Member of the Month

X_MEMESWERVE_XX
March, 2025

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

I really need some advice right now

profile picture
Shredsterr
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 6,930
So I'll start the story by saying I had just eaten a Turkey Bacon Ranch sub stuffed full and toasted from Subway, followed by some left over steak when I got home. About an hour later, I was feeling the need to profusely jettison my bowels, and did just that. 10 minutes later, with a clean colon, I decided to look down, and saw five huge (and I mean huge) light brown turds sitting in the bottom of the bowl. I thought, "well shit I'm gonna snapchat this to my friend, because that was potentially the biggest shit of my life as I don't want it to be a wasted opportunity." So I write the caption "just one of those shits," and being that my friends name begins with an "m," I scroll down to the M section in my snapchat contacts, click it, and push send.


Fast forward 15 minutes, wondering if he opened it, and HOLY FUCKING SHIT I SENT IT TO THE GIRL IVE HAD A CRUSH ON FOR 2 MONTHS. AHHHHHH. And to make matters worse she opened it! Fuck! So I send another snap, saying something along the lines of "I'm soooooo sorry! Wrong person!" And she opened it and didn't respond, which is expected as she just found out what the fuck my digested food looks like, and probably isn't in the mood for a conversation right now.

Now, this super hot, athletic, awesome girl that I thought I may have had a chance with, and sit beside in TWO FUCKING CLASSES is going to have the image of my bigass dump seared into her eyes everytime she looks at me from now on until the end of the next millennia.

So basically NS, I done fucked up, and I have no god damn idea what to do, does any body have advice?
11 years ago
186 47
profile picture
LoathesRaisins
Posts: 3612 - Karma: 4,735
Tell her your brother did it.
11 years ago
17 0
profile picture
maximiliaan
Posts: 7711 - Karma: 2,857
Why didnt you share the turd with us? Are we not good enough for you?
11 years ago
22 0
profile picture
Abc567def
Posts: 8756 - Karma: 802
Roses are red
violets are blue
what did you think
when I snapchatted my poo?
11 years ago
28 0
profile picture
Calb3rt
Posts: 6005 - Karma: 2,202
obviously the most logical thing to do is to put laxatives in her food and wait until her bowels dance and ask her if she wants to compare pictures.
11 years ago
0 2
profile picture
.MASSHOLE.
Posts: 7568 - Karma: 12,565
I can related.

Similar story. So there is this girl I have had a crush on since Freshman year of college (3+ years) and she is an absolute bombshell. Killer body, and I mean absolutely KILLER, awesome smile, really fun to be around, an all around good person. So we got to know each other pretty well through working on projects, studying together, texting, etc. I tell my brother about this girl, so obviously whenever I see her I always make a comment about her to him.

Anyways, fast forward to this past year and I dont see her as much which is unfortunate. So, one random day at the gym, I see this girl, and she is looking fantastic. She and I talk for a bit, and we go our separate ways. So I instantly go to snapchat my brother, being like holy shit I just saw M. and her tits were looking fantastic. Well, somehow I went to M instead of H and sent it to her. I FREAKED the fuck out. How the hell was I supposed to come back from this? I instantly sent one apologizing saying how embarrassed I was and all that. Well, she opened it, and 5 seconds after and sent two snapchats. She just straight up laughed at me. She thought it was the funniest shit she had seen in a while, especially after she realized it wasnt supposed to go to her. Needless to say, I havent heard the end of it since.

So OP, my advice, just play it off. If you are good enough friends with her it should be OK. If you are not, hope to god she has a sense of humor.
11 years ago
3 0
profile picture
Phooka
Posts: 99 - Karma: 843
In the words of Frank Herbert; “There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”

I think that applies pretty well to you
11 years ago
3 0
profile picture
Mingg
Posts: 14028 - Karma: 50,435
Oh man...I think you've reached the point of no return...just deny that it was you if she asks and blame it on your friends or something.
11 years ago
2 0
profile picture
270on420out
Posts: 7522 - Karma: 51,282
Put said fecal material in a bag and share it with her.
11 years ago
0 1
profile picture
soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
Blame it on the dog?
11 years ago
1 1
profile picture
frickindarn
Posts: 2545 - Karma: 11,371
Not as bad as when you try and send dick pics to Monica and accidentally select mom.
11 years ago
2 0
profile picture
TOAST.
Posts: 7708 - Karma: 39,107
You're one of those people, glad this happened to you.
11 years ago
4 0
profile picture
uyghur
Posts: 993 - Karma: 2,028
steezeeepolizeeeRoses are red
violets are blue
what did you think
when I snapchatted my poo?


