Member of the Month

partyandBS
December, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

If Pros were Dildos

profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
So many "If Pros were" threads. How about one to end them all.

Rules:

1) Hand drawn or shopped
2) No obvious dick pics
3) Keep it somewhat classy or it will get deleted
4) All Dildos must have a name
5) Added description of dildo characteristics optional.

Examples:

The Rawr Bitch



The Whamstick

May 5 2014 4:46PM
1052 41
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51948 - Karma: 166,015
WUT
May 5 2014 4:59PM
74 0
profile picture
robotdna
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 2,959
Jesus summer NS gets weird fast
May 5 2014 5:00PM
128 0
profile picture
TaranItUp
Posts: 1313 - Karma: 802
I'm scared.
May 5 2014 5:03PM
11 0
profile picture
snugs
Posts: 966 - Karma: 4,090
May 5 2014 5:28PM
74 0
profile picture
*JDBP*
Posts: 312 - Karma: 2,006


Oprah and the Whamstick
May 5 2014 5:40PM
40 0
profile picture
robotdna
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 2,959
Eh, I'll bite.

I know this is a Pros thread, but here's one...get it?


Black Steve? No? Okay. Nevermind.

Shitty photoshop is shitty.
May 5 2014 5:41PM
59 1
profile picture
elinde
Posts: 1472 - Karma: 3,071
This man is a father.
May 5 2014 5:44PM
35 0
profile picture
Twandos
Posts: 259 - Karma: 2,028
MRW I keep seeing these posts
May 5 2014 5:45PM
15 1
profile picture
robotdna
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 2,959
Henrik's "Dildread"



Lawl
May 5 2014 5:49PM
149 1
profile picture
steezburgereddie
Posts: 1059 - Karma: 1,945
https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/781990/If-pros-were-like-bipedal-marsupials

Very original idea
May 5 2014 6:04PM
0 19
profile picture
-WZ-
Posts: 3600 - Karma: 6,582
is it really summer already
May 5 2014 8:50PM
12 0
profile picture
Atomika09
Posts: 104 - Karma: 746
Go stick your heads in the freezer. Seems like the warm air is killing the ski gabberishness.
May 5 2014 9:01PM
10 0
profile picture
APunx176
Posts: 1189 - Karma: 2,628
May 5 2014 9:08PM
28 1
profile picture
frickindarn
Posts: 2545 - Karma: 11,371
This thread is dildos.
May 5 2014 10:33PM
40 0
profile picture
Al.Capone
Posts: 661 - Karma: 2,779
bobcatcryThis thread is dildos.


literally dildos
May 5 2014 11:11PM
15 2
profile picture
frickindarn
Posts: 2545 - Karma: 11,371
Al.Caponeliterally dildos


ZING!
May 5 2014 11:22PM
8 2
profile picture
Paul.
Posts: 1619 - Karma: 11,207
The Schlopy Spinner - Traditional drilldo with Alex Schlopy's head for maximum pleasure, capable of up to 1980 RPM


May 6 2014 12:49AM
87 0
profile picture
whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,105
who deleted my original if pros were dildos thread
May 6 2014 1:00AM
5 1
profile picture
ANDR01D
Posts: 1181 - Karma: 3,319
robotdnaEh, I'll bite.

I know this is a Pros thread, but here's one...get it?


Black Steve? No? Okay. Nevermind.

Shitty photoshop is shitty.


Mr. Hanky the freeski poo
He does doubles and zero spins too
Watch from the chairlift here he comes
Slaying every hot lap run
His tall-t hangs far below
And his Subaru has underglow
He's not in the bunch or hood crew
But he can blind swap pretzel 2
May 6 2014 2:39AM
23 0
profile picture
chacha33
Posts: 959 - Karma: 4,163
I would have some good pics but my school has blocked wifi :/
May 6 2014 8:54AM
6 1
profile picture
Japaneezy
Posts: 1039 - Karma: 4,268
Paul.The Schlopy Spinner - Traditional drilldo with Alex Schlopy's head for maximum pleasure, capable of up to 1980 RPM




the best by far.
May 6 2014 9:36AM
6 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
SteezyJapaneezythe best by far.


Agreed.

New effort. The Hippy Killer.

