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Parental Dissapointment

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cope+
Posts: 763 - Karma: 870
Ill keep this short. So after this semester of college ( my 2nd) I'm planing on dropping out with no plans to return in the near future. My parents have been funding my education completly so there is sure to be a bit of dissapointment on their end.

How do you guys deal with this?
Jan 17 2014 2:38PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
You are a disappointment. Better suck it up and learn to live on your own.
Jan 17 2014 2:39PM
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yelsel
Posts: 12967 - Karma: 3,451
sack up and start being an adult?
Jan 17 2014 2:39PM
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cbj
Posts: 2114 - Karma: 1,136
Why are you dropping out? Too hard? Just switch programs into business or something easy like that.
Jan 17 2014 2:40PM
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cope+
Posts: 763 - Karma: 870
Not too hard im just not happy...

And its not that i cant live on my own, i just feel bad for essentially wasting 30k of my parents cash
Jan 17 2014 2:43PM
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RubberSoul
Posts: 11249 - Karma: 14,642
dude i promise you that in a few years you would HATE yourself for dropping out

i have a friend who fucked around in this respect and you wouldn't believe how ashamed and disappointed he is now

youre part of a small group of people who gets to go to college (not to mention on your parents' dime) and learn about cool shit, meet all kinds of people, and have fun...don't blow it for some stupid temporary emotion or thought youre having right now
Jan 17 2014 2:43PM
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Turkelton
Posts: 2829 - Karma: 8,558
Get ready to become a NEET
see you on /r9k/ soon
Jan 17 2014 2:43PM
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cbj
Posts: 2114 - Karma: 1,136
I would feel bad too. What is your plan otherwise?
Jan 17 2014 2:45PM
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PM4FreeJiberish
Posts: 447 - Karma: 3,533
Pay them back.
Jan 17 2014 3:03PM
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Bensun
Posts: 480 - Karma: 1,654
WARNING!dont drop out!!!! I have a friend that did and he is stuck working construction for his dads company and at a shitty community college. He was happy in college but got tired of the work and started failing. Now he miserable because most of his friends are in college and he is bored all day.
Jan 17 2014 3:12PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,806
I would make you pay me back, honestly.
Jan 17 2014 3:12PM
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Dr.Dickless
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 1,392
Who would have thought that NS would suggest not dropping out? Weird Anyways OP, do what you feel is best, you can always go back later on if you want to, college isn't for everyone and most people never go and end up just fine
Jan 17 2014 3:14PM
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yelsel
Posts: 12967 - Karma: 3,451
Right after I kicked him out of the house.
Jan 17 2014 3:16PM
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the.hellion.
Posts: 861 - Karma: 698
I did this. Twice. Not because I couldn't hack it though... It just wasn't for me. There are numerous articles deriding a bloated academic system that does a really good job of committing information to memory but does very little to actually train graduates for the real world. Thus, there are increasing numbers of un or underemployed university graduates stuck without access to the job market high school guidance counsellors and university admissions offices promised.

Do whatever you want. But be prepared to live on your own. It's not always fun, and it will be harder than you think it's going to be but if you really want to do something you can figure it out. Get the cheapest apartment you can... Small towns are cheaper than the cities, but have shit for transportation. Cooking your own food is actually cheaper and the freezer will save you from eating the same meal for a week.
Jan 17 2014 3:23PM
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Bart.Man
Posts: 1742 - Karma: 1,952
Honestly, appreciate the investment that your parents are making in your future. I'm usually an advocate for doing what makes you happy (to an extent), but if you do drop out you'll be far less happy, I'd imagine. Consider other options if your current situation isn't satisfying.

Find a new program, study what will make you happy.
Transfer schools, if it's the school that's getting you down
Find an activity to bond with people over (along with skiing, obviously)
Try new things, and if you like them, stick with them.

It is hard, but as someone else said, it's not designed to be easy. Take it in stride and explore your options.
Jan 17 2014 3:24PM
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the.hellion.
Posts: 861 - Karma: 698
Sorry for the dub-post but - if it's really killing you to be there, if it's really not working out for you then leave. But don't pussy out if you can make it through.
Jan 17 2014 3:25PM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,299
i dropped out, for more real reasons than OP's, but even though i really couldnt go back to school, i wish i never would have left. So glad i get to back to college in a few months, but i feel like ive wasted the entire year ive been out of school. Maybe identify what you don't like about your situation and figure out how change that but stay in school, even if its a different school. Fuck maybe just decide where you want to live and go to community college for a year. But don't drop out unless you have to.
Jan 17 2014 3:30PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,806
The biggest issue here is you're on your parents dime, out of respect you need to involve them in your decision making.
Jan 17 2014 3:33PM
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louie.mirags
Posts: 6015 - Karma: 5,027
I fucked up my first two semesters of college. After feeling like a failure I joined the military. It fucking sucks when you're out to sea and your friends are throwing bangers in college. Actually, a lot more sucked than that (off-topic). Now I'm out, living back with the 'rents and in college for round 2. I wish I was this motivated for round 1. Granted I'm skiing a bunch, and my friends are jealous of my free time. But, I'm jealous of some of them for having real paying jobs. Usually I'd say do what your heart desires. It sounds like you're just being lazy though. Suck it up.

