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abjectwoe
May, 2025

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Would Jesus have skied or snowboarded?

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theabortionator
Posts: 52630 - Karma: 174,674
If he was getting baptized in chest deep pow what would he have attached to his feet?

Also, what do you think the impact will be on your religious views when the truth comes out?
11 years ago
169 7
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Cheeko
Posts: 505 - Karma: 881
Snowboarded, He's used to his feet being fixed to one board.
11 years ago
38 3
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DIPED_IN_SAUCE
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,256
He can walk on water so he would get max float barefoot. Jesus would have barefoot snow-bladed.
11 years ago
11 0
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Nacho+
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 7,792
Skied obviously. Snowboarding is only for satansistic degenerates who wish to impede on the progressions of the world. That doesn't seem like Jesus does it?
11 years ago
8 0
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ModMommy
Posts: 10877 - Karma: 58,291
He would have skated.
11 years ago
4 0
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Randy_Quench
Posts: 5447 - Karma: 4,348
"what jesus would look like if he freestyle skied" used to be the youtube video title for Tom's superunknown video. therefor, jesus would have skied.. because Tom is jesus.

11 years ago
5 0
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Randy_Quench
Posts: 5447 - Karma: 4,348
proof that Tom = Jesus

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11 years ago
16 0
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,363
he would probably stay at home and go snowshoeing instead.
11 years ago
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Jro.
Posts: 628 - Karma: 655
i can see him using tele skis
11 years ago
3 0
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Blake.P
Posts: 9894 - Karma: 3,585
obviously ski
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11 years ago
21 0
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Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,402
Could you imagine running in to Jesus in a smoke shack on the mountain... trippy
11 years ago
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Abc567def
Posts: 8756 - Karma: 802
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11 years ago
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theabortionator
Posts: 52630 - Karma: 174,674
Pretty much everyone in every smoke shack looks like Jesus. God damn hippies
11 years ago
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NPF
Posts: 5153 - Karma: 12,122
2 planks. Skier for sure
11 years ago
3 0
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Mr.LemonPie
Posts: 4100 - Karma: 1,625
And I'd spray the shit out of him if he did too...

"Put your heel down and cut your hair you hippy!"
11 years ago
1 0
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,194
I would so wear a shirt with this pic on it
11 years ago
4 0
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SkiThe603
Posts: 5376 - Karma: 498
2 feet = 2 skis

2 feet = 1 snowboard

CHECK THE MATH CAUSE THAT DON'T ADD UP
11 years ago
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bighomieflock
Posts: 2040 - Karma: 2,445
He would be a gypsy snowboarder who wears skinny pants and smokes cigs
11 years ago
1 0
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skier58284
Posts: 1705 - Karma: 5,366
/thread

Are you from /pol/?
11 years ago
1 0
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25444 - Karma: 13,856
Tanner Hall has come back from two injuries that would have put a lesser mortal out of skiing = double jesus of freeskiing = argument invalid.
11 years ago
2 1
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NPF
Posts: 5153 - Karma: 12,122
i accept that fully.
11 years ago
2 0
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Dan-Man
Posts: 7488 - Karma: 3,630
lmfao

this.

but we all know we would of been a blader fo sheez
11 years ago
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Culture+
Posts: 449 - Karma: 2,245
He probly would have snowboarded because it's gay and overrated
11 years ago
3 2
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Drail
Posts: 14045 - Karma: 10,323
Skiing existed when Jesus was alive, snowboarding wasn't invented for 1500+ years after he died.

Logically, Jesus was a skier.
11 years ago
1 0
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cheaaaaaa
Posts: 830 - Karma: 630
A, He had daddy issues
B, Joe and Marry were OG and obviously skied
C, So Jesus was a thug rebel and boarded because he thought it was "cooler"
11 years ago
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hippy.
Posts: 3106 - Karma: 14,374
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11 years ago
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goat00
Posts: 240 - Karma: 528

heyooooooooo!

11 years ago
2 0
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Laurent.
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 25,311
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11 years ago
6 0
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please
Posts: 96 - Karma: 600
I would give simon and CRJ props for the shittest injuries. Tanner is just a (my ankles are broke) baby
11 years ago
1 0
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goat00
Posts: 240 - Karma: 528
been rockin the tall shit since the beginning...
11 years ago
2 0
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Poikenz
Posts: 1541 - Karma: 4,372
Jesus skis and he lives near Holiday Valley.

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11 years ago
3 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 52630 - Karma: 174,674
Jehovas witnesses came to my house today and invited me to a dinner party. I might go and ask some of these pressing life questions about the man the myth the messiah.
11 years ago
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