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November, 2024

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Girls with kids

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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
So how long after starting to date someone is it cool for them to introduce you to their kiddo? I just started hanging out with this chick and she's not the only girl I'm sleeping with and she brought her 9 year old daughter over with her the other night to stay the night and she actually slept in the same bed with us. She's hot and I like her and her kid was absolutely adorable but I can already tell she (the daughter) is already emotionally attached to me. I think I'm going to end up feeling like a piece of shit and breaking this little girls heart when all is said and done. P.S. her dad passed away in a car wreck a few years back. Should I just cut this off now? Any single moms out their that are willing to chime in would be greatly appreciated...
Nov 26 2013 2:50PM
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JustForYou
Posts: 275 - Karma: 2,143
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Nov 26 2013 2:54PM
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skipaparazzi
Posts: 102 - Karma: 27
Show some class and dignity. If you think you love her. Keep her. To even think of leading her child on will give you really bad karma. Your skiing will suffer and you could end up breaking your leg or your neck. Karma is a bitch.
Nov 26 2013 2:55PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,302
I'm a single mom and I approve of this message.

Nov 26 2013 2:56PM
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Spagett+
Posts: 3499 - Karma: 14,884
Well I spagett have about 4 babies. So I know
My stuff. And what you need to do is steal the child and make it shine shoes for you in India. You can rake in rupees like an Indian slave owner.
Nov 26 2013 2:57PM
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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
I think it's a little unfair when girls bring their kids into the equation so soon. It has to be confusing for them when their mother is introducing them to a new guy every few months. I think she should have waited until we were committed before introducing me to the child. I love this freakin kid. I could marry her, adopt the kid and then get a divorce. Bing, bang, boom I get to hang out with the kid without the responsibilities of a committed relationship.
Nov 26 2013 3:03PM
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skipaparazzi
Posts: 102 - Karma: 27
Quit having sex in the same bed as her daughter. That is just wrong!!
Nov 26 2013 3:06PM
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yelsel
Posts: 12967 - Karma: 3,451
I have a friend who has an 11 year old son. She has gone from the relationship with her husband, to a divorce, to dating a chick for 3 years and now has dated 4 guys within the last year. All the while introducing her son to them all too quickly. That, I feel is not right at all and there have been some serious issues because of it. However, I have another good friend who was always very good about waiting until she knew the relationship was right and what she wanted before she introduced her kids to him. Now, they're practically a family and moving forward to being a full time family and for that, I couldnt respect her more. That's how it should be done.

In your instance, having the kid brought into the equation is too soon in my opinion, let alone having it sleep in the same bed as you.
Nov 26 2013 3:11PM
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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
I completely agree. We tried to get her to sleep on the couch but that didn't work out. Not that I mind hanging out with the kid, she's pretty awesome but I'm just trying to look out for her. I'm surprised there hasn't been any perverted comments so far.
Nov 26 2013 3:24PM
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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
I didn't see this one...That didn't happen BTW
Nov 26 2013 3:25PM
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yelsel
Posts: 12967 - Karma: 3,451
How long have you two been dating anyways?
Nov 26 2013 3:26PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,806
As a mom -- that is way too soon and ridiculous to let the child share a bed with you. Unreal.

It took me a while to introduce my kids to the man in my life. You have to make sure before you let them get emotionally attached. If you are not serious about her, do not let her involve her child. And cut it off immediately if you don't want a future. For all of your sakes.
Nov 26 2013 3:28PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,105
how old are you op
if the girl is 9 the mom will have to be at least around 30
assuming op likes women of similar age, lol op is 30
Nov 26 2013 3:52PM
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mski
Posts: 4791 - Karma: 3,803
amazing deductive reasoning skillz!
Nov 26 2013 3:56PM
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snowpocalypse
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 3,525
My now wife were together for 6 years before I met her kid.....Well I guess its my kid too so this doesn't really count. But onto your issue. With out knowing the inner workings of your relationship I can give you this bit of advice. Never make any judgments based on your feelings for the kid. You are in a relationship with the parent and you need to see where that is going first. I would be strait with the mom. Tell her you are into her and would really like to see where thinks are going but you aren't ready to play part time daddy. When things get serious you need to know its because you have genuine feeling for the girl and not out of guilt for the daughter. God knows we don't need any more little girls out there with daddy issues.
Nov 26 2013 4:00PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,105
i kno!
Nov 26 2013 4:02PM
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Miomo
Posts: 4302 - Karma: 14,133
Cougah
Nov 26 2013 4:13PM
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coling
Posts: 1086 - Karma: -3
Its not really something that can be approved of vs not approved of. Na mean?
Nov 26 2013 4:19PM
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coling
Posts: 1086 - Karma: -3
Good post
Nov 26 2013 4:20PM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,346
your asian is showing
Nov 26 2013 4:23PM
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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
Good guess. She's 28
Nov 26 2013 4:37PM
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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
about 2 months
Nov 26 2013 4:37PM
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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
It's really too soon to know how serious I am about her that's kind of why I sought out advice from you guys. I do really like her but I've been burned pretty bad in the past. I caught my ex fiancé in the shower with a guy : (. I am still dealing with some trust issues and I just don't know if i'm ready for another relationship, I definitely wasn't looking for one, ja feel?
Nov 26 2013 4:42PM
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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/316219_10150776973025084_4603890_n.jpg
Nov 26 2013 4:47PM
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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
There's a pic
Nov 26 2013 4:48PM
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theblackrod
Posts: 2162 - Karma: 575
I would definitely tell her it makes you uncomfortable to at least share a bed with her daughter...

