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Least Glamorous Ski Memories(Anti claim thread)

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theabortionator
Posts: 51666 - Karma: 162,559
What have you done/what has happened to you? The more you've hidden it away, the more money your parents spent on therapy to help you work through it, the more permanent damage it has caused you the better.





I fell down the stairs in my ski boots at jore and spilled all my food. Had no money left for more food, most likely cried.

My sister had the album for the coyote ugly movie. I was digging on that "can't fight the moonlight" song and stole it from my sister and rocked if for a couple weeks and chucked it in the on cd walkman when I was 11 or 12. Shredding the groomers in style yo. Fuck the haters.

Got on the ski bus and somebody had lost my permission slip or something and I couldn't go. Had all my gear on and had to get off the bus and not go skiing. Definitely crying there.

Last season when I tried to 50/50 a box in the morning and stuck to it, ejected and frontflipped off the end. Gaper status ;)
Nov 9 2014 9:08PM
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msg
Posts: 1108 - Karma: 3,269
Australia day. Fell on my face in the lift line. I blame the beers

Also asked the shop to fix my delam with ptex lol
Nov 9 2014 9:18PM
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Bum.Life
Posts: 507 - Karma: 2,608
Tried snowboarding once. That's one I want to forget. Never again
Nov 9 2014 9:24PM
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a_burger
Posts: 5235 - Karma: 20,715
in the 3rd grade I froze up at the top of the steepest run at wachusett and cried. It must have all been in my head because I has skied steeper runs before, and within the next season I started bombing it without a second thought.
Nov 9 2014 9:29PM
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balzach
Posts: 241 - Karma: 2,616
landed screamin semen
Nov 9 2014 9:31PM
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JahLiam
Posts: 2321 - Karma: 7,828
first run of the day, attempt to slide rail, rail is very sticky, fall on my face and double eject
Nov 9 2014 9:31PM
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ModMommy
Posts: 10817 - Karma: 57,210
Was skiing with a guy, decided to show off my halfpipe skills, (I'm awful at rails) I ended up landing on the lip so hard I peed myself. It was pretty attractive if I say so myself.

Once I couldn't get my ski boot off my right foot and payed a guy to do it for me.
Nov 9 2014 9:35PM
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ethanzatta
Posts: 146 - Karma: 309
When I was a young gaper, my hands were really cold so I thought it would be a good idea to warm them up. The way I warmed them up was by filling my gloves with hot water. Everybody laughed at me but I thought it was a great idea. I then realized how stupid it was when my gloves froze.
Nov 9 2014 9:41PM
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methscratchface
Posts: 1204 - Karma: 4,445
bought ski pants on ebay kinda drunk. Could not believe how good of a deal for brand new gore-tex pants for 75 bucks. Came in mail and realized they were womens and the inner leg vents when unzipped are pink. Fuck it they make my ass look fantastic so Im still rocking them.
Nov 9 2014 10:02PM
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willifast
Posts: 248 - Karma: 299
The two that are stuck in my mind would have to be when I was to short to get on the lift so I would have to jump, but I missed by a bit so it hit me in the back and ran my ass over. Another was when I took group lessons for the first time and didn't get off the lift at the top and tripped the auto shutoff thing and had to be "rescued" by ski patrol.
Other than that just the occasional time I eat shit cruising around in my instructor jacket.
Nov 9 2014 10:21PM
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PP_Operator
Posts: 16 - Karma: 94
immasWas skiing with a guy, decided to show off my halfpipe skills, (I'm awful at rails) I ended up landing on the lip so hard I peed myself. It was pretty attractive if I say so myself.


After reading this and watching the "i shit myself " video... Im bringing extra underwear every day from now on.
Nov 9 2014 10:29PM
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.otto.
Posts: 3493 - Karma: 12,895
When I was younger, I would always ask my Dad for "tricks skis" as I would point to kids who had snowblades... I would ask for them for all my birthdays and christmas... thank God he never actually got me a pair.

Almost everyone has also had embarrassing stories of getting credit carded by a rail. My first time was especially emotionally and physically scarring as I had just started hitting rails. I was also young, and I felt like I had to earn the respect from the older park skiers, so I hit the largest donkey dick rail there was on the hill, with a very unmellow kink.... next thing I know my skis split and Im riding this rail straight to the kink that still gives me pain looking at it today...I got some creds for hitting it, but it didn't make up for the damage it did to the family jewels.
Nov 9 2014 10:30PM
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ModMommy
Posts: 10817 - Karma: 57,210
AmSnatchFaceAfter reading this and watching the "i shit myself " video... Im bringing extra underwear every day from now on.


