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Christian Anti-Masturbation Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation

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Japaneezy
Posts: 1039 - Karma: 4,267
How ironic. And since when does masturbation do any harm? JEEZUZ CHRIST



http://nationalreport.net/fappy-the-dolphin-arrested-for-public-masturbation/
Jul 9 2014 8:36AM
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Japaneezy
Posts: 1039 - Karma: 4,267
"I have activated my prayer app and I ask each and every one of you to keep Fappy in your prayers until this incident is resolved. Hail Fappy!"

Jul 9 2014 8:39AM
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ndye
Posts: 3756 - Karma: 7,094
"Fappy" an anti fap dolphin? Seems legit
Jul 9 2014 8:40AM
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bfulmer
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 1,975
ndye"Fappy" an anti fap dolphin? Seems legit


hahahahaha I want to believe Nate stop ruining it
Jul 9 2014 9:21AM
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spaceghostpurp
Posts: 249 - Karma: 835
Why do people care if kids jack off?
Jul 9 2014 9:33AM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,485
spaceghostpurpWhy do people care if kids jack off?


You can get your hand pregnant
Jul 9 2014 9:34AM
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las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455


Isn't it funny how the religious who are always first to condemn sexual acts are themselves the ones who are the most obsessed with sex
Jul 9 2014 11:03AM
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Jeebus.
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 5,822
Tom Downey with the Phoenix Police Department, who took Horner into custody, spoke with Arizona news station ABC 15 about the arrest. "We thought at first he was possibly intoxicated or mentally unstable, ya know, talking about children and how deadly it is for them to masturbate. Telling us he was in town with a Christian organization aimed at talking with children about the dangers of masturbation. Saying things like, 'They need to stop playing on the Devil's playground, stop pounding their Devil stick or ringing the Devil's doorbell'," Downey said. "Things got very odd when Horner broke down crying in the back of my cruiser and began making noises, kind of like a fish, saying that he believed himself to be an actual dolphin. It was really strange."




……. wot
Jul 9 2014 11:11AM
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montanan
Posts: 1787 - Karma: 1,346
The referenced post has been removed.


that is fucked up. that shit is torture. what the fuck.....
Jul 9 2014 12:53PM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18221 - Karma: 12,321
The Bible says nothing at all about masturbation. It's not a sin to masturbate lol....
Jul 9 2014 1:31PM
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DockEllis
Posts: 1131 - Karma: 1,745
montananthat is fucked up. that shit is torture. what the fuck.....


No chance that is real
Jul 9 2014 2:18PM
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skiersupreme
Posts: 1549 - Karma: 4,872
The referenced post has been removed.


"self raping"
Jul 9 2014 3:08PM
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Holte
Posts: 10740 - Karma: 7,814
Hey guys. It's a satire website. Not real. Sorry.
Jul 9 2014 7:08PM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18221 - Karma: 12,321
The referenced post has been removed.


Lol real funny..

All jokes aside what I said was 100% correct, soooo FRIG OFF LAHEY.
Jul 9 2014 7:19PM
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las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
.frenchyIt's not a sin to masturbate lol....


The catholic church would say otherwise
Jul 9 2014 8:12PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
.frenchyThe Bible says nothing at all about masturbation. It's not a sin to masturbate lol....


Doesn't say anything about rape either.
Jul 9 2014 8:18PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
zzzskizzzDoesn't say anything about rape either.


Exactly. Who ever said rape was a bad thing?
Jul 9 2014 8:23PM
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las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
zzzskizzzDoesn't say anything about rape either.


Or homosexuality
Jul 9 2014 8:29PM
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.FRY.
Posts: 5620 - Karma: 22,861
zzzskizzzDoesn't say anything about rape either.


hope it doesn't say anything about incest...
Jul 9 2014 8:31PM
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las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
zzzskizzzDoesn't say anything about rape either.


There are actually parts in the bible not just condoning, but promoting rape, funnily enough
Jul 9 2014 8:33PM
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las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
.FRY.hope it doesn't say anything about incest...


2 Kings 13:1-14 http://www.drbo.org/chapter/10013.htm

Incestuous rape
Jul 9 2014 8:37PM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18221 - Karma: 12,321
las.The catholic church would say otherwise


There is NOTHING in the Bible saying that masturbation is a sin.

The referenced post has been removed.


What? I'm aware you have to be a virgin to be a church leader. Fapping doesn't mean you lose your virginity.



