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Why are men happier than women?
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I found this on the Best Of craigslist.org... numbers 8 and 18 are my favorites.
1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can 'do' our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
-teddy
WWTJSD?
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Haha, 18 is sweet.
But as far as 10 goes... the bitches get paid more than me at the deli. My boss told me its because they've got boobs for the construction workers to look at.
-AndrewP
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Per solitudinem ardere in remedium formidinis dictitabat.
'It is often said that the best remedy for fear is to burn alone.'
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I like 16 the most
I don't deny there are bad things in the US right now, hell, 51% of the country to be exact. But god damnit, our country being fat is NOT a problem. I do't give a shit how fat people are. hell, fat kids are harder to kidnap, that means our country is safer.
-Melvs
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i laughed. I like lists
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Oh... I thought you meant real anti-freeze, I was like 'Jesus man, you must be a drinking god to still be alive.' -skierman
'You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.'
'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'
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8 is the best by far.
-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*
'I hope you get hit by a neon'
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haha 18 is awesome.
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Good Fun With A Hand Gun.
Future Canadian
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35 or 8 are deadly
«*$*Carney*$*»
One time at mount Mckay..........
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18 is the best haha thats all good stuff though
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Pat
'The deep south? Isn't that the place where the black people are lazy and the white people are just as lazy, but they are mad at the black people for being lazy?'
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thats pretty funny
'collars up are officially gay, but layering 2 polo shirts is still acceptable'
-ATLANTASKI
'r u sayin we r being censored by da goverment?
fuck pussy dick suckin lip
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i like tanks
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
KNUCK IF YOU BUCK BWYA
'Answer: Your temp visa expiried and you were condemned to a meaningless life eating snakes with all the bushnecks in the outback' - iceiscary on why aussiepimp hates america
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wow those are incredibly true
~*Michelle
'If you tell the truth, you dont have to remember anything'
roundtop riders '05
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what's with all this older stuff getting re-posted tonight?
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no,my parents didnt go to college, my dad has a grade 9 education and my mom is a stupid slut -lateralis
'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'
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haha^^^ yeah those are true. damn i never realized that
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one time i had a great idea to spit on my arm and pour sand on it to reveal a wonderful shape and to my amazement it was a..................perfectly shaped KITE!-Lateralis
drinking is always the answer. dog dies? have a drink. got a F on your math final? have a drink. hooked up with you moms aunt? have a drink.-cj
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its all so true though...
I don't deny there are bad things in the US right now, hell, 51% of the country to be exact. But god damnit, our country being fat is NOT a problem. I do't give a shit how fat people are. hell, fat kids are harder to kidnap, that means our country is safer.
-melvs
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haha i was reading through that. it's the same with those big dykey girls though too haha
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feed your dog chicken bones and watch what happens
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dammit my post was deleted i think me being able to harass teddy should be an exception to all the mod rules
-Lauren
I dropped out of high school to ski.
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oooo I thought of one to add!
36. We dont have to suck a dick to guarantee another date.
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no,my parents didnt go to college, my dad has a grade 9 education and my mom is a stupid slut -lateralis
'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'
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^^ thats great haha
COC session C 05
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^^haha, nice
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'my woman thinks im fuckin one of her best friends and if she keeps bein gay about it im goin to fuck this girl cuz im tired of hearing it'-Lanemeyers
-sticks and snow will break my bones and i will bleed profusely-
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Sooo true. I love being a guy, we get to enjoy life more.
----2ond in Command of DANSA-----
To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
GW Award December 3, 2004
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35 is good but unfortunately i know examples on which that one doesnt really fit...
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did you know that coke tastes much better without the bottle?
'The weirdest dream I have ever had is when Chris Farley kidnapped me and forced me to touch his penis.' - snowforblood
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i love it... 18 and 35 are the best
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if your floating down a fiver in a cement canoe, and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house?
NONE! ice cream doesnt have bones.....
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I'm still trying to decide wether #26 was a dirty joke or not.
-Landis Tanaka
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what about 10-Same job,more pay. Although 18 is damn good too
If The women don't find you handsome... atleast they will find you handy
(Red Green)
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^^I dont think it's a joke. It's true. Chicks always have to test it both ways before doing the whole thing. Haha, that sorta sounds dirty too.
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no,my parents didnt go to college, my dad has a grade 9 education and my mom is a stupid slut -lateralis
'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'
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they can be preident is wicked funny im surprised no one has mentioned it yet
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Grandmaster CT Skiers
'i am smarter than the average indivitual'-D-Loc AKA 'I'm the coolest'
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haha
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'This is not an option nigga. If you do not smoke this, we have a problem' -Wayne Brady in Chapelle's Show
CCR/DFP represent.
- Happy Hollidays -
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4sho
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Soooooo sick. You as cold as ice.
CCR/DFP represent.
- Happy Hollidays -
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29 is pretty sweet too
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-Matt
my one friend was pushed into a pole and he riped his sack open on impact now we call him stitchie
if you lived here you'd be skiing now
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ooo, nuther one
37. We dont have to use tampons.
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no,my parents didnt go to college, my dad has a grade 9 education and my mom is a stupid slut -lateralis
'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'
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38. if we have sex with a chick we get congradualated, if a women has sex with a guy shes a slut
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buy a hat, help a kid
www.stores.ebay.com/alaskacrochet
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
My store
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We can wear confortable shoes without having our sexuality questioned.
We can sit and stand in any position as we like.
Can drink heavily without the risk of being raped in the ass.
We can drive.
Takes only 5 minutes to wake up, take a shower, get dressed, eat and get all our ski shit together for the day.
We can DEFEND ourselves.
Can be officers of the law or a part of the armed services and be taken seriously.
----2ond in Command of DANSA-----
To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
GW Award December 3, 2004
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hahahahah! those are great.
T'as pas d'amis. C'est con pour toi.
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*biting tongue reeeal hard*
T'as pas d'amis. C'est con pour toi.
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i really love that its perfect
skogenjake: i got owned hardcore. i though he was a real little cunt
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Can drink heavily without the risk of being raped in the ass.
We can drive.
both those are genious
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
Still no snow on the east coast.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
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someone's playing catch up haha
-Ira
Member No. 8857
Viva La Rèsistance
i think the hustle dance is pretty sick - DENALI44
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ahahhaha very true
member 9020
newbies are our future unless if we stop them now!
'dont fuck with me cause the last person that fucked with me....well they lived a pretty normal life'- misty7
'maybe i shold turn lesbien and get the girls'-misty7 'i can have sex with the snow'-misty7 on how winter will end his lonelyness
LOGIC HEADWEAR
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haha, very nice
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Rideeast.com
'Proud Member of the NS Praetorian Guard
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even though i am a girl and very much enjoy it, that list sure makes being a guy sound appealing...
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haha awesomeness, all of that is so true
Also known as ~Skier_Simon~
East Coast Skier
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that's an instant clasic. i love being a guy and having the ability to not care about anything.
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8 and 18 r the best
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'I guess this dick gets all spooked and yells out 'FUCK YOU!' to me. So, I stopped, and silently said the same to him.. via my middle fingers. I gave him the double birdie, and skied off, not thinking much of the situation.'- bigkstylie
i hate ski patrolers
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