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My Mom Just Texted Me Saying I'm Adopted

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RimJobber
Posts: 3313 - Karma: 10,058
I'm 19 and in class right now and my mom is at work and she just sent me a text "I haven't been 100% honest with you. You're adopted"
Not sure if she's trolling me hard or if I really am
Jan 31 2014 2:11PM
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Wallisch_pl
Posts: 5260 - Karma: 1,022
3rd page
Feb 1 2014 12:47AM
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NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409
Plot twist: Apparently I'm your dad and I have sent you a bunch of pictures?

If that's the case then:
Click for larger image

But seriously man, hopefully you're all good through this. Pretty odd series of events, and why a mom would do something like that is weird.












And if we're being trolled:
Click for larger image

Don't make me cause I'm fully capable of using force lightning.
Feb 1 2014 12:54AM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
Obvious troll is obvious
Feb 1 2014 1:18AM
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,352
this thread is fake and dumb.
Feb 1 2014 1:39AM
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-MK-
Posts: 3253 - Karma: 5,332
Just like your mothers breasts. HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAAHhaA IM SO FUCKING HILARIOUS OOHHHH HHAHAHA
Feb 1 2014 1:40AM
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,352
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Feb 1 2014 1:42AM
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-MK-
Posts: 3253 - Karma: 5,332
do it.
Feb 1 2014 1:44AM
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Jeebus.
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 5,822
>Changed a friends contact to mom
>Had him text you saying you were adopted
>Takes screenshot
>Makes fake thread

Feb 1 2014 1:50AM
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taylornicky
Posts: 2889 - Karma: 2,579
I'm one of Kody's really close friends, and I can vouch for this being true... He called me earlier not knowing what to do when he was out driving around. I can't even imagine having this happen to me--especially at this age.
vibes ma man kody
it'll get better.
Feb 1 2014 1:54AM
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CaptainObvious.
Posts: 5712 - Karma: 20,638
Everything will get better Kody. In time. It sucjs right now but one day you'll wake up and this shitty day will be a memory. Keep waking up for that day.
Feb 1 2014 1:58AM
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Ribss.
Posts: 3442 - Karma: 3,344
Drive up to incline and get irie.
Feb 1 2014 2:22AM
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SteezoSaurus
Posts: 2630 - Karma: 2,670
Your karma just went from 0 to 10 because of this post.
Feb 1 2014 5:55AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
uhuhuhu, dominthebutt just vouched for rimjobbers story