May or many not have been wearing my extra pair.
Nov 9 2014 10:31PM
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p-fo
Posts: 9372 - Karma: 6,155
I side jumped through the entire Mt Baker park when I was like 13. Pretty much the first time I remember ever going into a park.
Nov 9 2014 10:42PM
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smooter
Posts: 1121 - Karma: 1,368
was skiing at bogus basin in idaho by myself had never skiied powder before and i fell and couldnt get my skis back on i thought i was going to die on the mountain and no one would ever find me but then a nice lady came along and helped me out
Nov 9 2014 10:44PM
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Slush
Posts: 1915 - Karma: 12,944
When I was a little gapper, I went on my first ski trip. It was the first day of a 3 day trip to Killington. I was so excited, my friend took me to the first real mountain I had ever been to. I was beyond stoaked. One of the first things we went to was their park. Coming from my home mountain, the ram's head park was absolute heaven for me. 6 min park laps, 10 min lift ride, I was so happy and so full of stoak that I was in that mood of doing whatever.

Came down to a spine jib at the bottom of the park. Second run. Never got a good look at it.
I kid you not, I hit this motherfucker at mach 5 and next thing I know i'm 15 feet in the air staring down at the ground thinking "oh, that's funny". Next thing I feel is my heel exploding and the ground punching me in the face. This is what it looked like:


I had fucked up...

So yea, 2nd run, first day of a 3 day trip and I now had a heel I couldn't use. I still skied, but it was nowhere near as fun as using both feet to ski. I was so bummed. Still had a good time with my friend, we just rocked mellow trails.

And that's why I always scope features out before hitting them.
Nov 9 2014 10:47PM
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PartyHon
Posts: 2019 - Karma: 425
Any moment where I know I'm about to lose complete control whether hitting ice or landing a cliff with too much speed/into a shitty runout. The least graceful thing I will ever do. shear panic
Nov 9 2014 10:50PM
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-emile-
Posts: 6613 - Karma: 8,592
can't think of any thing really bad that happened to me skiing , but yesterday was the first time I've ever caught my tip on a backflip.... yay opening day !
Nov 9 2014 10:54PM
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DrZoidberg
Posts: 5675 - Karma: 4,268
theabortionatorMy sister had the album for the coyote ugly movie. I was digging on that "can't fight the moonlight" song and stole it from my sister and rocked if for a couple weeks and chucked it in the on cd walkman when I was 11 or 12. Shredding the groomers in style yo. Fuck the haters.


Did your anti skip actually work, or did it just not skip somehow?

Definitely went to nose bonk this thing the one and only time I went to killington and my ski ejected and I looked like a noob.
Nov 9 2014 10:57PM
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steezburgereddie
Posts: 1059 - Karma: 1,945
Once i came up short on a jump with a natural. I double ejected, did a scorpion, flipped over, landed perfectly into another scorpion. My back was hurting a bit in the morning.
Nov 9 2014 10:59PM
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hoodcrew
Posts: 1002 - Karma: 69,638
this was a sad day

https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/795589/first-day-of-skiing-in-july
Nov 9 2014 11:01PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
opening weekend of my small hill in NY, tried to boost over an orange fence blocking off a trail, didn't get high enough, caught the fence and dragged it about 40 yards down the hill
Nov 9 2014 11:19PM
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,185
Probably the day I accidentally hit on a dude who I thought was a girl while his two other friends where also on the chairlift. Safe to say the rest of the chairlift ride was awkward as fuck.
Nov 10 2014 12:23AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51666 - Karma: 162,559
Twinipznext thing I know i'm 15 feet in the air


15 feet in the air? Anti claim

DrZoidbergDid your anti skip actually work, or did it just not skip somehow?

Definitely went to nose bonk this thing the one and only time I went to killington and my ski ejected and I looked like a noob.


I think it worked decent. Would skip sometimes. I think I could hit jumps without it skipping sometimes. depended on how big and how flat/icy the landing was.

The good old days before mp3 players.
Nov 10 2014 12:30AM
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kemosabe
Posts: 449 - Karma: 1,309
Skiing in the rain. Then getting cut off by a snowboarder and falling in a puddle of dirt and water and snow. Sucked. True story


Last day off the season on this rainbow box to flat box I tried 50/50 it and caught tips between the transition of boxes hit my face stomach knee worst last day
Nov 10 2014 12:49AM
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kemosabe
Posts: 449 - Karma: 1,309
ethanzattaWhen I was a young gaper, my hands were really cold so I thought it would be a good idea to warm them up. The way I warmed them up was by filling my gloves with hot water. Everybody laughed at me but I thought it was a great idea. I then realized how stupid it was when my gloves froze.


