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Dark humor

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Halo1junkie
Posts: 202 - Karma: 435
The was thinking about the "my dick is like an airplane" joke the other day, and i think that the kind of people who say it isnt funny because they view themselves as mature, actually dont find it funny because they have lost their youthful spark of creativity like they talk about in trainspotting.
Thoughts?
Jan 26 2014 4:39PM
207 27
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Miomo
Posts: 4302 - Karma: 14,133
I think those people are like airplanes, if you nowhmsayin
Jan 26 2014 4:43PM
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Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1843 - Karma: 1,917
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Jan 26 2014 4:59PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,297
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree?

1 baby nailed to 10 trees.
Jan 26 2014 5:22PM
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Halo1junkie
Posts: 202 - Karma: 435
Uh oh i see where this thread is going
Jan 26 2014 5:39PM
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Wolfgang.
Posts: 807 - Karma: 866
I always like to think that, immature is a word used by boring people to describe fun people.
Jan 26 2014 5:50PM
2 1
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5900 - Karma: 3,630
How do you get a baby into a bowl?

A blender

How do you get him out?

Tostitos!
Jan 26 2014 5:59PM
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Wallisch_pl
Posts: 5260 - Karma: 1,022
What's black and eats a lot of pussy? Cervical c@nsor
Jan 26 2014 6:01PM
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Halo1junkie
Posts: 202 - Karma: 435
Yeah thats the way i see it
Jan 26 2014 6:02PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,297
Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

I don't fuck a watermelon before I eat it.
Jan 26 2014 6:14PM
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S.M.G
Posts: 446 - Karma: 1,448
one is really fun to hit with a sledge hammer

the other's a watermelon
Jan 26 2014 6:30PM
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Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1843 - Karma: 1,917
How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Nail it's other hand to the floor
Jan 26 2014 6:36PM
2 1
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-WZ-
Posts: 3600 - Karma: 6,582
why did susie fall of the swing?
she had no arms l o l

Jan 26 2014 6:49PM
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CashmereCat
Posts: 2211 - Karma: 2,394
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
Jan 26 2014 6:55PM
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GnarNinja
Posts: 660 - Karma: 884
[IMGhttp://www.thecleanslate.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Trainspotting.jpg[/IMG]
Jan 26 2014 7:00PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
Like gallows humor?
I have a bad case of that
Jan 26 2014 7:28PM
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Cthulhu
Posts: 528 - Karma: 21
the instant i found out i joked that paul walkers next movie will be "Too Fast Too Stop", slightly relevant, goodbye
Jan 26 2014 11:00PM
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mrbillgates
Posts: 153 - Karma: 303
Did you hear Paul Walker had dandruff?

They found his "Head and Shoulders" in the glove compartment.
Jan 26 2014 11:04PM
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,352
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Jan 26 2014 11:06PM
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DIPED_IN_SAUCE
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,256
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Jan 26 2014 11:09PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,662
what do you do if an epileptic is having a fit in your bathtub?


toss is your laundry
Jan 26 2014 11:20PM
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Halo1junkie
Posts: 202 - Karma: 435
I laughed for a solid minute
Jan 26 2014 11:27PM
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ABalls
Posts: 2091 - Karma: 3,754
whats the difference between 10 dead babies and a ferrari? i dont have a ferrari in my garage.
Jan 26 2014 11:53PM
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JeremyClarkson
Posts: 1599 - Karma: 1,934
How do you know your sister is on her period?

Your dads cock tastes like blood.
Jan 27 2014 12:00AM
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,175
How do you stop a baby from crying?

Smack it with a shovel.


Where did Mary go after the bombing?

Everywhere
Jan 27 2014 12:31AM
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,175
*during the bombing
Jan 27 2014 12:32AM
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Bart.Man
Posts: 1742 - Karma: 1,952
Hands down, the raunchiest joke I've ever heard:

So I'm eating this girl out, and all of a sudden I taste horse semen.

And I'm like, "Grandma! So that's how you died!"

