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How to mess with someone's car (not too serious)

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dom_daq
Posts: 371 - Karma: 440
So at my highschool, we have a senior parking lot (seniors only even though there are extra spaces every day and juniors would buy passes if it was allowed). We also have a rule that you can only go off grounds as a senior.

As a junior, I have been successfully going off grounds (avoiding cameras, security etc) all fall until today. Today all of the juniors parked in senior lot (about 10) get called down to the office. Get the whole warning thing we will tow next time.

So recently, we just learned that this fucker (senior) ratted on us and basically gave the school a list of names. So now they are trying to shut our shit down and we are pretty pissed. Even the seniors are basically all on our side.

So i have a question for you newschoolers; how should we mess with his car/him? I want to straight up fight him but he's too pussy and I will get suspended if I fight in school so for now that's not much of an option. Ideas?
Jan 22 2014 9:42PM
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dom_daq
Posts: 371 - Karma: 440
Good responses the kids actually really gay(not quite out of the closet yet) so dildo ones are good. Probably gonna do it this weekend so I'll let you guys know what I go with
Jan 23 2014 7:42AM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
Click for larger image
Jan 23 2014 7:45AM
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sNaubi
Posts: 1633 - Karma: 2,357
1.buy a can of plasti dip.
2.make a dick template.
3.spray dicks all over the car.

The best part is, if he calls the cops on you for vandalizing his car, just go to the car and peel it of and say now what?
Jan 23 2014 8:18AM
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skia4life89
Posts: 2400 - Karma: 172
Heres an idea.

Get 4 bb's that you would use in a bb gun.
-Unscrew all of the valve caps
-Place bb's inside of valve caps
-Screw valve caps back on

By the time he gets out of class, all 4 tires will be flat and probably have to get it towed because he will think that someone had slashed them. This will get him good without destroying anything.
Jan 23 2014 8:18AM
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sNaubi
Posts: 1633 - Karma: 2,357
forgot to add, the reason why he'd call the cops on you is because he wont know its plasti dip, he'll think its actual color that won't be removeable
Jan 23 2014 8:20AM
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40oz.
Posts: 1758 - Karma: 555
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO MESS WITH SOMEONES CAR BUT TOTALLY DONT WANT TO FUCK IT UP, THERES ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY TO DO. GO BUY A HUGE BLOCK OF EXTRA SHARP CHEDDAR CHEESE OR BLUE CHEESE OR SOME STRONG/POTENT CHEESE AND IM SAYING A HUGE BLOCK FROM SOMEWHERE LIKE SAM's CLUB. AND UNPACKAGED IT AND CRAWL UNDER THEIR CAR AND PLACE IT ON TOP OF THE MUFFLER. THE CHEESE WILL EVENTUALLY GET HOT, MELT, ROT, AND IT PRODUCES THE WORST FUCKING SMELL EVER AND ITS SO HARD TO FIND OUT WHERE ITS COMING FROM, IF NO ONE TELLS THEM! It's great ;)
Jan 23 2014 8:30AM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Make sure you throw up the Wu Tang sign with your hands and tell him you're nothing to fuck with after you get him so he'll know how hood you are. Make sure nobody at school sees you, though. Wouldn't want to get suspended for throwing up gang signs!
Jan 23 2014 9:45AM
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arnie_grape
Posts: 3451 - Karma: 11,678
your school sounds like a prison

