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November, 2024

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Shit That Would Never Happen

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G_B
Posts: 786 - Karma: 3,006
So because of the predictions thread, I decided there should be a thread about things that would never happen. Post yours. Here are mine.

Tom Wallisch recently gained an endorsement deal from Head and Shoulders, and their new shampoo and conditioner line, "luxurious locks". In other news, Tom has been faking his hair loss to show children why having a full head of hair is cool.

OP gets laid.
Jun 11 2014 10:40PM
1311 46
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caderobinson
Posts: 1193 - Karma: 4,770
Steve stept becomes pro
Jun 12 2014 7:50AM
77 1
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Mackenzyquinton
Posts: 9 - Karma: 49
Harlaut gets a buzzer
Jun 12 2014 8:02AM
40 1
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ANDR01D
Posts: 1181 - Karma: 3,319
Jason Levinthal personally teaches me the ski design and manufacturing process.
Jun 12 2014 8:07AM
32 0
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slav_slayer
Posts: 476 - Karma: 1,821
Jumps that boot someone into low earth orbit
Jun 12 2014 8:27AM
29 0
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,345
Someone parties with Clark~G
Jun 12 2014 9:41AM
34 2
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,664
All skiers stop smoking and drinking and convert to Mormonism and drink Capri sun and smoke organic vegetables instead
Jun 12 2014 10:01AM
75 1
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steezyjibber
Posts: 15967 - Karma: 11,026
why did all the first posts get deleted?
Jun 12 2014 10:37AM
22 2
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Phatty-J
Posts: 20 - Karma: 53
the vikings win the Super Bowl
Jun 12 2014 10:48AM
33 1
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LastChairMedia
Posts: 860 - Karma: 1,855
caderobinsonSteve stept becomes pro


.
Jun 12 2014 11:01AM
5 3
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lurking
Posts: 2222 - Karma: 6,788
A rail is put on Chads Gap and hit successfully
Jun 12 2014 11:08AM
63 0
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Julius_Steezer
Posts: 776 - Karma: 4,536
Gus admits to getting with Miley c
Jun 12 2014 11:43AM
52 0
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G_B
Posts: 786 - Karma: 3,006
Chads gap blows ski patrol up.

Henrik admits that his dreads were really just a wig, and he suffers from the same condition as Wallisch, "Severe Hair Loss"
Jun 12 2014 11:50AM
59 1
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brobama
Posts: 58 - Karma: 356
Tanner Hall stops raging in caps
Jun 12 2014 11:51AM
59 1
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avgvstynovich
Posts: 155 - Karma: 6,825
day without thinking of skiing, day without NS
Jun 12 2014 11:59AM
24 0
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,978
OP having the same signature as me..... oh wait
Jun 12 2014 11:59AM
12 0
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Alexhiglo
Posts: 260 - Karma: 1,083
Goepper gets pants that are long enough
Jun 12 2014 12:23PM
37 1
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frickindarn
Posts: 2545 - Karma: 11,371
Tanner hall stops smoking weed.
Jun 12 2014 12:45PM
15 3
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,978
Edollo cleans the broken egg out of his snowpants from the olympics
Jun 12 2014 12:47PM
41 1
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grol
Posts: 77 - Karma: 459
new TC van is an escalade

Lj is rich
Jun 12 2014 1:02PM
37 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 51738 - Karma: 163,438
I go pro. Oh wait, that's already happening.


I'm the best skier on the mountain.
Jun 12 2014 1:11PM
20 3
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steezewonton
Posts: 405 - Karma: 924
Kids stop launching off the side of rail lead up ramps haha
Jun 12 2014 1:28PM
11 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 51738 - Karma: 163,438
sjantonKids stop launching off the side of rail lead up ramps haha


If only. Thinking of chaining lions on both sides of the rails. As long as you hit the rail you're safe but if you cut to the side you'll get eaten.

It's still in the brainstorming stages.
Jun 12 2014 1:40PM
36 0
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Alvaro
Posts: 323 - Karma: 2,066
chug life 16
Jun 12 2014 1:43PM
45 0
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
Alvarochug life 16


if only though..
Jun 12 2014 1:58PM
9 0
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Hughes
Posts: 1023 - Karma: 941
next friday
Jun 12 2014 2:50PM
27 0
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hippy.
Posts: 3106 - Karma: 14,364
theabortionatorI'm the best skier on the mountain.

