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Ski jokes

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Garebear
Posts: 378 - Karma: 4,908
Post your best

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
Dec 24 2013 9:39PM
542 63
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Lou.
Posts: 1787 - Karma: 3,876
How many freeskiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 50. 1 to make the turns, 49 to watch and say "I can do that"
Dec 24 2013 10:04PM
46 2
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iFlip
Posts: 4543 - Karma: 19,132
Since when do freeskiers make turns? Most of them have no idea how to ski and just straightline to the jumps and rails. Your "joke" fails.
Dec 24 2013 10:05PM
28 11
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KimJong-Illest
Posts: 883 - Karma: 3,110
Why do woman skiers spin to the left?



Because they have no rights
Dec 24 2013 11:26PM
102 0
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Paul.
Posts: 1600 - Karma: 11,104
Heres op's joke in animated video form (sorry no hand jobs in the video)
Dec 25 2013 2:31AM
16 0
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radish
Posts: 405 - Karma: 351
How many tele skiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and one to yell "Sick turns Bro!"
Dec 25 2013 11:12AM
9 0
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BBurt
Posts: 1588 - Karma: 3,779
:D
Dec 25 2013 11:22AM
1 1
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powabunga
Posts: 168 - Karma: 1,705
Dec 25 2013 11:44AM
20 0
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Brocka_Flocka
Posts: 1215 - Karma: 8,742
How many tele-skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 5. One to screw it in and all the others to say "nice turns bra"
Dec 25 2013 11:55AM
0 13
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elm.
Posts: 1493 - Karma: 13,497
not really a joke, but that dumb and dumber post inspired me



Dec 25 2013 12:01PM
11 0
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Agamemnon
Posts: 310 - Karma: 3,402
What do snowboarders use as birth control?

Their personalities.
Dec 25 2013 12:02PM
34 2
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Benson.
Posts: 2739 - Karma: 3,787
Hahaha
Dec 25 2013 1:26PM
1 1
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van_geezy
Posts: 5 - Karma: 38
What do you call a snowboarder that broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless
Dec 25 2013 2:28PM
28 1
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-WZ-
Posts: 3600 - Karma: 6,582
Why did the skiier cross the road? To get to the other side
Wow im funny
Dec 25 2013 2:33PM
2 15
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bakerpunk
Posts: 884 - Karma: 1,126
How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb? five, one to screw it in and four to stand there and say "nice turns, nice turns."

What is the difference between a first day snowboarder and a pro?
3 days.
Dec 25 2013 4:37PM
12 1
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stoned_sorcerer
Posts: 659 - Karma: 72
Well then:

How many park rats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Park rats can't make turns.

Ba dum tss...
Dec 25 2013 5:08PM
19 0
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gnar_whal
Posts: 1286 - Karma: 3,787
Hahahhahahahahahahahahahaha
Dec 25 2013 7:15PM
3 0
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snakerton
Posts: 2434 - Karma: 1,977
Dec 25 2013 11:36PM
12 0
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skiersupreme
Posts: 1549 - Karma: 4,872
Whats the difference between a snowboarder and a vacuum?
One is a noisy scum sucker with a bag of air on it, and the other is cleaning my floor
Dec 25 2013 11:42PM
10 0
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MACK.
Posts: 1230 - Karma: 1,892
two snowboarders in a car, who's driving?

The cops

Dec 26 2013 12:00AM
13 3
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FlufyDuky
Posts: 163 - Karma: 651
How many snowboarders does it take to change a lightbulb?

10. 1 to change the bulb and 9 to sit on the landing.
Dec 26 2013 1:40AM
24 0
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11988 - Karma: 12,261
womens freeskiing
Dec 26 2013 1:48AM
23 1
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cydwhit
Posts: 5070 - Karma: 43,008
What is the difference between a snowboarder and a vacuum?


Where you strap on the dirtbag
Dec 26 2013 1:50AM
7 0
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Ryanvdonk
Posts: 12811 - Karma: 1,971
how does a snowboarder say hello?

sorry
Dec 26 2013 1:56AM
9 0
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Vincenzo
Posts: 304 - Karma: 445
Who is big, yet pro, but still doesn't do tricks in the park?

Eheath.


Dec 26 2013 2:16AM
4 1
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eheath
Posts: 61603 - Karma: 123,089
lol im a pro? FUCK YA
Dec 26 2013 2:48AM
24 0
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LoudLord
Posts: 1 - Karma: 15
what did the tele noodler say when he ran out of weed

damn whats wrong with my bindings
Dec 26 2013 3:18AM
5 0
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Drail
Posts: 14012 - Karma: 10,010
pro as fuck.
Dec 26 2013 3:58AM
1 0
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Drail
Posts: 14012 - Karma: 10,010
now where's that damn rodeo? muhahaha!
Dec 26 2013 3:59AM
1 0
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JahLiam
Posts: 2321 - Karma: 7,828
What is the difference between a snowboarder and a piece of poo?
One is a piece of poo and the other is in the toilet

I tried...
Dec 26 2013 8:06AM
1 5
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Agamemnon
Posts: 310 - Karma: 3,402
and failed
Dec 26 2013 8:50AM
10 0
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GaryColeman
Posts: 248 - Karma: 380
My saga coat is blue....










NOT!
Dec 26 2013 12:05PM
1 3
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raymondcabral
Posts: 747 - Karma: 1,094
How do you know someone was a ski instructor?


He will tell you several times!
Dec 26 2013 8:59PM
4 1
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
What's the difference between god and a ski instructor?

God doesn't think he's a ski instructor.



How do you know who is the ski instructor at a party?

Don't worry - he'll tell you.
Dec 26 2013 9:06PM
6 0
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SkiBrightonBadly
Posts: 152 - Karma: 67
lost so hard
Dec 26 2013 11:31PM
2 0
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,163
yolo-

you only lip450 once
Dec 27 2013 12:09AM
2 0
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robotdna
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 2,959
Haha these are great
Dec 28 2013 12:27AM
0 0
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Park.
Posts: 2480 - Karma: 4,582
you win the thread
Dec 28 2013 1:19AM
0 1
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