Replying to Meditation

A few weeks ago I went on a 10 day trip to Costa Rica and began to indulge myself into meditation. Now when I first thought about meditation, I did not think it would work because it did not really make any sense to me. While on this trip I began to slowly become more aware that reality itself is merely perception. This perception is created by the brain. Now I have no idea how everything in this universe was created but I have begun to believe in the theory that this world may in fact all be "fake". Now I do not mean that we as human beings are part of some large scale sims video game, but more along the lines that the brain itself created everything and anything to essentially keep itself busy. Here is where I insert the process of meditating.

It began as simple thoughts that I was just trying to relieve stress and try to live my life "sound mind sound body". And meditating quickly became a tool that I can use for solving almost any problem. The first time I tried to meditate was pretty predictable for myself, because I could not stay focused. My eyes when closed would rush around trying to find a fixture to focus on. This caused my mind to not slow down at all and only keep pace with itself in a normal routine. Around a fornight ago, I tried to sit on my roof at approximately 3am and meditate whilst gazing upon the stars. This helped me because I had a fixture for my eyes to lock onto, but my mind could run free. This is where I first experienced the disconnection of my mind from my body.

It was an "eye" opening experience because never before in my life have I truly felt free. As cliche as it may sound I was trying to latch onto a thought appeared in my mind of myself skiing. It was as if the thought was running away and I was trying to catch it. Eventually I was able to get what seemed to be only a few feet away, and that's when it hit me. I took a large breath and while I was exhaling, I could feel my "soul" leaving through my mouth and joining with this thought.

The next thing that happened was a tad bit aggravating, but kind of expected. I was so relieved that I was free from my physical body, that I began hysterically laughing. The sudden movements and laughter knocked me out of the meditation state and back into my body.

This experience of "leaving" the body is the reason I feel as if reality is fake. Mainly because I created a thought inside my mind and began experiencing it as if it were "really" happening. So my theory is that reality itself is only the perception of the mind. The brain can create anything it wants whenever it wants. Thus leaving me stranded with the constant thought of "Why?". Which I seem to ask myself every waking moment of my life.