This is the obvious solution to the problem.
11 years ago
2 0
profile picture
HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,683
Op is gay: story is irrelevant
11 years ago
3 5
profile picture
Shredsterr
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 6,930
Fuuuuuuuck she's still not replying I think I blew it
11 years ago
5 0
profile picture
Abc567def
Posts: 8756 - Karma: 802
ShredsterrFuuuuuuuck she's still not replying I think I blew it


What would you do if she snap chatted a picture of her shit back to you?

would it make it better, ruin everything or option three and my favorite....make room for your pee?
11 years ago
10 0
profile picture
ModMommy
Posts: 10864 - Karma: 58,037
ShredsterrFuuuuuuuck she's still not replying I think I blew it


You're done for son
11 years ago
1 0
profile picture
CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
ShredsterrFuuuuuuuck she's still not replying I think I blew it


What guy hasn't taken a picture of their dump before? If she really thinks you're that weird because of it she probably isn't the type of girl for you anyway (at least that'd be true for me). If she even likes you a little bit she'll let it slide and hopefully be able to laugh it off. If she does end up laughing it off, then your chances of getting with her should be much higher because that's a sign that she's probably into you.

But if it doesn't work out, it's just a crush. Everybody has them and everybody misses chances. A couple weeks from now you'll be laughing about this.
11 years ago
0 1
profile picture
Milhouse
Posts: 328 - Karma: 1,380
send her a picture of your dick
11 years ago
4 2
profile picture
acualywasdolan
Posts: 1172 - Karma: -747
Just tell her you wanted to show what a man u r
11 years ago
0 4
profile picture
erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,329
ShredsterrI think I blew it


No fucking "shit"
11 years ago
1 1
profile picture
Abu_Hajaar
Posts: 2751 - Karma: 3,908
Looks to me like you should just kill yourself
11 years ago
3 1
profile picture
SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,362
you need to keep sending her snaps of your poop, eventually she will be desensitized to your enormous shits and think that its normal.
11 years ago
7 0
profile picture
acualywasdolan
Posts: 1172 - Karma: -747
Nice sfb...
11 years ago
1 5
profile picture
Swaggermager
Posts: 2576 - Karma: 950
Bring her some roses with a boombox playing "roses" by Outkast playing.
"roses really smell like poo poo poo"
11 years ago
1 1
profile picture
Milhouse
Posts: 328 - Karma: 1,380
The referenced post has been removed.



fuck
11 years ago
0 2
profile picture
jpastor
Posts: 431 - Karma: 848
IN TWO FUCKING CLASSES

you must be at least 14
11 years ago
7 0
profile picture
TheGreenBastard
Posts: 215 - Karma: 135
if this chick doesn't like a good ole' snap scat she's probly a total lesbonaut
11 years ago
2 0
profile picture
twin-tip-hero
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 277
ahhh snapcraps. soooo funny, but if sent to the wrong person so devastating
11 years ago
0 0
profile picture
SquattingDog
Posts: 196 - Karma: 393
Where the turds shaped in a heart? OP maybe you have a chance.
11 years ago
0 0
profile picture
Toaster-Tony
Posts: 3531 - Karma: 5,850
CheddarJackWhat guy hasn't taken a picture of their dump before? If she really thinks you're that weird because of it she probably isn't the type of girl for you anyway (at least that'd be true for me). If she even likes you a little bit she'll let it slide and hopefully be able to laugh it off. If she does end up laughing it off, then your chances of getting with her should be much higher because that's a sign that she's probably into you.

But if it doesn't work out, it's just a crush. Everybody has them and everybody misses chances. A couple weeks from now you'll be laughing about this.


