this person actually took the time to write this shit, im sorry it just pisses me off
Sporks...think about it. They are one of the best ideas ever. I mean, where else are you going to find a fork AND a spoon...all in one nifty utensil. I think that everybody should take a moment and just think about sporks. I think that Mondays should be international Spork day.
The name 'Spork' is a blend of the words (sp)oon and f(ork). Spork ® is the trademarked name for a piece of cutlery combining the features of a spoon, a fork and sometimes a knife. It is also called the Runcible Spoon. A patent for the Spork ® was issued on August 11th, 1970 to Van Brode Milling Co., Inc., of Clinton, Mass.
Over the past century, fast food restaurants have been booming. Chains of restaurants such as McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Rally’s, Taco Bell, and Burger King have revolutionized society with fast, inexpensive, tasty foods that can be ordered across the country. With these new eateries, plastic utensils have also gained popularity. The drive-up window makes metal utensils obsolete. Customers would drive away with millions of dollars in silverware each year nationwide. Plastic provides cheap, acceptably durable alternatives to the traditional metal forks, spoons, and knives.
The plastic utensil revolution also featured a new implement in the arsenal of cutlery: the spork. A cross between a spoon and a fork, the spork has been the utensil of choice for years at Taco Bell, KFC, Rally’s, Popeye’s, and other restaurants and cafeterias nationwide. Its appeal extends not only from its unique versatility in the transfer of rations from plate to mouth, but also in its value as a plaything, a decorative item, and (to some misguided individuals) an item of inspirational worship.
According to a highly questionable rumor, the spork was invented in the 1940's by the United States army after conquering Japan. General MacArthur declared that eating with chopsticks was uncivilized, and the Japanese should eat with forks and spoons like the rest of the 'civilized' world. However, there was some hesitation in the military about 'arming' the civilians of the newly conquered land with forks, and so the spork was invented (ag592@yfn.edu). Despite this, the official patent on the name and concept of the 'spork' is currently held by Van Brode Milling Co., Inc (shmit@spork.org).
Whatever their origin may be, sporks began appearing in fast food restaurants in the 1960's (ag592@yfn.edu). Their popularity stems primarily from their versatility. This one utensil offers the ability to stab, to spoon, and even, by using the surprisingly sharp side as a wedge, the ability to cut. Sporks are thus suitable for a vast variety of foods, from ground beef and casserole dishes to salads and boiled vegetables; only soup and tough steak present a problem because of their unusually demanding properties. Soup requires a utensil with a larger basin, such as a spoon, for efficient eating, while steak requires sharper, serrated cutting edges and deeper penetration than the small tines of a spork permit. These exceptions are easily forgotten, however, in light of the wide array of foods for which the spork has proven useful.
Sporks also have a prevalent role as a plaything. One can push the spoon-like depression of the spork inside-out creating a 'foon.' Objects can be loaded into the new depression and then 'fired' by pressing the spork back to its normal shape. Foons therefore offer a new medium with which to hone one’s target shooting skills. Among certain circles of individuals (this author’s friends being one group), great respect is given to an individual who can foon with good accuracy and range. Unfortunately, fooning requires a very flexible spork, which is sometimes hard to come by.
One can also use sporks in creative venues; their potential has only begun to be touched. They make excellent rear-view mirror danglies, Christmas tree ornaments, door hangings, spork-chain curtains, key-chains, and earrings. Like popsicle sticks, they are a superb craft medium. It is only a matter of time before preschools and kindergartens across the country begin to use sporks to harness their students’ creative energies. One can envision huge spork and wire structures being admitted sometime in the future into reputable art galleries across the country as display items.
Not surprisingly, sporks have developed a minor 'cult' following. Though not so influential as to rip individuals from their homes and take over their lives, the 'spork cult' has an established presence. A good source of information about this cult is the Internet. Several web pages have been established by spork followers that illustrate their love and devotion to the utensil. Some honor its uses and status (http://www.spork.org), while others go so far as outlining rituals for the christening, use, and burial of a spork (http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/1335/spork.html). There are even two news groups available on Usenet (alt.utensils.spork and alt.plastic.utensils.spork.spork.spork) for spork fans. Discussions in these areas range from proclamations of spork greatness to spork poetry.
No other plastic utensil has demonstrated the versatility that the spork has. It can be used to consume a wide variety of dishes, is a wonderful creative medium, and has even become enough of an inspiration to people around the country to have established a cult following. Surprisingly, no metal utensil companies have taken note of the spork’s versatility and have sold them as a regular part of their utensil sets. The market for such an item would indeed seem large, based on the large, established following of the spork. Such a change could revolutionize the table setting routines of the world, eliminating the need for multiple utensils and lowering post-dinner dish washing requirements. Only time will tell if such ingenuity will be implemented in the utensil manufacturing industry.
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