wait for a hot sunny day and cover his car in baloney. make a cool design or a dick or something.
Jan 23 2014 9:46AM
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smooter
Posts: 1121 - Karma: 1,368
-a handful of flour to the windshield
-vasaline under the door handles
Jan 23 2014 9:56AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51621 - Karma: 162,059
Put it in the pool. I heard it takes a a mattress to get it out
Jan 23 2014 10:00AM
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chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,123
pebble under the tire valve cap.
potato in exhaust pipe.
cover the exhaust in grease or something else that will smoke a lot
take a shit on his hood
Jan 23 2014 10:08AM
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Kev-Kev.
Posts: 680 - Karma: 34
First, have your mother cook you a mean pot of chili. Eat said chili. Shit into a ziplock bag. Ram rod that shit up his exhaust. Winning.
Jan 23 2014 10:29AM
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BBurt
Posts: 1588 - Karma: 3,779
So doing this ahahaha
Jan 23 2014 10:33AM
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Wizerd
Posts: 908 - Karma: 6,695
Well one time when my aunt was in college, she and friends wrapped a car in Toilet paper, then someone (unknown) lit it on fire and her car exploded in flames. Just don't do that
Jan 23 2014 11:51AM
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snowpocalypse
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 3,525
If said guy is of that persuasion, you my friend will be charged with a Hate Crime. Good luck with that.
Jan 23 2014 12:24PM
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disastertourism
Posts: 2402 - Karma: 135
shit on the wind shield
shit on the hood
shit on the roof
put shit under the handles
Jan 23 2014 12:45PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51621 - Karma: 162,059
Idk if it's been mentioned but shockingly OP sounds kind of like a bitch.
Jan 23 2014 1:14PM
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
or you could not be a pussy and actually slash them
Jan 23 2014 1:53PM
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MNjordanG
Posts: 67 - Karma: 22
so their car wont be able to work ever again? Great thinking brother.
Jan 23 2014 2:06PM
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Bart.Man
Posts: 1742 - Karma: 1,952
Hate crime law (where I live at least) doesn't include homosexuals. Last I heard, anyway.
Jan 23 2014 2:08PM
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geosom
Posts: 157 - Karma: 1,643
THIS WORKS SO WELL>

put a heavy duty ZIP-tie around the drive chain. Makes a weird ass clicking noise. Your buddy will take it to get fixed and will look like an idiot.
Jan 28 2014 6:23PM
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Crispy.
Posts: 6109 - Karma: 7,683
Put a potato in his exhaust pipe
Jan 28 2014 6:39PM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
Funnel poop into his A/C vents. Not even a febreeze clip could save him.
Jan 28 2014 9:25PM
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OGoriginal-gaper
Posts: 354 - Karma: 86
pull the bottom radiator hose, so he overheats and cooks his head haha (nah better not do that), but maybe just take of 1 or 2 wheels and chuck them away from the car or something.
Jan 29 2014 6:21AM
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CluckaChuck
Posts: 1541 - Karma: 734
Genious!
Jan 29 2014 8:40AM
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UphillIce
Posts: 123 - Karma: 138
Get a really loud safety whistle and table it with black electrical tape to the frame somewhere where it's hard to see, but will get airflow. As he gets up to speed it will start to whistle really loudly, but if you've placed/taped it well, it should be really hard to find/figure out.
Jan 29 2014 10:49AM
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itsbenyo
Posts: 106 - Karma: 214
cling wrap baloney to his car!! if you wanna be a dick that is.
Jan 29 2014 10:58AM
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HuckNorris44
Posts: 1025 - Karma: 2,393
get a ton of pennies and scatter them across all the flat surfaces of his car. If hes smart, he'll sit there and pick every single one off by hand. If not and he just wipes them off, they will put a ton of little tiny scratches on his car.
Jan 29 2014 2:41PM
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Masta_Baka
Posts: 649 - Karma: 162
Okay this is simple and will fuck his world up with no harm done. Get a few extra large zip ties, zip tie them to the drive shaft under the car. When he drives it will sound like the whole underneath of his car is falling off. cheap and does no harm to the car.
Jan 29 2014 9:44PM
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
serious ones dude, lold at some of the ones on here tho.