Nah man. Sending a pic of your massive shit never really gets you anywhere with the ladies, no matter how tastefully it was taken.

At this point OP should just own up to it because still being able to claim that massive shit is better than losing the girl AND saying the poop was someone else's. At least walk away with something.
11 years ago
0 0
profile picture
milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,975
That really sucks dude, maybe she'll look past it


I had a good laugh though
11 years ago
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
Shit happens...































...to end up on her snapchat.
11 years ago
3 0
profile picture
theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,634
You have to one up a poop pic so she sees you and thinks of that instead of poop. Send her a dick pick. She will then think of your dick instead of your poop.
11 years ago
0 0
profile picture
Shredsterr
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 6,930
The referenced post has been removed.


K I'm gonna go into the bathroom at schoo and send her one. i hope this works
11 years ago
2 0
profile picture
.Rybak.
Posts: 9017 - Karma: 9,869
Send a butthole pic. Dick pics are overrated.
11 years ago
2 0
profile picture
remove
Posts: 2566 - Karma: 1,026
True love is sharing photos of your bowel movements. if she can't understand that, it wasn't ever meant to be
11 years ago
0 0
profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128
not that bad. I got drunk one night and sent a video of my dog pooping right out of his butt to almost everyone on my snap list(even my GF and a bunch of other girls). You're fine.

This thread just made me realise how normal me and my friends really are. We used to send picture messages before there was snapchat. It got to a point where almost everyone wouldn't open up pictures me and another one of my buddies would send.

I still to this day Haven't been able to top the one poop I had one day though. There were three poops in the toilet and they resembled a smiley face. Nothing makes your day brighter after taking a poop and it's smiling back up at you.
11 years ago
6 0
profile picture
TheGreenBastard
Posts: 215 - Karma: 135
hahaha, this kids gettin pulled for sexual harassment right now, u know it
11 years ago
1 0
profile picture
robotdna
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 2,959
Easy and guaranteed: Tell her someone else, such as your brother, got a hold of your phone and sent it out. She'll understand.
11 years ago
1 0
profile picture
Mixy
Posts: 8350 - Karma: 50,278
At least its not a dick pic to your dad
11 years ago
0 0
profile picture
Pigeon.
Posts: 2367 - Karma: 3,998
she was not pleased with the caliber of your dump. try again, this time with taco bell and laxatives.
11 years ago
0 0
profile picture
.undetected
Posts: 1076 - Karma: -445
SFByou need to keep sending her snaps of your poop, eventually she will be desensitized to your enormous shits and think that its normal.


So crazy, "It just might work!"
11 years ago
0 0
profile picture
stickski
Posts: 1938 - Karma: 1,529
LE.Skiingnot that bad. I got drunk one night and sent a video of my dog pooping right out of his butt to almost everyone on my snap list(even my GF and a bunch of other girls). You're fine.

This thread just made me realise how normal me and my friends really are. We used to send picture messages before there was snapchat. It got to a point where almost everyone wouldn't open up pictures me and another one of my buddies would send.

I still to this day Haven't been able to top the one poop I had one day though. There were three poops in the toilet and they resembled a smiley face. Nothing makes your day brighter after taking a poop and it's smiling back up at you.


Hahaha yes, the picture messages before snapchat, such nostalgia. There was a time in life when the only pictures on my friend's phone were pictures of dumps haha good times.
11 years ago
0 0
profile picture
RockNRollNghtClb
Posts: 2013 - Karma: 2,509
if a girl wont be wtih you because you accidentally snapped her a pic of your shit then that girls probably not worth it. Just stop messaging her, give it some time and laugh it off, everyone shits. We are all human
11 years ago
2 0
profile picture
WPoch
Posts: 1762 - Karma: 3,885
snapchat a picture of a larger poop to impress her even more. She will acknowledge you as the dominate species and submit you your power.
11 years ago
1 0
profile picture
acualywasdolan
Posts: 1172 - Karma: -747
Tell her youre into space docking, and your just giving her a taste to see if shes down
11 years ago
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4); Currently it's 8:54PM