Click for larger image

actually, while were at it, i think playing OP in a movie about this thread's story (fake or not) is out of ryan goslings acting range.
Feb 1 2014 7:02AM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I'm just laughing my ass off at this name. Sounds like his mom has been trolling him from day one.
Feb 1 2014 7:18AM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
So OP is adopted? Sister as well?
Feb 1 2014 9:07AM
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90053
Posts: 2565 - Karma: 3,728
threadz
Feb 1 2014 10:01AM
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CrotchKiller
Posts: 9037 - Karma: 6,943
Omg! Kody with a K is so funny!
Feb 1 2014 10:15AM
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goodnoooo
Posts: 555 - Karma: 2,075
i love you kody <3
Feb 1 2014 10:26AM
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Wallisch_pl
Posts: 5260 - Karma: 1,022
To those concerned. Please, help yourself. When I see heaven I see the lucky charms commercial. For those who have been to heaven you know what I am pertaining to. If you want to be healthy you go to the hospital. Life is a long experience, and is fragile like a beach, you can play for hours in the beach, but you get mad when sand sticks to your feet. Squid ward. Television controls every life, as well as the government in that specificate city-state. As told in ancient Egypt: you must fight to win like when you play those 25¢ games at the movie theater, and then you watch the movie and you gain information. Some drugs are satan drugs, others help you get closer to god. No matter how flat you make a pancake it still has 2 sides. If you're on the hot highway, you try to get off on the cool grass. Try to say goodbye when the time is to the right. Mash
Feb 1 2014 10:29AM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
Not everyone can have a cookie cutter name like Sam.
Feb 1 2014 10:30AM
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caderobinson
Posts: 1193 - Karma: 4,770
Soo are you actually adopted or not?? Vibes if you are and had to find out this way
Feb 1 2014 11:50AM
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Bagina
Posts: 849 - Karma: 2,888
Wow, your "mom" seems like a cunt. Vibes Kody with a K.
Feb 1 2014 12:12PM
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Chewy.
Posts: 4113 - Karma: 4,856
That crazy, sorry man.
Feb 1 2014 4:31PM
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proZach
Posts: 7163 - Karma: 919
Hahahahahahaha
Feb 1 2014 4:53PM
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DIX~
Posts: 4695 - Karma: 6,502
I can't imagine taking a grown man named Kody seriously ever
Feb 1 2014 5:07PM
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TheBigApple
Posts: 1169 - Karma: 488
Maybe stop being such a twat and start trying in school and learning the value of what you have been provided in life.
Feb 1 2014 7:27PM
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roddy116
Posts: 10627 - Karma: 7,423
you are adopted, so what? of fall you know you could be dead if you were left in an orphanage.
Feb 1 2014 9:25PM
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-WZ-
Posts: 3600 - Karma: 6,582
kunt*
Feb 1 2014 11:50PM
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Raptor.
Posts: 784 - Karma: 255
Sorry to break it to you, but it turns out you're adopted
Feb 2 2014 12:52AM
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Geb
Posts: 114 - Karma: 50
Relax! It's only AR6
Feb 2 2014 1:01AM
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Espen519
Posts: 552 - Karma: 969
That's so messed up that someone would say that, I'm so sorry dude
Feb 2 2014 1:29AM
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-MK-
Posts: 3253 - Karma: 5,332
Says the member with 80 posts. But your bio kind of says you might know what your talking about
Feb 2 2014 2:07AM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4798 - Karma: -676
Kody man sorry about this shit sandwich you got served up. Next time Im back in Reno I'll but you a couple beers at Fantasy Girls if thats any consolation.
Feb 2 2014 2:34AM
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-MK-
Posts: 3253 - Karma: 5,332
How the fuck can you afford stripper and beer but not skis you didn't get for $5 at a consignment shop
Feb 2 2014 2:40AM
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STwoops
Posts: 2941 - Karma: 5,126
failsafe troll
Feb 2 2014 2:55AM
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Mag
Posts: 8155 - Karma: 14,809
Having only sent/received one text makes me suspicious, also the way your mum brought it about(as though shouting I'm not your mum~was preemptive). Though idk, if it's true that sucks, hopefully just a bad day.
Feb 2 2014 6:23AM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
DID YOU TALK TO YOUR MOM YET??!?
Feb 2 2014 9:38AM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,297
Reno is a magical place shrouded in mystery and lore.
Feb 2 2014 10:52AM
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UphillIce
Posts: 123 - Karma: 138
Wait, so did she just find out your were adopted too?
Feb 2 2014 11:17AM
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shocker611
Posts: 2599 - Karma: 423
holy shit I lost
Feb 2 2014 12:29PM
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-MK-
Posts: 3253 - Karma: 5,332
You might be the biggest fuck up on the face of the earth
Feb 2 2014 1:25PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
Am I the only one who doesn't think it matters if you're adopted or not? I mean, who cares what twat you slipped out of. Your parents took care of you and raised you.

I've never understood the people who are on such a desperate hunt to find their original parents or their ancestry and all that. You don't know them what's it matter?
Feb 2 2014 1:37PM
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UphillIce
Posts: 123 - Karma: 138
"...and she screamed "well at least I dont have to care anymore since I'm not your real mom""

Cliff Notes:
-Sentence doesn't make sense as an utterance for someone who 1. Must know the birth status of OP since birth but apparently cared before. 2. Is not actually legally obligated to OP regardless of birth status due to OP's age (19)
-Implies OP may not be recounting events exactly as they exist in reality.
Feb 2 2014 1:58PM
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elinde
Posts: 1466 - Karma: 3,048
Well all things aside, I think it's safe to say she didn't just find out he was adopted because, uh, you know, she might remember giving birth to him?
Feb 2 2014 3:53PM
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hippy.
Posts: 3106 - Karma: 14,364
Click for larger image
Feb 2 2014 4:15PM
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Kimmler
Posts: 1316 - Karma: 623
.
Feb 2 2014 4:42PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,983
If it turns out you actually are trolling I'll be a little disappointed



But if you're serious then you can get the pinknames like no other
Feb 2 2014 4:45PM
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UphillIce
Posts: 123 - Karma: 138
I feel like I'm in that Zoolander scene where one of the roommates asks if Hansel has ever heard of styling gel...
Feb 2 2014 4:57PM
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asapCferg
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 358
i'm so curious
Feb 2 2014 6:20PM
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