May 6 2014 10:23AM
29 0
profile picture
soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
I wish I could hang but even my ms paint skills are mediocre at best
May 6 2014 10:44AM
3 0
profile picture
broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,664
on the front page of the premier freeskiing website is a thread comparing professional skiers to dildos.



god i love skiing.
May 6 2014 11:06AM
33 1
profile picture
Trace.
Posts: 1460 - Karma: 635
TwandosMRW I keep seeing these posts


This is a 10/10 Mr. Huck post, and don't you mean mfw?
May 6 2014 11:25AM
2 0
profile picture
LastChairMedia
Posts: 860 - Karma: 1,855
What other sport can you compare pros to dildos? I
May 6 2014 3:09PM
9 0
profile picture
I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
thread has potential for sure :)
May 6 2014 3:36PM
4 0
profile picture
whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,105
who's the great american challenge?
May 6 2014 3:49PM
3 0
profile picture
X_ANKILLA
Posts: 2386 - Karma: -6,479


The Dumont Special.
May 6 2014 4:53PM
38 1
profile picture
I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
The 'JON' with extra clitoral stimulating skibox

May 6 2014 5:14PM
31 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
I_Am_ModThe 'JON' with extra clitoral stimulating skibox



Great minds think alike:

Here's the JO Pro model. It goes really fast, but don't ask how much it costs because you can't afford it.



Also, for those who like to go really big, here's the Mike Wilson.

May 6 2014 5:30PM
18 0
profile picture
Daski
Posts: 658 - Karma: 2,348
This thread is dildos
May 6 2014 6:00PM
6 7
profile picture
S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,170
Steve Stepp would be a cucumber.
May 6 2014 6:20PM
5 0
profile picture
APunx176
Posts: 1189 - Karma: 2,628
There should be one of Jesper Tjader with a HUGE sack on it.
May 6 2014 8:11PM
6 0
profile picture
.FRY.
Posts: 5620 - Karma: 22,863
CalebTheKillianThere should be one of Jesper Tjader with a HUGE sack on it.


haha yes!
May 6 2014 9:09PM
3 0
profile picture
SKIU4EA
Posts: 2387 - Karma: 2,072
searchbar, come on now, there's a million pro-dildo threads and so unoriginal..... oh wait
May 7 2014 8:10AM
1 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
SKIU4EAsearchbar, come on now, there's a million pro-dildo threads and so unoriginal..... oh wait


I was worried that this thread might be a repost.

Anyway, today's effort:

Introducing the Candide Toe Vex. It's small, bionic and fully automatic. You have no idea what the hell it's going to do, but it's always exciting.

May 7 2014 12:26PM
9 0
profile picture
*DUMBCAN*
Posts: 2447 - Karma: 5,628
Mr.HuckI was worried that this thread might be a repost.

Anyway, today's effort:

Introducing the Candide Toe Vex. It's small, bionic and fully automatic. You have no idea what the hell it's going to do, but it's always exciting.



That's fantastic
May 7 2014 12:37PM
3 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
CalebTheKillianThere should be one of Jesper Tjader with a HUGE sack on it.


May 8 2014 3:46PM
4 0
profile picture
Paul.
Posts: 1619 - Karma: 11,207
Mr.HuckI was worried that this thread might be a repost.

Anyway, today's effort:

Introducing the Candide Toe Vex. It's small, bionic and fully automatic. You have no idea what the hell it's going to do, but it's always exciting.



This one would give you major toebang.
May 8 2014 4:30PM
4 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
This definitely deserved honorable mention:

May 31 2014 9:57AM
8 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51948 - Karma: 166,015
The best day was when this thread died. Now we gotta wait again.
May 31 2014 10:24AM
3 4
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
theabortionatorThe best day was when this thread died. Now we gotta wait again.


May 31 2014 11:52AM
3 0
profile picture
robotdna
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 2,959
theabortionatorThe best day was when this thread died. Now we gotta wait again.


It was just getting good though, with unrelated crap starting to turn it into something interesting.
Jun 6 2014 10:56AM
1 0
profile picture
MiIfHunter
Posts: 3978 - Karma: 4,265
I miss Mr. Huck
Dec 5 2020 9:42PM
1 1
profile picture
b0ss
Posts: 806 - Karma: 6,258
theabortionatorWUT

Leave this at 69 likes
Dec 5 2020 9:45PM
1 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51948 - Karma: 166,015
b0ssLeave this at 69 likes


Not gonna lie that's kinda dope. I dont even remember this thread. Shits weird lol
Dec 5 2020 9:59PM
1 0
profile picture
danbrown
Posts: 11939 - Karma: 21,833
Mr.HuckThis definitely deserved honorable mention:



hahaha this is my instagram. hilarious I never saw this thread
Dec 6 2020 9:52AM
4 0
profile picture
danbrown
Posts: 11939 - Karma: 21,833
danbrownhahaha this is my instagram. hilarious I never saw this thread


also to clarify skiierman got shitfaced and passed out on my couch and I put a dildo in his hand
Dec 6 2020 3:24PM
2 0
profile picture
BigPurpleSkiSuit
Posts: 9432 - Karma: 69,223
danbrownalso to clarify skiierman got shitfaced and passed out on my couch and I put a dildo in his hand


but who's dildo was it?
Dec 6 2020 8:44PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)