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June, 2025

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Doctor says I need a Stool Sample, What should I eat?

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PM4FreeJiberish
Posts: 447 - Karma: 3,533
Oh btw the cup is super small and the nurse told me to "just aim"
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11 years ago
58 5
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DrewPeacock
Posts: 1003 - Karma: 1,763
ok
11 years ago
4 0
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Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128
print this out, fold it up and put it in the container.
11 years ago
15 0
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Randel
Posts: 123 - Karma: 178
Lucky Charms
11 years ago
0 0
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op14
Posts: 1769 - Karma: 4,586
Buffalo chicken mozzarella sticks. Just ate them and am currently typing this from the shitter. My butthole is enflamed but it was worth it.
11 years ago
3 0
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ZachAndCheese
Posts: 816 - Karma: 5,116
Just go to a traditional chinese or taiwanese food. Order all the foods that you can't pronounce and there's a good chance that your doctor may be able to still find them in your sample!
11 years ago
0 0
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,136
SkrewsOh btw the cup is super small and the nurse told me to "just aim"


the nurse is wrong about just aiming, that would be disgusting. You are meant to cover the toilet in Saran wrap, but let it droop enough not to make a mess, then with the little spoon attached scoop some in. No, i am not bullshitting either you are meant to do it this way to avoid any contamination from bacteria in the toilet.


or you could just scoop in some dog poop and see what the doctor says, that would way funnier
11 years ago
2 1
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BeefiestExpert
Posts: 2804 - Karma: 3,277
Eat nails and hopefully they come out ok..... Surely it will get the doctors attention
11 years ago
0 0
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Lemuel
Posts: 14544 - Karma: 11,158
Corn. Lots and lots of corn and only corn for about 48 hours before hand.
11 years ago
7 0
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Daski
Posts: 660 - Karma: 2,396
Lots of corn and lots of coins
11 years ago
3 0
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,975
Taco bell, chicken wings and beans.
11 years ago
0 0
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spaceghostpurp
Posts: 249 - Karma: 835
too bad big blacks dump truck wasnt still in buisness.
^fantasy factory reference
11 years ago
2 1
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DENIM_CHICKEN
Posts: 526 - Karma: 2,558
Anything that will show up whole in your shit (corn, pop jellybeans like pills, metallic objects, dildos, etc.)
11 years ago
2 0
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yangumane
Posts: 1816 - Karma: 3,349
spaceghostpurptoo bad big blacks dump truck wasnt still in buisness.
^fantasy factory reference


Lol !!!!
11 years ago
0 0
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reBlocke
Posts: 762 - Karma: 1,502
You really think your taco bell shit is going to gross your nurse/doc out? They probably just got done draining fecal pus mix from the perianal abscess of some 65 year old morbidly obese woman. Good luck...
11 years ago
2 0
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skiersupreme
Posts: 1549 - Karma: 4,872
glass and taco bell
11 years ago
0 0
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Mixy
Posts: 8358 - Karma: 50,514
cashews

only cashews
11 years ago
1 0
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1337
Posts: 31080 - Karma: 29,700
1337cashews

only cashews

corn

only corn
http://youtu.be/thTh0w5hjkg
11 years ago
1 0
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treetrunks
Posts: 33 - Karma: 203
My doctor said I need a stool sample too
11 years ago
1 0
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,494
Shit, then eat your shit and shit again. Or better yet eat my shit
11 years ago
0 0
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CitizenKane
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 22,498
a shit ton of food coloring
11 years ago
3 0
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,366
plastic bags
11 years ago
2 0
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
Dildos. Only Dildos
11 years ago
0 0
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backseat.bandit
Posts: 142 - Karma: 787
Get dog shit from local park to blow his lab assistant's mind
11 years ago
0 0
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seward
Posts: 5233 - Karma: 2,174
lol.

op has aids and doesnt know it yet
11 years ago
0 0
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galaxia
Posts: 307 - Karma: 697
beets
11 years ago
0 0
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CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,906
galaxiabeets


lots and lots of beets. shit bright red goodness.
11 years ago
1 0
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b-kul
Posts: 4350 - Karma: 1,111
why are you trying to mess around with this? obviously you need this for a reason, why fuck around with your health to try and get some internet lols?
11 years ago
0 0
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CaptainObvious.
Posts: 5713 - Karma: 20,652
galaxiabeets


And pesto.

Eat a beet and pesto diet for three days straight. Go into that bitch and shit christmas in a cup.

And dress like santa when you go to give your sample.
11 years ago
1 0
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TinyTigers
Posts: 484 - Karma: 213
Take vicodin or something that makes you really constipated and eat everything. X-lax after a week should do the trick.
11 years ago
0 0
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dingus
Posts: 1328 - Karma: 7,879
eat exactly 3 marjuanas
11 years ago
0 2
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AT-AT
Posts: 3281 - Karma: 3,258
Just did one. They are nothing special.
11 years ago
0 0
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Dolan.Escobar
Posts: 683 - Karma: 943
Eat a big mac. Poop it out, eat the poop.
Your next poo will be an intact big mac
11 years ago
0 0
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Crispy.
Posts: 6127 - Karma: 7,764
cool_namethe nurse is wrong about just aiming, that would be disgusting. You are meant to cover the toilet in Saran wrap, but let it droop enough not to make a mess, then with the little spoon attached scoop some in. No, i am not bullshitting either you are meant to do it this way to avoid any contamination from bacteria in the toilet.


I was really sick earlier in the year and had to do stool samples. Unless you go to a piece of shit hospital, they should give you something that goes below the seat that you shit into. From there you scoop it into the sample.
11 years ago
0 0
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,860
Coming from a former CNA, no matter how gross you think your poop is it won't gross your nurse. My coworkers and I would talk about where to grab lunch while wiping up massive black shit, yes black, from some old dude's ass/genitals/everywhere.
11 years ago
0 0
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Dolan.Escobar
Posts: 683 - Karma: 943
^damn. I dont know if i could get used to that
11 years ago
0 0
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