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Suspended for pressed ham

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Mattsaff
Posts: 673 - Karma: 614
so were coming home from a sailing meet on the bus, and me and my friend think it'd be funny to press ham on the window on the highway (our bus says the name of our school on the side)
this little silver car came up next to us and whips out his iphone and takes a picture of our asses, and then proceeds to drive in front of our bus all the way to the school. Me and my friend get off the bus as soon as possible because we know this guy has a pic of our asses and don't want to be there to confront him about it. So I'm all good till first period the next day, where I got pulled out of class by the dean, and he tells me he has a picture of my friend and i's "bare asses being pressed against the window" (almost asked for a copy of the picture because that would be epic) so ya now we have 2 days in school suspension all for some pressed ham. Turns out the guy who took the picture is an alumni of my school, which makes me wonder why the fuck he would go out of his way to fuck over a couple high school kids. well shit


sparknotes: pressed ham and a stranger took a pic.
May 22 2014 3:27PM
90 7
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
Where do I go to get my 2 minutes and 100 IQ points back that I just lost?
May 22 2014 3:30PM
20 0
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gRAPEFRUIT
Posts: 380 - Karma: 272
You left out the part where he had sex with your mother.
May 22 2014 3:31PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
Oh come on. Call the cops on that guy for having child porn and be done with it already.
May 22 2014 3:33PM
19 0
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,485
I bet you love to press ham around your cock
May 22 2014 3:35PM
3 0
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,896
Fuck the haters. A well timed and executed pressed ham is awesome. Can't believe this guy followed you all the way back to school and made a scene. He needs a hobby. There are so many other hilarious things he could have done with that photo, that wouldn't have gotten you suspended.
May 22 2014 3:44PM
3 0
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Errl
Posts: 2082 - Karma: 451
2 days of in school is nothing... enjoy 2 days of bullshitting on your phones
May 22 2014 3:44PM
2 0
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Mattsaff
Posts: 673 - Karma: 614
Mr.HuckFuck the haters. A well timed and executed pressed ham is awesome. Can't believe this guy followed you all the way back to school and made a scene. He needs a hobby. There are so many other hilarious things he could have done with that photo, that wouldn't have gotten you suspended.


thank you. the reactions we were getting were priceless...until this asshole showed up. definitely that kid in high school that everyone hated and he's tryna back at the school. what a pussy
May 22 2014 3:46PM
4 0
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,298
Mr.HuckFuck the haters. A well timed and executed pressed ham is awesome. Can't believe this guy followed you all the way back to school and made a scene. He needs a hobby. There are so many other hilarious things he could have done with that photo, that wouldn't have gotten you suspended.


Seriously. It's one thing to press some ham but if you really want to have fun it' all about pressing dat sausage.
May 22 2014 3:58PM
1 0
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
300 gnar points for each one of you guys :)
May 22 2014 4:06PM
6 0
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Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
Sue him for pedophilia, pics of boy ass aint leagal
May 22 2014 4:38PM
4 0
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~~~~~~~~
Posts: 2345 - Karma: 2,104
Also what the hell was he doing on the phone while driving?
May 22 2014 4:41PM
2 0
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op14
Posts: 1769 - Karma: 4,586
Mr.SlothWhere do I go to get my 2 minutes and 100 IQ points back that I just lost?


If it took you that long to read that then you probably don't need those IQ points anyways
May 22 2014 4:41PM
8 0
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uyghur
Posts: 993 - Karma: 2,028
Mr.HuckFuck the haters. A well timed and executed pressed ham is awesome. Can't believe this guy followed you all the way back to school and made a scene. He needs a hobby. There are so many other hilarious things he could have done with that photo, that wouldn't have gotten you suspended.

Skiierman finally found a new hobby
May 22 2014 6:35PM
0 0
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,896
Mattsaffthank you. the reactions we were getting were priceless...until this asshole showed up. definitely that kid in high school that everyone hated and he's tryna back at the school. what a pussy


Political correctness has gone way too far. In high school we were in Durango for a race. We bet one of our buddies that he wouldn't walk into the dairy queen wearing nothing but Tighty Whities and Sorrels and order an ice cream cone. He did it. Cost us $10. It was such an epic win. The place was packed and he just strolls up to the counter like a boss and orders a soft serve. It was like one of those scenes from an old western when the guy walks into a saloon and all conversations stops.