tl;dr The real world is going to bunch you in the balls.
Jan 17 2014 11:33PM
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Halo1junkie
Posts: 202 - Karma: 435
Go work at a ski resort
Jan 18 2014 12:43AM
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CassiusClay
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 2
I think far too many people believe college prepares you for the real world. College gives you a dose of meeting deadlines/putting together reports etc. it should not (and does not, to your point) prepare you for the 'real world'.

I also believe far too many people expect college to do that, which hurts them.

Continue school, realize you're not prepared but don't blame it on schooling.
Jan 18 2014 1:02AM
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miroz
Posts: 10333 - Karma: 3,945
College gives you the tools and opportunities to prepare yourself, but it won't do it for you. It is what you make it, and that's what makes some graduates exceptional.

OP, snwbrdmilf's right on this one. You should talk to your parents before making a decision like this. And if you decide to do it, you should pay them back.
Jan 18 2014 1:48AM
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Rusticles
Posts: 2180 - Karma: 1,337
Almost all of my friends got degrees after HS, I think maybe 3 or 4 of them are using them now
Jan 18 2014 1:58AM
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louie.mirags
Posts: 6015 - Karma: 5,027
what is your point? If you have 5 friends, that is pretty good.
Jan 18 2014 2:05AM
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Rusticles
Posts: 2180 - Karma: 1,337
But if it's 50 people it tells you a lot of people either don't finish their first education or don't use it so don't worry to much about it.
Jan 18 2014 7:23AM
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bfulmer
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 1,975
There are people all over the world who would literally kill to be given this opportunity, and you are going to throw it away (along with 30k of your parent's cash) because you aren't happy after your freshman year? Are you fucking kidding me?

Give it at least a couple more semesters, don't be such a pussy.
Jan 18 2014 7:48AM
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dela
Posts: 63 - Karma: 102
I've noticed that when people go to college their freshman year, they either absolutely love it or absolutely hate it.  There is never any "ehh ya know, schools not bad, I can take it or leave it". 

Because of this, there is always a group that love it to much and the group that hate it to much, these people usually either fail out or drop out.

Freshman year is more about getting used to your surroundings, maybe you're just not acclimated to the new environment yet.  Stick it out until next year, by then you'll definitely be grounded somewhere within the campus and you'll start to like it.  I mean what ISN'T there to like about college.
Jan 18 2014 10:38AM
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.nasty
Posts: 10582 - Karma: 11,182
yeah seriously. I dropped an algebra class my first year of college just because the teacher didn't care to actually teach and my rents made me pay them back for the class.
Jan 18 2014 11:04AM
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Astomp
Posts: 10090 - Karma: 344
I did it. It also ended with me telling them I don't believe in the religion they raised me in. We didn't talk for 3 months and I paid for everything on my own after that and our relationship is better then ever.

Jan 18 2014 11:28AM
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howlongcanausern
Posts: 4982 - Karma: 1,737
*I was too lazy/dumb to learn the material by myself

Jan 18 2014 12:14PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
30k for two semesters??? why the fuck did you go to Yale if you were gonna drop out
Jan 18 2014 12:31PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
With the exception of the "profession" majors (engineering, Medecine, Law, Sciences) college is much more of a social education than an academic one.

Learn to interact and enjoy people from different backgrounds. Be able to speak competently on a variety of subjects and learn what kind of people and activities make you the happiest. If you dont go to college you wont be exposed to so many different tthings at such an early age...and quite frankly you will be socially stunted. I can immediatly tell who has a college education and who doesnt within minutes of talking to them. Doesnt mean they arent great people, with great people skills, who are witty and smart. But more often than not, they only recognize the social and cultural norms of their current immediate surroundsings, which leads them to appear ignorant and narrow minded.

Basically this is the first time on your life where you have had to do something neccessary that you really didnt want to do and was pretty difficult...so you are throwing in thhe towel in the hopes that the grass is greener somewhere else.

