Who can make the best Directv commercial?

I know I am not the only one who tries to come up with some random sequence of events after watching these commercials.

Example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxO5jHAxhOYhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHBFpfNuTRIhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxO5jHAxhOYSo who can come up with the best one?


I'll start

When you wait for cable you get hungry
When you get hungry you go to that new mexican restaurant around the corner
When you go to the new mexican restaurant around the corner, you order "The Big One"
When you order the big one you suffer from severe diarrhea
When you suffer from severe diarrhea, all your friends leave you.
When all your friends leave you, you feel lonely
When you feel lonely you start collecting field mice.
When you start collecting field mice you die from the Bubonic Plague.

Don't die from the Bubonic Plague. Get rid of cable and switch to Directv today.