Needless to say, it made the rest of the funeral very awkward.
Jan 27 2014 12:42AM
9 1
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NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409
I wish I could find video of it but Bill Hader does this awesome joke, writing it out kills it for me though.

"I recently got in trouble for having sex with a minor........uhh, a coal miner. She, she was only 13."
Jan 27 2014 12:43AM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
When i ran the Boston marathon last year i was so tired I thought my legs were going to fall off.

I like my women like i like my coffee - Ground up and in the freezer.

whats better than winning the special olympics? - Not being retarded.

Why couldnt Helen Keller Drive? - Shes a woman.

I remember partying in OKC in 1995. Man, what a blast that was.

Thats all i got for now.
Jan 27 2014 1:04AM
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Stose
Posts: 7109 - Karma: 4,123
What's the difference between a black guy and a tire. A tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it
Jan 27 2014 2:14AM
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Bateman
Posts: 8591 - Karma: 8,600
something something a bench can support a family
Jan 27 2014 2:25AM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
What do ethiopoan children do at night?
Jan 27 2014 2:40AM
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Squirtle
Posts: 288 - Karma: 1,584
What's the best part about fucking twenty eight year olds?

There's Twenty of them.
Jan 27 2014 11:37AM
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bfulmer
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 1,975
WHAT
Jan 27 2014 11:55AM
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Evan.A
Posts: 89 - Karma: 349
How do you make a baby float?
Take your foot off its head.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Jan 27 2014 12:57PM
1 1
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Blummis22
Posts: 22 - Karma: 231
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor
Jan 27 2014 1:06PM
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Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1843 - Karma: 1,917
STARVE
Jan 27 2014 1:54PM
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Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1843 - Karma: 1,917
STARVE
Jan 27 2014 1:54PM
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MEDSKI.XXX
Posts: 312 - Karma: 403
How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail it other hand to the ground

What's the difference between a dead baby and a freezer?

One I pack meat into, the other one is a freezer
Jan 27 2014 4:21PM
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Guck
Posts: 528 - Karma: 221
How many babies does it take to paint a house?

It depends how hard you throw them
Jan 27 2014 4:30PM
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Miomo
Posts: 4302 - Karma: 14,133
What's red, squeels, and is covered in pus?

A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Jan 27 2014 5:09PM
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hurrdurr
Posts: 349 - Karma: 29
Reminds me of this one;

I like my women like I like my whiskey- 12 years old and kept in a barrel
Jan 27 2014 5:45PM
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fishstamp
Posts: 29 - Karma: 161
whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies

i don't have a ferrari in my garage.
Jan 27 2014 6:23PM
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Halo1junkie
Posts: 202 - Karma: 435
Read the thread you jondis, this already got posted
Jan 27 2014 6:26PM
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Toaster-Tony
Posts: 3531 - Karma: 5,850
I just blurted out "oh my god" in the middle of a lecture. And I thought I heard em all..
Jan 27 2014 6:27PM
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Halo1junkie
Posts: 202 - Karma: 435
I just texted my brother a picture of it dumping in breck and he texted me back a picture of a dump he took with text "so am i"
Jan 27 2014 6:41PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
http://media.newschoolers.com/uploads/images/17/00/65/66/74/656674.jpeg
bet it's not as big as mine
Jan 27 2014 6:52PM
0 1
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CottonPuff
Posts: 377 - Karma: 105
What does an Ethiopian do with a bag of rice?

Open a restaurant.

What makes an Ethiopian jealous?

Seeing his buddy take a shit.
Jan 27 2014 7:19PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
I think I have a different view on dark humor than most people here
Jan 27 2014 7:21PM
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DirtYStylE
Posts: 3652 - Karma: 8,888
When is it a bad time to take a shower?




During the holocaust
Jan 27 2014 8:35PM
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steezburgereddie
Posts: 1059 - Karma: 1,945
6 million people agree with that.
Jan 27 2014 9:23PM
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