That is hilarious
Nov 10 2014 12:51AM
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brend
Posts: 779 - Karma: 3,608
Catching your tips on a backflip is never fun.
Nov 10 2014 1:02AM
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nine50seven
Posts: 576 - Karma: 686
Landed a trick I was pretty stoked on and as I was riding away switch I caught and edge totally busted ass i felt kind of stupid
Nov 10 2014 1:09AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51666 - Karma: 162,559
I tried to switch butter across a pond in the spring full speed. Of course I caught my edge and belly flopped. In uniform in the base area. Might have been a little burnt. Everyone was digging it but some evil head lifty chick was freaking out and was like "don't do that again" and I was all like "why the fuck would I do that again derp" and she was all like "I didn't hear her cause I got on the lift".

Something like that. Sucked balls having to close down the park soaking wet. Fucking froze once it got colder. Oh well. Like my coach always said "If at first you don't succeed, find some dry clothes, have a good cry, smoke a blunt, and try something easier."




The first year I started skiing at an actual mtn went to the top of the bunny hill at the end of the day, some pow action. Was going to show my mom how rad I was. Bombing full speed like a boss, smiling and loving it, cruising feeling the wind, then both tips dug in and I wasn't smiling anymore. Don't think I cried but definitely wasn't stoked.
Nov 10 2014 1:18AM
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balzach
Posts: 241 - Karma: 2,616
aceofbladeZCatching your tips on a backflip is never fun.


actually not as bad as people make it out to be
Nov 10 2014 1:28AM
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skebumw
Posts: 190 - Karma: 444
had a pack on the lift, forgot to take it of, the buckle got lodged in the chair somehow didn't realize it tell i went to get off...... motherfucker near dragged me back down the fucking mountain before the operator shut the lift down
Nov 10 2014 2:10AM
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LoathesRaisins
Posts: 3612 - Karma: 4,735
Fell on the lift deck

Ski pole got stuck under my leg when I was getting off the lift. Basket got hooked on the back of the chair.

Teaching my first and last lesson, my 2 students took off backwards down the bunny hill. Parents were likely watching.
Nov 10 2014 2:22AM
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ColinB
Posts: 1452 - Karma: 2,236
I got a concussion in a lift line once..
Nov 10 2014 3:15AM
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Gerome.
Posts: 1040 - Karma: 965
balzachactually not as bad as people make it out to be


Your kidding right? Probably one of the scariest things that I have ever done skiing. Tip catch and then straight to the face is no fun.
Nov 10 2014 3:19AM
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270on420out
Posts: 7508 - Karma: 51,058
I tried to frontflip off a rainbow box. I landed in a seated position right on top of my ski pole. I could barely walk to the locker room. My anus returned to normal size 2 days later
Nov 10 2014 8:11AM
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bjc28
Posts: 31 - Karma: 315
A flat up tube and I tried to slide it ended up splitting it. Hitting the up straight to my nuts then flipping over landing on my back... It was fun!
Nov 10 2014 9:32AM
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kshaughn
Posts: 509 - Karma: 4,568
I think this happened like nine ago in Telluride. I was on a family ski trip and we were making our way back to the hotel at the end of the day on this sweet cat track when I decided to try to be cool and do a bunch of butters. Of course I am going way too fast for this and when I am perpendicular to the trail, I dig my entire ski into the trail and face plant hard. I got a small fracture in my elbow and my goggles broke into my face. I got taken down in a sled and they glued my face shut. I will say that I was back skiing the next day because my parents had already bought me the lift tickets for the week, but it is one of the most embarrassing things ever to get hurt on a green circle.
Nov 10 2014 9:33AM
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sbarlett
Posts: 882 - Karma: 4,255
First year skiing:

Yardsaled on my first black diamond, slide to the bottom of the slope. Skis are pretty much at the top. Had to have ski patrol go get my skis for me. Very embarrassing indeed
Nov 10 2014 9:41AM
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DrZoidberg
Posts: 5675 - Karma: 4,268
One time when I was younger and went to loveland, we rented skis. All the rental skis look the same, so I think I put my dads on. Obviously my feet were smaller, so while the bindings clicked in, they weren't really on. I got on the lift, and like a minute in one of my skis fell like fifty feet to the ground. I got to ride down on a snowmobile though, which was pretty fun. Only time I've ever been on one.
Nov 10 2014 9:59AM
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aaronreynolds
Posts: 59 - Karma: 28
Last year at Carinthia my friend left his helmet in my car while he went to the Academy. When he was all done he asked me to come unlock it. Now I took my lanyard out of my pocket, then quickly realized it's difficult to unlock a car with mittens on (I have no fob). I decided to put my lanyard in my mouth so I can take my mittens off... In the process of doing so my key swooped around on my lanyard and got stuck to my tongue. Without thinking I decided my best bet was to rip it off... And after that there was a very solid amount of blood flowing out of my tongue. It was gnarly.
Nov 10 2014 10:43AM
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rballs_
Posts: 709 - Karma: 2,991
When I was a mere gaper, I was in Fernie and I crashed and I spent a good hour trying to click into my binding but the heel piece was already up, and I was too gaper to realize it.
Nov 10 2014 11:04AM
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slimeball
Posts: 592 - Karma: 668
Last year i was hitting a mushroom kind of feature and i went way too fast. I got my tips stuck on the mushroom and just flew. It was actually kind of fun until i hit the ground. My friend got it all on tape and it was the funniest clip i have watched of me skiing.
Nov 10 2014 11:25AM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,142
I basically retired from rails after catching my trailing ski on a flat bar mounted up on a spine and Bryan Gallanting down the side of said spine. It was both emotionally and physically painful and my hip has been fucked since.

But least glamorous was the time I was just having fun skiing switch on some groomers at one of the Vancouver local hills, caught an edge but didn't go down ("I CAN SAVE THIS I'M FINE"), veered off where I was going, full speed through an orange fence and down an embankment towards the rental hut. Yeah, I got made fun of for that for a while. But I was fine. I'd much rather be embarrassed than hurt.
Nov 10 2014 11:39AM
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Dan_Frockington
Posts: 52 - Karma: 65
all my goober moments have been on the chairlift. One time my backpack buckle got stuck in an older sketchy chair. When I tried to get off, I got caught by the chair and was dangling by my backpack buckle back down the mountain. Another time i was fucking around, and i caught my tips under the chairlift (really dont know how this happened)... needless to say when the lift started, I got pulled under the chair from my seat, and laughs were had by all.
Nov 10 2014 12:30PM
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percs
Posts: 2280 - Karma: 5,788
kshaughnI think this happened like nine ago in Telluride. I was on a family ski trip and we were making our way back to the hotel at the end of the day on this sweet cat track when I decided to try to be cool and do a bunch of butters. Of course I am going way too fast for this and when I am perpendicular to the trail, I dig my entire ski into the trail and face plant hard. I got a small fracture in my elbow and my goggles broke into my face. I got taken down in a sled and they glued my face shut. I will say that I was back skiing the next day because my parents had already bought me the lift tickets for the week, but it is one of the most embarrassing things ever to get hurt on a green circle.


Same thing happened to me at snow basin. It was a foggy day and I was new to the resort. I was going pretty fast down this steep run. The next thing I know I run straight into a cat track. Knees hit my goggles and the inside of my eye started bleeding. I had this bloodshot on my eye for 2 weeks.
Nov 10 2014 12:46PM
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Gr0mo
Posts: 707 - Karma: 3,663
I think that has happened to all of us.

I did the same thing at powder mountain 3 years ago. Flying down a pow run and hit a catch trail. Knee slams into my face upon impact i see a green flash and the next thing i know I'm on my back sliding completely out of it with blood streaming down my face.
Nov 10 2014 1:00PM
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Gr0mo
Posts: 707 - Karma: 3,663
I think that has happened to all of us.

I did the same thing at powder mountain 3 years ago. Flying down a pow run and hit a catch trail. Knee slams into my face upon impact i see a green flash and the next thing i know I'm on my back sliding completely out of it with blood streaming down my face.
Nov 10 2014 1:00PM
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kim_jong_ill
Posts: 1019 - Karma: 3,147
last season I forgot to turn up my din on opening day and I went into some ungroomed stuff and popped a ski off. I spent a good 15 minutes looking for it
Nov 10 2014 1:04PM
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gapersarefriends
Posts: 2158 - Karma: 4,270
i was at mammoth skiing dave's when i was probably 12 or 13. I thought i was wayyy better than i was and straight lined the bottom of the run, proceeded to hit a few bumps and double eject to tomahawk
Nov 10 2014 1:34PM
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TheUngroomed
Posts: 1251 - Karma: 335
To this day I still fall down in the liftline about once a week.

A couple years ago on opening day we were skiing to the chairlift (first ride up of the season too, so we were pumped) well i forgot to crank up my DINs from being at 0 all summer, i did a little 180 off a bump, double ejected to face, broke one of my brakes, all in front of the liftline... that sucked.

Last season I pussed out on the step up on three kings, so i buttered off the knuckle, landed switch and was riding out when I ate shit and lost basically everything.... definitely one of my better yard sales, and this all happened right under the lift
Nov 10 2014 1:52PM
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