LIES LIES LIES LIES you aren't the best skier on the mountain, you snowboard!!!!!!!!!!
Jun 12 2014 3:01PM
14 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 51738 - Karma: 163,438
hippy.LIES LIES LIES LIES you aren't the best skier on the mountain, you snowboard!!!!!!!!!!


Look at these skills bro. So fearless and steezy.

http://media.newschoolers.com/uploads/images/17/00/45/78/89/457889.jpeg&size=994x662
Jun 12 2014 3:46PM
14 0
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Nacho+
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 7,791
jiblife is released
Jun 12 2014 3:56PM
14 0
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integrated
Posts: 527 - Karma: 749
Hughesnext friday

yup
Jun 12 2014 4:14PM
2 0
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BigScaryLarry
Posts: 1448 - Karma: 2,732
its released that bobby brown is actually a robot and the creator jumps off the golden gate bridge after releasing that he created geopper and kenworthy as well
Jun 12 2014 4:15PM
4 1
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Steamboiz
Posts: 343 - Karma: 2,525
Freeskiing becomes a billion dollar industry
Jun 12 2014 4:16PM
6 0
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J_Berg
Posts: 562 - Karma: 2,031
Andy Parry Wins X games gold. Will Wesson Starts up real railz. An olympic event in which there is a course of only rails to hit
Jun 12 2014 4:18PM
16 0
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integrated
Posts: 527 - Karma: 749
Jiberish becomes affordable

kids stop applying to colleges in Utah
Jun 12 2014 4:20PM
21 0
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Atomika09
Posts: 104 - Karma: 746
Blae Slopestyle, superpipe and Big Air have been added to the winter polympics!

EA Games teams up with Vail to re-brand and design Park city around their awesome franchise SSX.
Jun 12 2014 4:46PM
5 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 51738 - Karma: 163,438
Skate 4 comes out and when you beat the game there's an option to turn the ramps to snow and ski/snerrberrd.

But seriously I'll just settle for another skate. PLEASE GOD
Jun 12 2014 5:02PM
13 0
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,978
Real skifi stops being creative
Jun 12 2014 5:04PM
9 0
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hippy.
Posts: 3106 - Karma: 14,364
theabortionatorSkate 4 comes out and when you beat the game there's an option to turn the ramps to snow and ski/snerrberrd.

But seriously I'll just settle for another skate. PLEASE GOD

im beginning to like you a little bit more each day! you got xbox?
Jun 12 2014 5:05PM
1 1
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.FRY.
Posts: 5620 - Karma: 22,861
phil doubles
Jun 12 2014 5:06PM
4 16
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Jeroen13
Posts: 67 - Karma: 231
Madi Jones getting sponsored by Vertical Drop
Jun 12 2014 5:14PM
32 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 51738 - Karma: 163,438
hippy.im beginning to like you a little bit more each day! you got xbox?


LIEK DUH BRO!

FLUFFHEADDD on xbl


I can't really play video games for a while cause my head is super fucked up. If you can look at my parks through xbox I have a couple pretty beastly skateparks. Warehouse 49 or something like that is super ridiculous.
Jun 12 2014 5:33PM
1 0
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dropinoutofschol
Posts: 265 - Karma: 905
Henrik Harlaut starts wearing a belt
Jun 12 2014 6:14PM
1 0
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gerptrumpitsniff
Posts: 15 - Karma: 233
joopsegalphil doubles

Where have you been the last two years??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoycchXZNEo
Jun 12 2014 6:16PM
4 0
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elinde
Posts: 1470 - Karma: 3,059
joopsegalphil doubles


Phil has done multiple dubs.
Jun 12 2014 6:18PM
2 0
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caderobinson
Posts: 1193 - Karma: 4,770
ehv gets a six-pack
Jun 12 2014 6:59PM
13 0
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brewernovascotia
Posts: 293 - Karma: 408
brobamaTanner Hall stops raging in caps


.
Jun 12 2014 7:57PM
1 0
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Erikgorn
Posts: 369 - Karma: 1,844
Tanner Hall drink red bull....
Jun 12 2014 7:57PM
2 0
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skiersupreme
Posts: 1549 - Karma: 4,872
Jeroen13Madi Jones getting sponsored by Vertical Drop

a video of maid jones actually skiing is released
Jun 12 2014 8:08PM
4 0
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Cricky
Posts: 162 - Karma: 312
ehv lands a rodeo
Jun 12 2014 8:19PM
11 0
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dtwizzle
Posts: 233 - Karma: 1,951
Tanner passes a drug test
Jun 12 2014 8:50PM
12 0
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