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I just shit my pants at work

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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,356
Not a full on shit though. Ive had stomach pains all morning and was sitting down and tried to fart. The pressure of the seat on my asshole made it hard to get the fart out so i pushed really hard and butt juice dribbled out of my ass. I cant go home just yet to get new undies so i can either toss em or put some toilet paper in em to absorb the juice.

The bad thins is im at work alone and if i toss em and someone notices em in the garbage later they will know it was me. The smell isnt that bad so i think keeping em on and enduring the soggy under pants is my best bet.

What would you do?
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Sep 11 2014 9:40AM
139 7
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Rusticles
Posts: 2180 - Karma: 1,337
Fuck, go to the washroom, clean your pants out, clean your ass crack really well, toss your under out. Wrap them in paper towel of you have to hide them.

Or keep them if they are your favorite ginch
Sep 11 2014 9:48AM
0 0
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juicedrummer11
Posts: 1960 - Karma: 1,331
gotta do both. ditch the undies, clean the crack and use a toilet paper tampon. the only real solution here
Sep 11 2014 9:54AM
2 0
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yelsel
Posts: 12967 - Karma: 3,451
As one of my good friends once said, "never trust a fart". Words of wisdom right there.
Sep 11 2014 10:07AM
9 0
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,492
First things firsts, your name has to go back to el sharto.
Sep 11 2014 10:08AM
37 1
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
yelselAs one of my good friends once said, "never trust a fart". Words of wisdom right there.


woah, you're friends with jack nicholson?
Sep 11 2014 10:13AM
0 0
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toastyteenagers
Posts: 1834 - Karma: 6,793
BAll up and accept your fate
Sep 11 2014 10:39AM
0 2
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24730 - Karma: 30,002
This is why I always have a spare change of 'thunderpants' in the car whenever a situation like this arises.
Sep 11 2014 10:47AM
6 0
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,492
.Hugo.First things firsts, your name has to go back to el sharto.


And you now need a brown name
Sep 11 2014 10:53AM
15 0
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yelsel
Posts: 12967 - Karma: 3,451
DingoSeanThis is why I always have a spare change of 'thunderpants' in the car whenever a situation like this arises.


It happens to you that often Sean?!

Maybe it's time for you to invest in some of these??

Sep 11 2014 11:03AM
6 0
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24730 - Karma: 30,002
yelselIt happens to you that often Sean?!


Yeah I really just need to stop eating so many Tina's Burritos...
Sep 11 2014 11:11AM
2 0
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
Just wear no underwear... seems like a no brainer. I dont know anyone who would want to be wearing shit stained underwear all fucking day.
Sep 11 2014 11:33AM
2 0
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ModMommy
Posts: 10845 - Karma: 57,762
Wrap the underware and toss it. The longer you wear your underware, the worse it's gonna smell. Free ball it today dude.
Sep 11 2014 11:42AM
0 0
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,183
Stuff a bunch of coffee filters down there. They're absorbant.
Sep 11 2014 11:47AM
0 0
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
JAHpowStuff a bunch of coffee filters down there. They're absorbant.


Cofee filters are actually permeable and are really shitty to use as toilet paper. Whenever we run out of that white stuff in my house we resort to cofee filters and it is the fucking blurst.
Sep 11 2014 11:50AM
1 0
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,183
Link.Cofee filters are actually permeable and are really shitty to use as toilet paper. Whenever we run out of that white stuff in my house we resort to cofee filters and it is the fucking blurst.


Scratch that idea then Barto
Sep 11 2014 11:54AM
1 0
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,356
Link.Cofee filters are actually permeable and are really shitty to use as toilet paper. Whenever we run out of that white stuff in my house we resort to cofee filters and it is the fucking blurst.


that is so gnarly. They are so thin lol
Sep 11 2014 11:55AM
2 0
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11989 - Karma: 12,265
If you keep wearing shitty undies then you're gonna get diaper rash. Then you're gonna be paying for it for like the next week
Sep 11 2014 12:08PM
0 0
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,356
So i ended up tossing the undies and going free. Risky move considering another accident would have ruin my pants
Sep 11 2014 6:57PM
1 0
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,358
El_Barto.So i ended up tossing the undies and going free. Risky move considering another accident would have ruin my pants

i really hope you shit your underwearless pants and then have to work whilst pantsless.
Sep 11 2014 6:59PM
4 0
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,356
SFBi really hope you shit your underwearless pants and then have to work whilst pantsless.


Id just turn my shit pants inside out and would be good to go
Sep 11 2014 7:01PM
2 0
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,358
El_Barto.Id just turn my shit pants inside out and would be good to go

what if you shat them a third time?
Sep 11 2014 7:03PM
1 0
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bakedpow
Posts: 8770 - Karma: 10,467
SFBi really hope you shit your underwearless pants and then have to work whilst pantsless.


just change it to one of those bikini barista places except its a dude pantless frothing drinks with his junk.
Sep 11 2014 7:03PM
3 0
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37817 - Karma: 125,773
ooh, risky move with going commando. your ass/balls typically get more sweaty without any moisture-wicking fabric there. hope you wiped good, swamp ass would be detrimental to you in a situation like that. that and a firey asshole rash would make sitting down difficult
Sep 11 2014 7:18PM
1 0
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,356
SFBwhat if you shat them a third time?


Id put em on upside down
Sep 11 2014 7:28PM
0 0
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Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128
El_Barto.Id put em on upside down


Like assless chaps tied together at the feet? Not going to lie I kind of want to try this and see how it works out.
Sep 11 2014 7:41PM
3 0
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cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
.Hugo.First things firsts, your name has to go back to el sharto.


.Hugo.And you now need a brown name


hugo's killing it

i sharted at work once and went the commando route. it was at our office and all the trash cans are exposed so trash wasnt an option. i stashed it in the back of my truck hidden under the toolbox until the end of the day. barto i realize your shituation is resolved but thought i would share in case someone else needed the information in the future
Sep 11 2014 8:06PM
1 0
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Dolan.Escobar
Posts: 683 - Karma: 943
In the godfather part one vito corleone said aman that has never shit his pants can never be a real man

I think thats what he said. Notwithstanding i agree whole heartedly
Sep 12 2014 12:02AM
0 0
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
El_sharto
Sep 12 2014 12:41AM
1 3
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,492
KrazyistKarlEl_sharto


Wow what an original idea!
Sep 12 2014 7:27AM
7 0
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yung-lean
Posts: 511 - Karma: 2,447
Go the fuck home.
Sep 15 2014 10:24PM
0 0
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Wampire
Posts: 1217 - Karma: 4,685
I would just poop everywhere in your work and blame it on some homeless guy
Sep 15 2014 10:29PM
0 0
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skiersupreme
Posts: 1549 - Karma: 4,872
tell your boss and show him your shit covered underwear. bosses look for honesty. expect a promotion for this
Sep 15 2014 11:18PM
1 0
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