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If Pros were Dildos

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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
So many "If Pros were" threads. How about one to end them all.

Rules:

1) Hand drawn or shopped
2) No obvious dick pics
3) Keep it somewhat classy or it will get deleted
4) All Dildos must have a name
5) Added description of dildo characteristics optional.

Examples:

The Rawr Bitch



The Whamstick

11 years ago
1052 41
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theabortionator
Posts: 52318 - Karma: 170,642
WUT
11 years ago
74 0
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robotdna
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 2,959
Jesus summer NS gets weird fast
11 years ago
128 0
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TaranItUp
Posts: 1313 - Karma: 802
I'm scared.
11 years ago
11 0
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snugs
Posts: 966 - Karma: 4,090
11 years ago
74 0
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*JDBP*
Posts: 312 - Karma: 2,006


Oprah and the Whamstick
11 years ago
40 0
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robotdna
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 2,959
Eh, I'll bite.

I know this is a Pros thread, but here's one...get it?


Black Steve? No? Okay. Nevermind.

Shitty photoshop is shitty.
11 years ago
59 1
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elinde
Posts: 1481 - Karma: 3,128
This man is a father.
11 years ago
35 0
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Twandos
Posts: 259 - Karma: 2,033
MRW I keep seeing these posts
11 years ago
15 1
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robotdna
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 2,959
Henrik's "Dildread"



Lawl
11 years ago
149 1
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steezburgereddie
Posts: 1059 - Karma: 1,945
https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/781990/If-pros-were-like-bipedal-marsupials

Very original idea
11 years ago
0 19
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-WZ-
Posts: 3600 - Karma: 6,582
is it really summer already
11 years ago
12 0
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Atomika09
Posts: 104 - Karma: 746
Go stick your heads in the freezer. Seems like the warm air is killing the ski gabberishness.
11 years ago
10 0
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APunx176
Posts: 1189 - Karma: 2,628
11 years ago
28 1
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frickindarn
Posts: 2545 - Karma: 11,371
This thread is dildos.
11 years ago
40 0
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Al.Capone
Posts: 661 - Karma: 2,779
bobcatcryThis thread is dildos.


literally dildos
11 years ago
15 2
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frickindarn
Posts: 2545 - Karma: 11,371
Al.Caponeliterally dildos


ZING!
11 years ago
8 2
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Paul.
Posts: 1639 - Karma: 11,371
The Schlopy Spinner - Traditional drilldo with Alex Schlopy's head for maximum pleasure, capable of up to 1980 RPM


11 years ago
87 0
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,105
who deleted my original if pros were dildos thread
11 years ago
5 1
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ANDR01D
Posts: 1181 - Karma: 3,319
robotdnaEh, I'll bite.

I know this is a Pros thread, but here's one...get it?


Black Steve? No? Okay. Nevermind.

Shitty photoshop is shitty.


Mr. Hanky the freeski poo
He does doubles and zero spins too
Watch from the chairlift here he comes
Slaying every hot lap run
His tall-t hangs far below
And his Subaru has underglow
He's not in the bunch or hood crew
But he can blind swap pretzel 2
11 years ago
23 0
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chacha33
Posts: 959 - Karma: 4,164
I would have some good pics but my school has blocked wifi :/
11 years ago
6 1
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Japaneezy
Posts: 1039 - Karma: 4,268
Paul.The Schlopy Spinner - Traditional drilldo with Alex Schlopy's head for maximum pleasure, capable of up to 1980 RPM




the best by far.
11 years ago
6 0
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
SteezyJapaneezythe best by far.


Agreed.

New effort. The Hippy Killer.