Point is that if someone tried this today, he'd wake up in jail. That sucks.
May 22 2014 6:51PM
0 0
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Mattsaff
Posts: 673 - Karma: 614
Mr.HuckPolitical correctness has gone way too far. In high school we were in Durango for a race. We bet one of our buddies that he wouldn't walk into the dairy queen wearing nothing but Tighty Whities and Sorrels and order an ice cream cone. He did it. Cost us $10. It was such an epic win. The place was packed and he just strolls up to the counter like a boss and orders a soft serve. It was like one of those scenes from an old western when the guy walks into a saloon and all conversations stops.

Point is that if someone tried this today, he'd wake up in jail. That sucks.



what makes me wonder is why he felt like he had go completely out of his way to fuck us over
May 22 2014 7:12PM
0 0
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,298
Mr.HuckPolitical correctness has gone way too far. In high school we were in Durango for a race. We bet one of our buddies that he wouldn't walk into the dairy queen wearing nothing but Tighty Whities and Sorrels and order an ice cream cone. He did it. Cost us $10. It was such an epic win. The place was packed and he just strolls up to the counter like a boss and orders a soft serve. It was like one of those scenes from an old western when the guy walks into a saloon and all conversations stops.

Point is that if someone tried this today, he'd wake up in jail. That sucks.


PC needs to die in a fucking fire. Anything you say nowadays is either racist, sexist, prejudice, or some other kind of bullshit. The pussification of America is stronger than ever and this thread is just another example of it. Pisses me right the fuck off.
May 22 2014 7:17PM
2 0
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Errl
Posts: 2082 - Karma: 451
Mr.HuckWe bet one of our buddies that he wouldn't walk into the dairy queen wearing nothing but Tighty Whities and Sorrels and order an ice cream cone.


this just solidifies that Mr.Huck is the man
May 22 2014 7:23PM
0 0
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
Granite_StateSeriously. It's one thing to press some ham but if you really want to have fun it' all about pressing dat sausage.



May 22 2014 7:32PM
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Huck_Fin
Posts: 355 - Karma: 968
Pee in his butt
May 22 2014 7:35PM
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,896
Mattsaffwhat makes me wonder is why he felt like he had go completely out of his way to fuck us over


I'm sure he was just trying to get your names so he could later stalk you, and attempt to buttrape you both. You might want to consider titanium boxers for awhile.
May 22 2014 7:36PM
0 0
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BMB
Posts: 3138 - Karma: 232
Who else thought it was actual ham being pressed when they read the title, and not asscheek?
May 22 2014 7:41PM
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MNS
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 3,241
If I was the guy behind you, I wouldn't be offended. I'd laugh. Then I'd laugh harder after getting you suspended with the photo.

Haha suckers, clearly the guy in the car is a better shithead than you.

Your move
May 22 2014 7:49PM
0 0
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
Mr.HuckI'm sure he was just trying to get your names so he could later stalk you, and attempt to buttrape you both. You might want to consider titanium boxers for awhile.



Better keep a butt plug in. You know... For safety.
May 22 2014 7:50PM
1 0
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Mattsaff
Posts: 673 - Karma: 614
administration wouldn't give us the personal information of the suspect for obvious reasons
May 22 2014 7:56PM
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acualywasdolan
Posts: 1172 - Karma: -747
Mattsaffthank you. the reactions we were getting were priceless...until this asshole showed up. definitely that kid in high school that everyone hated and he's tryna back at the school. what a pussy


Find out where he lives and slash his tires, tp his house and break his windows
May 22 2014 8:00PM
0 0
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Spiri7o
Posts: 2163 - Karma: 1,100
good going OP
May 22 2014 8:02PM
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op14
Posts: 1769 - Karma: 4,586
SpssFind out where he lives and slash his tires, tp his house and break his windows


and kill him while you're at it
May 22 2014 8:57PM
0 0
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a_pla5tic_bag
Posts: 9215 - Karma: 5,398
Phil-X-Sue him for pedophilia, pics of boy ass aint leagal


hahahaaha. if you're under 18 please try and do something with this.
May 22 2014 9:01PM
0 0
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Wampire
Posts: 1217 - Karma: 4,684
I was very confused throughout that story if it was ham, or a butt cheek. I hate you for not making it super clear
May 22 2014 9:20PM
0 0
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Abu_Hajaar
Posts: 2749 - Karma: 3,907
Phil-X-Sue him for pedophilia, pics of boy ass aint leagal


please do this op
May 22 2014 10:05PM
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HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,676
You have a dean of your highschool?
Are you fucking kidding me
May 22 2014 10:20PM
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Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
HamFaceGirlYou have a dean of your highschool?
Are you fucking kidding me


We had 2?
May 22 2014 11:33PM
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