Why not suck it up for 2 more years, meet some cool people, get a piece of paper that will make it exponentially easier for you later on in life, and then when you graduate go do whatever it is you are thinking about doing now? A degree isnt neccessary to be "successful" but it allows you to have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY more options to be successful in life. I personally became a Civil Engineer because i can make an very good living and my profession is needed quite litterally everywhere- meaning i can live in really cool places and do the things outside of work that i love doing, and raise a family all while never having to worry about money.

Not to mention that by dropping out, after spending $30,000.00 of their money, you are giving your parents a big EFF YOU!. Dont act like a spoiled child. Be an adult, suck it up, complete college, and then go do what you want...or payback your parents for all the money they have spent on you at college.

Jan 18 2014 12:33PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
unfortunately a lot of what you are describing is part of being an adult. It's not always fun, it's certainly not usually easy, but as el gato said - it's a means to an end. Getting an education and eventually a job will let you continue to do the things that you do enjoy doing. For that reason alone, it's worth grinding through the (at times) misery because you'll come out the other side so much better off and the chances of you being able to lead a lifestyle that is comfortable and that you're proud of are going to be a lot better if you finish this instead of dropping out.

think long and hard man, think about the bigger picture. sometimes you have to sacrifice your current happiness a bit for long term happiness the rest of your life. I know that sounds shitty, but that's how it is. In the end it's for the best and you'll sit back one day and say wow thank god I stayed in school and trudged through the bullshit way back when
Jan 18 2014 1:11PM
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B.Aussie
Posts: 5852 - Karma: 4,531
There are a lot of people that hate college, don't think you're in a unique position and should correct this. It's a pretty normal thing.
Jan 19 2014 1:21AM
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Static
Posts: 8559 - Karma: 4,128
seriously, what a spoiled little shit bag he must be
Jan 19 2014 1:25AM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152
you're spoiled. understand that what you have, others would do anything for--who quits a freeride?
Jan 19 2014 2:20AM
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TheBigApple
Posts: 1169 - Karma: 488
Im glad you dropped out. Less competition for the rest of us.
Jan 19 2014 3:11AM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152
Also to the person surprised about tuition..it was probably out of state. Although I don't know. But our local state school in WA is 15k/semester out of state.
Jan 19 2014 3:25AM
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.MASSHOLE.
Posts: 7491 - Karma: 11,554
This is your second semester. You realize you havent even finished one full year of college? Give it a chance. There could be a few factors affecting your view on college.

I have no inkling of what your social life looks like, nor do I know what major you are in. But the important question is, are you happy with both? If the answer is no, then change both.

If it goes beyond that, IE you just dont want to do academic work anymore, try a semester abroad/doing some sort of outdoor class (if those are offered and sound appealing). Another option is going to a trade school. This way, you are going to school, it is probably shorter than a 4 year program, but you actually have a skill to apply to the workforce.

If you REALLY do not want to do those things above and are insisting on dropping out, then try to make this agreement with your parents:
You will take the year off from college to reevaluate your stance. During this time, you will be financially independent (pay for EVERYTHING) as well as living on your own/paying rent to your parents if you still live at home. This means you have to find a job that can support your lifestyle (dont become a skibum the first year). If you enjoy this lifestyle and can make it work, then you can drop out. However, if you find it is not for you, you will go back to school and try to finish it.

