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School/Public Bathroom Etiquette

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Phooka
Posts: 99 - Karma: 843
If you go into a bathroom looking to shit, you want an empty bathroom, if someone is in said bathroom occupying a stall don't pretend to blow your nose, wash your hands or what have you, leave. Know that if you were in there position they would want you gone.

If you go into the bathroom to wiz, and someone is in a stall, hurry and wiz. Then leave. Don't talk to anyone and don't wash your hands. Just know that if you were in that stall you would the person coming in to leave ASAP.

If you find yourself in a stall, only to have someone enter the stall adjacent to you, this is a phenomenon known as quantum lock, you are not responsible for this, and have the restroom right of way. remember the fundamental attribution error however, and don't be a dick to him.

Empathy and sympathy are the biggest parts of public restroom behavior.
May 28 2014 10:26AM
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ThundaKilla
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 3,781
So you and your new found bathroom bro arent going to play battleshits?
May 28 2014 10:32AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51944 - Karma: 165,968
So you're scared to poop in public bathrooms and me to feel bad for you? Shit on the soccer field at recess or something if it's such a big deal.
May 28 2014 11:03AM
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gRAPEFRUIT
Posts: 380 - Karma: 272
PhookaIf you go into a bathroom looking to shit, you want an empty bathroom, if someone is in said bathroom occupying a stall don't pretend to blow your nose, wash your hands or what have you, leave. Know that if you were in there position they would want you gone.

If you go into the bathroom to wiz, and someone is in a stall, hurry and wiz. Then leave. Don't talk to anyone and don't wash your hands. Just know that if you were in that stall you would the person coming in to leave ASAP.

If you find yourself in a stall, only to have someone enter the stall adjacent to you, this is a phenomenon known as quantum lock, you are not responsible for this, and have the restroom right of way. remember the fundamental attribution error however, and don't be a dick to him.

Empathy and sympathy are the biggest parts of public restroom behavior.


I do this everyday at work. I don't understand why places don't just install huge venting fans in bathrooms. Nobody wants to hear people shit and piss esp if they are sitting right next to you. I never understood why it was dead silent in a bathroom.
May 28 2014 11:10AM
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
If you are using the urinal next to someone else it is rude not to introduce yourself and shake hands with your new urinal neighbor
May 28 2014 11:12AM
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CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
I can understand this for girls but then again girls don't poop so maybe not.
But for guys? Why are guys afraid of pooping in public? I'll just leave this here for you:
May 28 2014 11:16AM
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BoogieWoman
Posts: 408 - Karma: 664
CheddarJackI can understand this for girls but then again girls don't poop so maybe not.
But for guys? Why are guys afraid of pooping in public? I'll just leave this here for you:


On the rare occasions that I poop...and the super rare occasions I poop at work, it really becomes a big deal if someone walks into the rest room whilst I'm in there. Sometimes it becomes a stalemate and usually I end up running out of the bathroom fast and finding another one to use just to wash my hands.

To make matters worse, at work our bathrooms as co-ed (just like Ally McBeal) so I could be in there and a guy could come in and poop in the stall next door; super gross...
May 28 2014 1:31PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,488
When someone comes into the bathroom while im pooping i do my best to push out the loudest nastiest farts. If I cant fart I pull out my phone and use a fart machine app
May 28 2014 1:34PM
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Chewy.
Posts: 4113 - Karma: 4,856
BoogieWomanOn the rare occasions that I poop...and the super rare occasions I poop at work, it really becomes a big deal if someone walks into the rest room whilst I'm in there. Sometimes it becomes a stalemate and usually I end up running out of the bathroom fast and finding another one to use just to wash my hands.

To make matters worse, at work our bathrooms as co-ed (just like Ally McBeal) so I could be in there and a guy could come in and poop in the stall next door; super gross...