Masturbation can help you find sexual release when you cannot control your desire nor satisfy it through a marital relationship and in this sense it can be helpful. Screw off. And Fuck you zzzskizz you're atheist so stop assuming you know anything. I'm a confirmed roman catholic, I think I might know a little more than you there guy.


Bring on the hate.
Jul 9 2014 8:38PM
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las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
.frenchyThere is NOTHING in the Bible saying that masturbation is a sin.



What? I'm aware you have to be a virgin to be a church leader. Fapping doesn't mean you lose your virginity.



Masturbation can help you find sexual release when you cannot control your desire nor satisfy it through a marital relationship and in this sense it can be helpful. Screw off. And Fuck you zzzskizz you're atheist so stop assuming you know anything. I'm a confirmed roman catholic, I think I might know a little more than you there guy.


Bring on the hate.


I know. Notice how I said The Catholic Church? But wait, isn't the Vatican/Catholic Church supposed to directly preach God's word, considering the Pope is his holy translator? A lot of inconsistencies here - is masturbation a sin or not?

Also, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/8030672/US-atheists-know-more-about-religion-than-believers-quiz-finds.html
Jul 9 2014 8:49PM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18221 - Karma: 12,321
Dude, there is not one thing in the holy bible that even talks about masturbation. this is not even an argument lol.
Jul 9 2014 8:52PM
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crotchvent
Posts: 1527 - Karma: 2,184
.Hugo.You can get your hand pregnant


Seriously how can the go against masturbating. How do they think the Virgin Mary got pregnant.
Jul 9 2014 8:53PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
.frenchyThere is NOTHING in the Bible saying that masturbation is a sin.



What? I'm aware you have to be a virgin to be a church leader. Fapping doesn't mean you lose your virginity.



Masturbation can help you find sexual release when you cannot control your desire nor satisfy it through a marital relationship and in this sense it can be helpful. Screw off. And Fuck you zzzskizz you're atheist so stop assuming you know anything. I'm a confirmed roman catholic, I think I might know a little more than you there guy.


Bring on the hate.


I was baptized, and went to church for the first 15 years of my life. my favorite passage of the Bible is ezekiel 23:20, and as someone who's looked at both sides with an unbiased view. I'd say I'm probably more level headed and more versed in this than you are.
Jul 9 2014 9:17PM
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AT-AT
Posts: 3281 - Karma: 3,256


but really, why is this shit federally funded. It's bad enough people are this crazy, but to have us pay for this nut job to go on a "31-city nationwide school tour" is absolutely ridiculous.
Jul 9 2014 9:18PM
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las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
.frenchyDude, there is not one thing in the holy bible that even talks about masturbation. this is not even an argument lol.


I know, you half-wit. How can you not understand what I'm getting at. God/Bible doesn't mention masturbation, therefore it can't officially be considered sinful; Catholic church does regard it as sinful though. SO, is it sinful, or not?
Jul 9 2014 9:21PM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18221 - Karma: 12,321
las.I know, you half-wit. How can you not understand what I'm getting at. God/Bible doesn't mention masturbation, therefore it can't officially be considered sinful; Catholic church does regard it as sinful though. SO, is it sinful, or not?


No, it's not.


The Bible > Pope.

And i'm aware the Catholic church says it's a sin. But many Catholics do disagree with that. I don't really see how it's sinning but whatever.
Jul 9 2014 9:25PM
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las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
.frenchyNo, it's not.


The Bible > Pope.

And i'm aware the Catholic church says it's a sin. But many Catholics do disagree with that. I don't really see how it's sinning but whatever.


But the Pope, thus the Catholic Church, claims to be God's holy messenger and translator.
So either the Bible is false and it's not actually the word of God, or the Pope, who is the head of your church, is lying.
Which one is it? Again, inconsistencies
Jul 9 2014 9:40PM
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.FRY.
Posts: 5620 - Karma: 22,861
Jul 10 2014 11:05PM
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AT-AT
Posts: 3281 - Karma: 3,256
So is someone's spelling ^
Jul 11 2014 8:57AM
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skier58284
Posts: 1705 - Karma: 5,365
>“Things got very odd when Horner broke down crying in the back of my cruiser and began making noises, kind of like a fish, saying that he believed himself to be an actual dolphin. It was really strange.”

This is fake, right?
Jul 11 2014 6:36PM
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