This allows you to learn what it is like to be truly independent, and if you like it, to continue it. If you find that it is harder than you thought, and that you would rather be in school for another 3 years, you have the possibility of going back. But to drop out and assume you will never go back is a terrible assumption. You need to be 100% sure college is not for you and that you will never want to go back.
Jan 19 2014 9:28AM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37511 - Karma: 121,353
i wouldnt waste that full-ride setup by my parents, are you on crack OP? suck it up, dude. be happy you're a lot well off than others are, and get a paid for college education.
Jan 19 2014 9:53AM
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DaffyDaDak
Posts: 864 - Karma: 433
Stay there OP, trust me you'll regret it if you leave. it might seem like its a good idea now but think about how it will affect you in the long run
Jan 19 2014 3:42PM
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Casey
Posts: 7871 - Karma: 24,631
I dropped out after my freshmen year, horrible decision. I was really depressed at the time and felt like I didn't have a choice, in hindsight I wish someone would've come along and punched me in the face. If you don't go to college now, you most likely never will. If you do, it will be because you hate your shitty job to the point that you can't take it anymore, which is basically where you are at now, except in ten years you won't have someone footing the bill, and you won't have time because you have to work all day to make rent.
Jan 19 2014 4:44PM
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joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
I think that most people who get a degree still "use" it to a certain extent, even if they end up doing something totally different. Most programs out there, (while all to varying levels of course), will teach you how to think critically and improve all sorts of skills. Of course, you get what you put into it, but I'm of the opinion that a good education is still a very useful tool to better yourself and your job prospects, even if you don't stick to an exact career path all the way through.
Jan 19 2014 5:01PM
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Casey
Posts: 7871 - Karma: 24,631
My boss said to me when we went to hire a new position, "it tells me you finish what you start." Because someone got on with an education in a non related field over someone with some college. Its true though, it takes a certain level of capability and commitment to get a BA in any field, and conversely you have to explain and justify why you aren't a complete fuckup if you don't have it.
Jan 19 2014 5:10PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152
Yeah. Plus many jobs have minimum requirements that include having a bachelors degree. You simply don't qualify to be looked out without one...you're just filtered out withe their review system. Doesn't matter if you think you don't use it- you do, even it a little subconscious. College teaches you more than what is in the text...how to work with people, talk with people, handle deadlines, public speaking, how to write well and dedication and follow-through-- just to name a few things.
Jan 19 2014 5:30PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152
^sorry, mobile. Please decipher my typos.
Jan 19 2014 5:31PM
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Rusticles
Posts: 2180 - Karma: 1,337
Yeah that is definitely true, you never lose the education you just don't necessarily use it to make a living. On the flip side though he could begin working on or finding something he enjoys sooner. Also may not be worth it financially to stick it out till the end just for the life experiences. I guess at my age (30) and looking back its interesting to see how everyone's career and life paths have changed from 20 to 30. There is a lot that will change in a life in those years and hindsight is 20/20 I guess.
Jan 19 2014 7:55PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51738 - Karma: 163,433
You definitely can't promise that. College isn't for everyone. There are a lot of people in college that shouldn't be there. The idea that you have to go to school "just because" is outdated and ridiculous.

And small group of people? WTF are you smoking?

Jan 19 2014 8:18PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51738 - Karma: 163,433
Also felt like mentioning that snwbrdmilf$ made a good point about involving your parents if you want to be respectful. They dropped the loot, at the very least talk to them. If you do drop out you better be ready to kill it in the real world. I don't know your parents but it's likely that you'll have to be doing good for them to respect you in that sense. They might never though and hassle you forever about going back.

Another point that was made in the thread about college being more of a social education. I agree with that part. I don't agree that college is necessary in that aspect. College costs a shit ton of money if that's all you're getting out of it. If you're getting a useless degree just to get a college degree that probably won't help you to get that high paying job you think it's going to. A lot of people think that their degree in spinning around in chairs around entitles them to a job making 6 figures.

Also suggesting that you're socially fucked if you don't go to college is insane. If you want to talk about an ignorant and narrow minded view point that's one right there.

I'm not saying a college education is bad, I'm not saying that it isn't worth the money to many, I'm simply pointing out that it IS NOT for everyone and IS NOT necessary for everyone to be successful. Along with that it actually is a giant waste of money for many people.

It all depends on the person though.

/rant wall of text
Jan 19 2014 8:36PM
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lIllI
Posts: 1255 - Karma: 1,986
What did you expect? College isn't supposed to be all fun and games. It's essentially a mind-numblingly boring job without pay that robs you of any free time to live your own life. The people who treat it like a party are either wasting their money on some pointless degree or downright blowing their parent's money. If you have the means to go to college, you'd be an idiot to forego that. People who don't go to college are generally fucking retarded for a large portion of their lives. It's usually not their fault, but sometimes it is. Don't be that guy.

In essence, college sucks. It isn't easy, but it isn't impossible. Grow the fuck up and push on through. It'll be worth it.
Jan 19 2014 8:47PM
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lIllI
Posts: 1255 - Karma: 1,986
College isn't for learning (in theory it is, but the modern system compromises that, as I'm sure you're aware). It's a cynical way of achieving a gold star that shows the world you aren't a complete fuck up and were able to fulfill a commitment.

I know too many people who dropped out of college because it wasn't "pro-learning" enough for them. This is a massive facepalm, since people who think this way completely miss the entire point of college as a financial investment.

Of course, if you are a genuinely curious person you can find ways to actually learn and grow as a person if you just put forth the effort. Anyone who doens't do this is a fucking idiot as far as I'm concerned. Not because college is an investment (that's irrelevant), but because anyone who doesn't take pride in their intellectual advancement needs to be put down.
Jan 19 2014 8:56PM
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