Girls don't poop. Quit making up stories. But coed bathrooms are really a thing?
May 28 2014 1:37PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
What I like to do when I get to a new bathroom is see how far I can be away from the urinal and still hit it. One time in HS I got to the other wall. Then I realized someone can come in and see my epic piss arc, so I returned to the urinal.
May 28 2014 1:38PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37685 - Karma: 123,729
I'm more concerned about the fact that it was almost impossible to shit in between classes. 5 mins is not enough time to pinch one out in a successful manner
May 28 2014 1:39PM
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Dr.Dealgood
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 1,352
PhookaIf you go into the bathroom to wiz, and someone is in a stall, hurry and wiz. Then leave. Don't talk to anyone and don't wash your hands.



While your defecation insecurities may be somewhat common, I do hope you can at least wash your hands.

As far as public dumping, I'm with EBI here, there's no sense in getting wound up like a top about the whole thing, embrace the absurdity of the situation and give 'er a good push. I myself have shared a laugh with an anonymous neighbor over our putrid plight and thunderclaps of relief.
May 28 2014 1:43PM
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-MK-
Posts: 3253 - Karma: 5,332
DeebieSkeebiesI'm more concerned about the fact that it was almost impossible to shit in between classes. 5 mins is not enough time to pinch one out in a successful manner


"May I please use the restroom?"

"No! You should have gone at passing period!"

May 28 2014 1:47PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51944 - Karma: 165,968
DeebieSkeebiesI'm more concerned about the fact that it was almost impossible to shit in between classes. 5 mins is not enough time to pinch one out in a successful manner


Glad I've never had that problem. Speed shitting 4 lyfe. The most time consuming thing for me is building a next and wiping. Actual shitting is like 30 seconds.
May 28 2014 1:50PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,488
-MK-"May I please use the restroom?"

"No! You should have gone at passing period!"


Thats when you threaten to piss/shit yourself. I guess the teachers can get in some deep shit (lol) if they don't let you go and you piss yourself.
May 28 2014 1:51PM
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-MK-
Posts: 3253 - Karma: 5,332
theabortionatorGlad I've never had that problem. Speed shitting 4 lyfe. The most time consuming thing for me is building a next and wiping. Actual shitting is like 30 seconds.


That's no fun, I love shitting
May 28 2014 1:55PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11955 - Karma: 12,302
I like shitting by myself.

One time I had to take a burly one. I'm mid shit when this fucking ginger walks in and starts brushing his teeth...for over 5 minutes (in a dorm bathroom). Then, then this fucker had the audacity to plop is pale skinned ass in the stall directly next to me. There are 6 stalls in the bathroom, I picked the one second furthest to the right. This jackwagon decides it must be a nice day for battle shits because all the other stalls were available but he chose the one closest to me. You're damn right about that quantum jibberjabber, I was out of my element.
May 28 2014 2:28PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
BoogieWomanOn the rare occasions that I poop...and the super rare occasions I poop at work, it really becomes a big deal if someone walks into the rest room whilst I'm in there. Sometimes it becomes a stalemate and usually I end up running out of the bathroom fast and finding another one to use just to wash my hands.

To make matters worse, at work our bathrooms as co-ed (just like Ally McBeal) so I could be in there and a guy could come in and poop in the stall next door; super gross...


if you scooch your butt the farthest forward it can go, no one will know youre pooping because it hits the part of the toilet with no water. nahmsayin?
May 28 2014 2:33PM
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uyghur
Posts: 993 - Karma: 2,028
Is it really that complicated for you? Walk in, do your business, walk out.
May 28 2014 2:51PM
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Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128
thread reminds this video that was going around facebook a while ago.



http://youtu.be/e4jfxAVaDFw
May 28 2014 3:00PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,664
refer to sig
May 28 2014 3:01PM
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Dr.Dealgood
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 1,352
butterslut.if you scooch your butt the farthest forward it can go, no one will know youre pooping because it hits the part of the toilet with no water. nahmsayin?


