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How to ditch a bitch in t-3 hours

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skiskate
Posts: 787 - Karma: 823
So basically my gf of two years works in a bar, she left her phone at home. I saw she got an fb msg and checked it, shes been sending naked videos of herself to some dude. Shell be off in less than 3 hours and im supposed to pick her up. So how do i chuck this whore? Its my house she pays no bills.
Dec 29 2013 2:34AM
752 125
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
Make a scene
Dec 29 2013 2:46AM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
shit in a box. wrap it up. with gift wrap. maybe a bow. and give it to her at the park, where youll leave her with a sleeping bag and all of her possessions.
Dec 29 2013 2:51AM
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Shredsterr
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 6,930
set up a camera in your car, and videotape the whole journey home, and when you're almost home, confront her about it and yell at that fucking dog because you wish it would just shut up. Then tell she has 30 minutes to pack her shit and get the fuck out. And post the video here so we can judge her and her whorish ways through the privacy of the internet.
Dec 29 2013 2:52AM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
give her the poop box at the bar. Scream out "You're a whore" and run out
Dec 29 2013 2:53AM
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Abc567def
Posts: 8756 - Karma: 801
Rent out movie theatre.
Play said nudie videos for a small ticket price.
Get back money cheap whore has not paid for rent
Profit
Dec 29 2013 2:55AM
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Bart.Man
Posts: 1742 - Karma: 1,952
Just start sending pictures of your dick to the guy. He'll figure it out. Don't know about how to get rid of the ho, though...
Dec 29 2013 2:55AM
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array.
Posts: 2439 - Karma: 202
pics
Dec 29 2013 2:58AM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
*vids
Dec 29 2013 2:59AM
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skiskate
Posts: 787 - Karma: 823
I aint posting vids or pics, she doesnt even have keys. Should i just not even pick her up and start putting her shit outside? Im just contemplating how big of a dick to be here.
Dec 29 2013 3:08AM
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Stose
Posts: 7109 - Karma: 4,123
Probably just show up to pick her up, and hand her her stuff, tell her why, and leave. That will make her feel worse than making it a huge ordeal
Dec 29 2013 3:12AM
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SlurmrnHurnyBurn
Posts: 315 - Karma: 765
Omg yes please this would bring joy to my soul. Don't call her either so she'll have to wait around untill she figures it out. When she calls you be a dick, hangup, enjoy life.
Dec 29 2013 3:14AM
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
go to her work before she gets off and just start casually talking to one of the other workers, then ask them if they want to see a funny video, show them the videos you found. repeat with as many co workers as possible till she she notices, then call her a whore and leave.

Dec 29 2013 3:14AM
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skiskate
Posts: 787 - Karma: 823
Yeah i was thinking this. Just bring her the phone, tell her to get fucked and let her get her shit tommorrow. Woooooooooooo its fucking party time now! Havent been single for some time.
Dec 29 2013 3:15AM
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
another option act like everything is normal, go fuck her tonight and right as you finish tell her you found the videos and to get out of your house
Dec 29 2013 3:17AM
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skiskate
Posts: 787 - Karma: 823
I was thinking this too. She hates it in her mouth so i could also just pull the old "ill let you know when" bust a nut and then tell her to get fucked. So many options...
Dec 29 2013 3:21AM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152
just, nut in her mouth and at that very moment tell her you're going to have to "let her go"
Dec 29 2013 3:25AM
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skiskate
Posts: 787 - Karma: 823
Yeah i think this seems like the most gratifying way for me to go about this. Get to go out with a bang...... Ill post how this all goes once the shitstorm a brews. Judging by the past few weeks shes gonna go insane and try to smash shit, hurt herself, eat the medicine cabinet etc....
Dec 29 2013 3:29AM
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
hahaha just let her
Dec 29 2013 3:34AM
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Shredsterr
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 6,930
She sounds like a loon
Dec 29 2013 3:35AM
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skiskate
Posts: 787 - Karma: 823
She fucking is man, i tried to end it like a month ago and she locked herself in the bathroom and i could hear pill bottles. Busted my own door down and had to choke her to get the 50+ tylenol extra strength outta her. Why do i always find me some crazy bitches...
Dec 29 2013 3:37AM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,328
better get this in my threads
Dec 29 2013 3:58AM
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Bart.Man
Posts: 1742 - Karma: 1,952
WAIT! Do not do this. Do you really want a pissed off, crazy, cheating woman who just got dumped to have your pecker in such a vulnerable position? All it would take is one firm bite and your new nickname is weienerless Joe. Think before you do it.
Dec 29 2013 3:59AM
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skiskate
Posts: 787 - Karma: 823
Only 45 more minutes till this gets put in place. She called and i just played it normal.
Dec 29 2013 4:21AM
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SwagasaurusRex
Posts: 635 - Karma: 333
THREADS! Interested in the end result... Godspeed!
Dec 29 2013 4:51AM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,328
how'd it go
Dec 29 2013 5:08AM
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JeremyClarkson
Posts: 1599 - Karma: 1,934
Threads. You need to post some kind of proof of your result, otherwise I feel this is just a troll.
Dec 29 2013 5:51AM
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Hughes
Posts: 1023 - Karma: 940
inb4 she actually tops herself because of OP
Dec 29 2013 6:21AM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,299
pics or vid needed of the event
Dec 29 2013 7:23AM
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Flyon
Posts: 295 - Karma: 331
And into the /threads it goes.
Dec 29 2013 7:32AM
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shr@gler
Posts: 1233 - Karma: 912
Update?
Dec 29 2013 7:39AM
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-benedetto
Posts: 5238 - Karma: 1,359
As difficult as it sounds, you should of just ignored her and put her shit outside. Confrontation will lead to making up or a huge scene that is NEVER good..I don't think you need anymore proof. She can't be trusted..everything she says must be strained through a filter cause you need to run a tight ship
Dec 29 2013 7:40AM
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Rusticles
Posts: 2180 - Karma: 1,337
Do you own the house? How long has she been living with you?
Dec 29 2013 8:26AM
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987321654hgfd
Posts: 5133 - Karma: 5,447
Threads.

