skier named Wallisch
Whose tricks were really polished
A right dub he fell
Joined line NS could tell
Now we love the nostalgia
Dec 4 2014 12:08AM
0 0
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CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
I'm in college and am like a lamb.
My grades are slipping like they're on pam.
I ski during the week,
I play hide and go seek,
This limerick sucks cuz I'm going crazy from studying for my final exams.
Dec 4 2014 12:21AM
6 0
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Bwalks
Posts: 11 - Karma: 24
There once was a man named Dave
Big air is what he did crave
He took off the jumps
And aired off the bumps
He made the gucci plateau his slave.
Dec 4 2014 1:28AM
8 1
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