Minor girlfriend problems- advice?

Posts: 4 - Karma: 189

Karma: 189

Posts: 4

Newb

So like every one else, my relationship has its ups and downs. Lately, one of the downs has been a bedroom issue (I'll try not to be too graphic). You see my girlfriend and I often engage in fellatio, from which she pulls the ol' "finger trick". I'm not ashamed to say it, it's feels great and makes the fireworks a lot better. The problem though, is she's sick of seeing my hairy, ashy skin. I've already shaved but the ashiness of course still remains. So my question is what's the cheapest anal bleach I can buy? I'm looking for the cheapest alternative (preferably something I can order online to save myself from that "cashier-sees-what-i'm-buying shame), even household means. Can I use regular old bleach to bleach my arsehole, or should I go with something store bought? I'm looking to spend under 5 dollars, any help???

Feb 26 2014 3:10AM

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Abc567def

Posts: 8756 - Karma: 801

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Crazy Fool

colour the rest of your body black

gain 2 horse power

profit?

Feb 26 2014 3:21AM

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swaggerboi

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Loner

Ive made a career of bleaching assholes. I can give you a few simple tips for no charge. The main thing to avoid is the plunger effect. This is when you are upside down pouring a bottle of bleach into your asshole and you "open up" so to speak. Then, a good amount of bleach will be suctioned into your rectum and have its way with your insides. My main tip is to wait until you need to take a shit. Push it to the brink without releasing it, and then start the bleaching process. The log of shit will act like a cork, and keep bleach from seeping down into your ass.

Feb 26 2014 4:40AM

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Laurent.

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Crazy Fool

You can use regular bleach, just make sure to drink it, the cells you are targeting are near the basal lamina, the layer on which the epithelium of the skin sits, if you apply directly to the skin the bleach will have to pass many layers to reach the target cells so you will not get a uniform result. Drinking it leads to a faster and more uniform bleaching since the bleach is absorbed directly into the bloodstream and neutralizes the body's ability to reject the bleach by sweating. The bleach only affects the most productive melanocytes which are located near the rectum and besides stunting their melanin production also flushes away any excess melanin.

Feb 26 2014 6:13AM

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humpty

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Insane

Quality first post

Feb 26 2014 7:07AM

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Iraq_Lobster

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Insane

lol

Feb 26 2014 8:53AM

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cornholio

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Addict

i never knew ashy meant your hole was dark

Feb 26 2014 9:01AM

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soulskier

Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841

Karma: 3,841

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Post Whore

Tell her to quit her whining and get back to work

Feb 26 2014 9:34AM

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galaxia

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Loner

i think your getting "the finger trick" confused with "getting your salad tossed". Why is your girlfriend mean mugging your brown eye during suckfest? i dont think you are doing it right

Feb 26 2014 9:39AM

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op14

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Insane

Suckfest?

Feb 26 2014 9:44AM

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galaxia

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Loner

jokes.

Sorry, forgot internet is serious buisness.

Fellatio. My bad

Feb 26 2014 9:47AM

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Barefootin_Fiend

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Crazy Fool

lol, i love it.

Feb 26 2014 9:57AM

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.AR6rider.

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Post Whore

I think everyone is missing the true issue presented in this thread.

Feb 26 2014 9:59AM

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op14

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Insane

I just wanted to know what you meant by suckfest. You can calm down now.

Feb 26 2014 10:05AM

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987321654hgfd

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No Life

Maybe she's a tranny?

Feb 26 2014 10:08AM

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galaxia

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Loner

lol if you dont know, then you probably need parental supervision on this website...

Feb 26 2014 10:09AM

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theBearJew

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Crazy Fool

I knew a guy who was on trannysurprise.com.. thats where they set you up with a girl, then you find out shes a tranny, surprise! He fucked her anyway. We all laughed. Then asked the guy who discovered this why he was on trannysurprise.com

Feb 26 2014 10:11AM

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op14

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Insane

Not really... I've never heard that term before because it sounds like something a fucking middle schooler would say. You're trying to hard to insult me.

Feb 26 2014 10:15AM

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JAHBRADOR

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Addict

i hate you already.

Feb 26 2014 10:15AM

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op14

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Insane

Watch out, she'll down vote your karma like she did to me!

Feb 26 2014 10:19AM

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CaptainObvious.

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No Life

I read this and kinda went, "Oh.....shit....." You've got the knowledge to actually make drinking bleach sound convincing to a 12-year-old.

RIP OP.

Feb 26 2014 10:36AM

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SFB

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Crazy Fool

it was so convincing i ended up drinking 3 two gallon containers of bleach and can vouch for how effective and safe it was. my buthoal is squeaky clean now, thanks omnidata

Feb 26 2014 10:45AM

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CaptainObvious.

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No Life

Feb 26 2014 10:49AM

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Bart.Man

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Insane

You shouldn't be doing that with a minor girlfriend.

Feb 26 2014 10:53AM

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SFB

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Crazy Fool

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Feb 26 2014 10:54AM

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swoger

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Ridiculous

I would suggest you stay away from anything like that until marriage

Feb 26 2014 12:17PM

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Peter.

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@th1337

so your girlfriend is a minor, and doesn't like when you have a dark poopchute?

Feb 26 2014 12:22PM

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Chewy.

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No Life

I think I know, but do you wanna show me so I can be sure?

Feb 26 2014 1:08PM

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John18_6

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Crazy Fool

I need pics before I can give advice.

Feb 26 2014 1:35PM

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whoa-dere

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Crazy Fool

make sure the bleach gets to the inside of your butthole

Feb 26 2014 3:50PM

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op14

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Insane

this face

Feb 26 2014 6:00PM

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JordanButtfart

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Insane

From what I've heard it is not a good feeling to have chemickals in your butt, don't do it OP.

Feb 26 2014 6:07PM

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fupaface

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Insane

Clearly you've had your finger up a mans ass hole before.

And OP your gonna need a carrot and a bleach pen
1. Insert carrot directly into rectum
2. Apply generous amount of bleach(using your bleach pen) directly to sphincter.
3. Go outside point your ass up into the air, as to let the solar radiation set the bleach.
4. After 20 minutes ass up in the sun, remove carrot and feed it to your girlfriend.

Feb 26 2014 6:12PM

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