Just put take all her shit out of your house. Hide it around your town and give her a treasure map.
Dec 29 2013 8:46AM
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Jane6
Posts: 5359 - Karma: 4,506
Threads.
Dec 29 2013 9:06AM
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SSteezle
Posts: 9297 - Karma: 7,732
threads, it sounds like OP has this situation under control quite well. i vote bust in her hair and walk out immediately after
Dec 29 2013 9:10AM
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JahLiam
Posts: 2321 - Karma: 7,828
Soo it's been 45 minutes op...
Dec 29 2013 9:12AM
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trill
Posts: 297 - Karma: 1,670
when said gf gets home from work tell her you want to go for a drive, while out on said drive you drive past her house, as passing her house say "that's where my ex lives" super casual. It will take her a second to realise what has just happened but when she does it will be priceless. For extra comic value put go pro in car and film the whole experience. Nothing like a name and shame.
Dec 29 2013 9:12AM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
oooooooooo the suspense
Dec 29 2013 9:23AM
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Mag
Posts: 8155 - Karma: 14,809
inb4 ns just pulled off manslaughter
Dec 29 2013 9:24AM
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Mag
Posts: 8155 - Karma: 14,809
After OP's description of her do you think you'd understand this?
Dec 29 2013 9:26AM
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Peachbutt
Posts: 623 - Karma: 601
That's fucked. But at the same time I'm excited to hear what happened
Dec 29 2013 9:40AM
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trill
Posts: 297 - Karma: 1,670
Click for larger image
Dec 29 2013 9:40AM
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Goku
Posts: 8119 - Karma: 4,223
threads for story later
Dec 29 2013 9:53AM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37380 - Karma: 119,961
Nah just roll up to pick her up, give her the news and then drop her off at her friends house
Dec 29 2013 9:55AM
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SapperDaddy
Posts: 191 - Karma: 1,168
Upload the videos to pornhub then leave it open on her phone
Dec 29 2013 10:03AM
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Jaskittin
Posts: 5606 - Karma: 195
send her a fb video message of yourself doing the helicopter.  Then the poop stuff. 
Dec 29 2013 10:08AM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,484
I like this very much. Then she'll have no one because she'll think the other guy did it.
Dec 29 2013 10:08AM
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Goku
Posts: 8119 - Karma: 4,223
Go into her messages again
Screenshot it
Message screen shot from your FB to hers
Dec 29 2013 10:11AM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
OP is in the hospital cause his dick was bitten off and his house is burnt to the ground.
Dec 29 2013 10:13AM
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SapperDaddy
Posts: 191 - Karma: 1,168
And make sure you title it something like banging some dudes girlfriend and he doesnt know. So she thinks it was him.
Dec 29 2013 10:16AM
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