>wrap saran wrap around
>if it's cold, which i'm assuming it is because its January and you ski, dip cotton balls in water and stick them on the car, they freeze to it.
>put an ass ton of snow on top and hood
>cover it with post-it notes
>any sticky substances people mentioned so far (vaseline, petroleum jelly, syrup, peanut butter)
>get a huge ziptie and tie it to driveshaft (or whatever the fuck it's called, I don't do cars) underneath. When it spins it'll clang against the bottom of the car, and he'll think the engine is fucked up.
>piss on handles if its really cold
>put "prom?" notes/signs on the girls cars, from the senior guys

Jan 29 2014 9:49PM
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Harry_Twatter
Posts: 36 - Karma: 370
put a piece of fish under the hood or under the seat(kids are stupid and leave there cars unlocked in the school parking lot)the kid wont know what hit him when the smell kicks in plus that dead fish smell is almost impossible to get out even if he were to find it.
Jan 29 2014 11:38PM
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JaimeK325
Posts: 1 - Karma: 6
I am a female and have messed with many people's cars who have pissed me off. If there are no cameras and no one can hear or see you take a pair of pliers to his valve stems. Do 2 so that he would be stuck. It will make a loud pop.

Basically, the tires will be ruined. If you might get caught or need to move quick put cooking oil in a zip lock bag. Drop it all over the windshield. It is is winter buy lard, Crisco, or coconut oil. Melt it in the microwave and put it in a plastic zip lock bag. Dump it all over the windshield and mirrors. It will turn into thick grease and is impossible to get off.
If you want to let a car get a screw, sharpen it against a nail file, or a knife sharpener, test it out on a can first. This one is a little noisy so be careful. If you have a dog take him/her for a walk while you do this. Also dog shit is the one that works the best. Put it over the vents, on the windows, door handles, trunk.
Liquid ass works wonders. He will never get the smell out. Have a friend order it for you so it isn't traceable. Squirt it into the black rubber seals on the windows. Put some over the vents, on the grill. The car will smell like a colostomy bag.
I have been a long term resident of a city home in the hood. When the area became rich all of these assholes moved in and took my parking spot everyday. I asked them politely to park at their apartment building, left notes on their cars.
Nothing worked. One morning cops were pounding on the door. My husband stupidly answered it and said we don't have a car. There are no cameras on my street. I laid low on my street but went and found these idiots cars and put dog shit on them again to confuse the cops.
When my car was ruined, broken into, mirrors ruined, tires flattened, scratched, the cops did nothing. Now that the area is gentrified everyone sends emails and calls the police station.
My advice, be careful! Do this at 2am. Look for cameras, house lights on. You will be more successful on a Friday or Saturday night when everyone sleeps late the next day. People who are running late for work do not have time to phone the cops and wait either. Do the passenger side of the car. They won't know when or where it happened.
Aug 23 2018 3:35AM
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clorox
Posts: 1728 - Karma: 4,863
cut thin strips of sandpaper and glue it to the bottom of his wiper blades. Prob won't notice til the next time it rains/snows. Lay a couple of 1cmish long strips to concentrate more force to one area to cause a deeper scratch or just stick long strips to cause small scratches all over the windshield. If he is less likely going to fix it long term due it to being on the passenger side, you may even be able to cause an accident caused by the potential blind spot.

Have fun and be safe! Your actions have consequences!
Aug 24 2018 9:24PM
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TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12506 - Karma: 116,112
siphon all his gasoline. that'll teach him
Aug 24 2018 10:26PM
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1776
Posts: 728 - Karma: 2,314
Drill holes in muffler
Aug 25 2018 12:39AM
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WoFIowz
Posts: 9788 - Karma: 72,405
Read this entire thread to learn op never said what he did. ..
Aug 25 2018 1:46AM
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skialpental
Posts: 248 - Karma: 38
don't be a pussy I poured blood red paint over a dudes windshield when he fucked with me, you won't get caught and u can laugh. Don't pour any on ur foot tho or you'll be caught red footed
Aug 25 2018 1:56AM
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.SHAGGY.
Posts: 1068 - Karma: 3,280
Either piss or jerk off on his door handle
Sep 8 2018 2:50AM
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CharmCityGirl
Posts: 1 - Karma: 6
Expandofoam in the tailpipe does the trick really nicely:)
Nov 19 2020 1:35PM
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thateastcoastski
Posts: 63 - Karma: 194
saran wrap the car or crack some eggs on it on a hot ass day
Nov 19 2020 3:37PM
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