Replying to Dont know where to go with my addiction...

Good evening everyone I don't know where to go with my addiction. Every night I try to sit down and relax, but one thing is always on my mind. The constant urge is ruining my life. Realizing how much my life has been broken by this makes everything worse. Everyone around me has given up. Knowingly I tried to change myself for the betterment of not only for I, but friends and family. This is why I need help from people that won't judge me. My conscience is slipping away and i need help! 8 times I've thought about ending it all.

My addiction? Read the first letter/number of each sentence