Pretty sure that's an excellent way to set up a log jam.
May 28 2014 3:03PM
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Juicy-J
Posts: 1901 - Karma: 1,765
this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZO9tMetxno&feature=kp
May 28 2014 3:06PM
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Laurent.
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 25,313
I usually take a jar of Nutella with me.

May 28 2014 3:14PM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,348
omnidataI usually take a jar of Nutella with me.



Thats the best thing i ever saw
May 28 2014 3:19PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13126 - Karma: 19,225
You havent spent much time in airports.
May 28 2014 3:21PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11955 - Karma: 12,302
omnidataI usually take a jar of Nutella with me.



I'm actually genuinely excited to try this.
May 28 2014 3:22PM
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ILLinoisance
Posts: 3527 - Karma: 5,398
omnidataI usually take a jar of Nutella with me.



All fun and games until you find out that they're deathly allergic to hazelnut.
May 28 2014 3:35PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51944 - Karma: 165,968
ILLinoisanceAll fun and games until you find out that they're deathly allergic to hazelnut.



Could make for an interesting headline though.
May 28 2014 4:08PM
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yangumane
Posts: 1816 - Karma: 3,347
theabortionatorCould make for an interesting headline though.


Innocent victim trying to help a co-worker wipe poisoned by hazelnut spread
May 28 2014 5:36PM
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.undetected
Posts: 1076 - Karma: -445
omnidataI usually take a jar of Nutella with me.



You could use real poop too. That would be funnier.
May 28 2014 6:14PM
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mski
Posts: 4791 - Karma: 3,803
http://youtu.be/cZO9tMetxno
May 28 2014 6:17PM
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Milhouse
Posts: 328 - Karma: 1,380
.undetectedYou could use real poop too. That would be funnier.



only for the prankster
May 28 2014 7:03PM
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.undetected
Posts: 1076 - Karma: -445
elm0only for the prankster


Isn't that the point?
May 28 2014 7:09PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51944 - Karma: 165,968
.undetectedYou could use real poop too. That would be funnier.


I don't know if I'd want "Assaulting a stranger with poop" on my record.
May 28 2014 7:47PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37685 - Karma: 123,729
theabortionatorI don't know if I'd want "Assaulting a stranger with poop" on my record.


yeah, that'd be pretty shitty.
May 28 2014 9:37PM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,329
I used to be terrified of shitting in public bathrooms. then i realized, "wow i'm a bitchmade faggot". now i embrace it and fuckin send it and schedule my shits so i can save toilet paper by only shitting at school. win win
May 28 2014 10:23PM
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GANDALF
Posts: 6304 - Karma: 6,599
I upper decker very toilet (even my own) and smear poop everywhere
May 29 2014 1:42AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51944 - Karma: 165,968
I remember in highschool there was so old guy that would smear shit all over the bathroom at mcdonalds. They actually had to ban him from using the bathroom there.

Fucking weird. I can't imagine that conversation. You can still order food but you can't use the bathroom because we know you smeared shit all over everything multiple times.
May 29 2014 9:21AM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,105
man if the people on my floor were this polite.

when i pee i always go for the low urinal because i don't want to be so close to it
May 29 2014 9:30AM
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,972
omnidataI usually take a jar of Nutella with me.



ILLinoisanceAll fun and games until you find out that they're deathly allergic to hazelnut.


yangumaneInnocent victim trying to help a co-worker wipe poisoned by hazelnut spread


Lost it. I love ns so much
May 29 2014 11:51AM
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-MK-
Posts: 3253 - Karma: 5,332
milk_manLost it. I love ns so much


It's shame, ns hates you
May 29 2014 1:58PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,972
-MK-It's shame, ns hates you


Dang that sucks...




I really wish I cared
May 29 2014 2:34PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37685 - Karma: 123,729
milk_manDang that sucks...




I really wish I cared


Shut up pussy, we all know you care
May 29 2014 2:55PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,972
DeebieSkeebiesShut up pussy, we all know you care


May 29 2014 3:01PM
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