11 years ago
29 0
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
I wish I could hang but even my ms paint skills are mediocre at best
11 years ago
3 0
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broto
Posts: 9040 - Karma: 25,671
on the front page of the premier freeskiing website is a thread comparing professional skiers to dildos.



god i love skiing.
11 years ago
33 1
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Trace.
Posts: 1460 - Karma: 635
TwandosMRW I keep seeing these posts


This is a 10/10 Mr. Huck post, and don't you mean mfw?
11 years ago
2 0
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LastChairMedia
Posts: 860 - Karma: 1,855
What other sport can you compare pros to dildos? I
11 years ago
9 0
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
thread has potential for sure :)
11 years ago
4 0
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,105
who's the great american challenge?
11 years ago
3 0
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X_ANKILLA
Posts: 2460 - Karma: -8,312


The Dumont Special.
11 years ago
38 1
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
The 'JON' with extra clitoral stimulating skibox

11 years ago
31 0
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
I_Am_ModThe 'JON' with extra clitoral stimulating skibox



Great minds think alike:

Here's the JO Pro model. It goes really fast, but don't ask how much it costs because you can't afford it.



Also, for those who like to go really big, here's the Mike Wilson.

11 years ago
18 0
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Daski
Posts: 659 - Karma: 2,365
This thread is dildos
11 years ago
6 7
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,172
Steve Stepp would be a cucumber.
11 years ago
5 0
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APunx176
Posts: 1189 - Karma: 2,628
There should be one of Jesper Tjader with a HUGE sack on it.
11 years ago
6 0
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.FRY.
Posts: 5627 - Karma: 22,795
CalebTheKillianThere should be one of Jesper Tjader with a HUGE sack on it.


haha yes!
11 years ago
3 0
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SKIU4EA
Posts: 2388 - Karma: 2,086
searchbar, come on now, there's a million pro-dildo threads and so unoriginal..... oh wait
11 years ago
1 0
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
SKIU4EAsearchbar, come on now, there's a million pro-dildo threads and so unoriginal..... oh wait


I was worried that this thread might be a repost.

Anyway, today's effort:

Introducing the Candide Toe Vex. It's small, bionic and fully automatic. You have no idea what the hell it's going to do, but it's always exciting.

11 years ago
9 0
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*DUMBCAN*
Posts: 2447 - Karma: 5,628
Mr.HuckI was worried that this thread might be a repost.

Anyway, today's effort:

Introducing the Candide Toe Vex. It's small, bionic and fully automatic. You have no idea what the hell it's going to do, but it's always exciting.



That's fantastic
11 years ago
3 0
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
CalebTheKillianThere should be one of Jesper Tjader with a HUGE sack on it.


11 years ago
4 0
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Paul.
Posts: 1639 - Karma: 11,371
Mr.HuckI was worried that this thread might be a repost.

Anyway, today's effort:

Introducing the Candide Toe Vex. It's small, bionic and fully automatic. You have no idea what the hell it's going to do, but it's always exciting.



This one would give you major toebang.
11 years ago
4 0
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
This definitely deserved honorable mention:

11 years ago
8 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 52318 - Karma: 170,642
The best day was when this thread died. Now we gotta wait again.
11 years ago
3 4
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
theabortionatorThe best day was when this thread died. Now we gotta wait again.


11 years ago
3 0
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robotdna
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 2,959
theabortionatorThe best day was when this thread died. Now we gotta wait again.


It was just getting good though, with unrelated crap starting to turn it into something interesting.
11 years ago
1 0
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MiIfHunter
Posts: 3978 - Karma: 4,276
I miss Mr. Huck
4 years ago
1 1
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b0ss
Posts: 816 - Karma: 6,282
theabortionatorWUT

Leave this at 69 likes
4 years ago
1 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 52318 - Karma: 170,642
b0ssLeave this at 69 likes


Not gonna lie that's kinda dope. I dont even remember this thread. Shits weird lol
4 years ago
1 0
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danbrown
Posts: 11939 - Karma: 21,834
Mr.HuckThis definitely deserved honorable mention:



hahaha this is my instagram. hilarious I never saw this thread
4 years ago
4 0
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danbrown
Posts: 11939 - Karma: 21,834
danbrownhahaha this is my instagram. hilarious I never saw this thread


also to clarify skiierman got shitfaced and passed out on my couch and I put a dildo in his hand
4 years ago
2 0
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BigPurpleSkiSuit
Posts: 9540 - Karma: 70,609
danbrownalso to clarify skiierman got shitfaced and passed out on my couch and I put a dildo in his hand


but who's dildo was it?
4 years ago
0 0
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