But seriously, if you don't see a future, end it now. don't waste her time and don't let her daughter get emotionally attached to you because you'll make a bigger mess.
Nov 26 2013 4:51PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,806
Funny, neither was the guy that fell in love with me :)

Regardless, if you're still unsure and you want to keep things casual, then you need to let her know that you are not yet comfortable with the kid situation, you are still getting a feel for her as an individual, and that is most important for YOU right now. A parent in a relationship needs to take things ultra slow, and she seems to be doing the opposite. Which imo is not very responsible on her part.
Nov 26 2013 4:54PM
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snowpocalypse
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 3,525
Damn she looks good for a 9 year old!
Nov 26 2013 4:54PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,978
I was not expecting that.. Embed: Click for larger image
Nov 26 2013 4:57PM
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snowpocalypse
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 3,525
Dude, not cool to put pictures of other peoples kids on the web. Just the Dad in me. Please remove it.

Nov 26 2013 5:09PM
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pat_in_the_hat
Posts: 3019 - Karma: 2,695
i can lick candycanes all day long...
Nov 26 2013 5:09PM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4814 - Karma: -703
I think this is a cop out and your reading into it too much.  Do you want to fuck around and play the field or do you want a serious relationship/wife. 




If you have trust issues and want a girl who is not going to fuck someone else in your shower one with a kid gives you a better chance of that happening.  You will be far more appreciated if you are good to her child.  But the single mom is going to want to feel appreciated if shes going to only date you and obviously thinks its headed somewhere.  The second she thinks you might not want to marry her she will keep her eye open for other options (even if she doesn't fuck them or want to dump you she probably likes you and would hope you change your mind but she has a responsibility to her kid as well as herself to look for a new husband/father.)  

Obviously you wanted to get married and were engaged.  You say you like the kid.  You already know if you want to move in with her or not so if you do understand your headed in that direction and if you don't...well I guess your just an asshole smash and dashing this sweet little girls mom so try and be a bit less of an asshole.  Just because you are not going to marry this girl doesn't mean you can't date, single moms don't all want their pool of men to date restricted to guys looking to marry.

You know what you want.  Personaly I'd rather a single mom with a daughter than a son.  It is way better if you ask me.  (An early 40s cougar with grown up kids is good too.)


You should know to a certain extent that many single women age 28-30 are basically flawed as partners and thats why they are single.  We live complicated lives, it can be hard to have a relationship with a girl who likes you and you like if she has "plans" 6-7 days a week to do shit with her friends.  A lot of single women are like this.  They are basically worthless get rid of that type of girl that has "plans" made out to do shit with her friends weeks in advance every night of the week.

I don't ever have any of that shit I call people to do things that night not in 2 weeks time.

You want it both ways and are whining grow up.  You either would be willing to marry and live with this girl or you don't.  Its probably the former.  So don't whine on a message board about her and her daughter if you like her.
Nov 26 2013 5:13PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,978
Not gonna embed that, don't wanna be a pedobear
Nov 26 2013 5:18PM
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coling
Posts: 1086 - Karma: -3
Meh, shes gonna lose her looks in 10 years
Nov 26 2013 5:24PM
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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
What makes you say that? Her mom still looks pretty good lol
Nov 26 2013 5:34PM
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LAME.
Posts: 5795 - Karma: 2,446
wait......


what the fuck....
Nov 26 2013 5:39PM
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StickDonkey
Posts: 284 - Karma: 2,456
I appreciate the advice but when was I whining? Yeah I might want a serious relationship with her eventually, that's why I'm dating her but how am I supposed to know this early if that's where it will end up. Isn't that the point of dating in the first place? I apologize for posting the pic of her kid, I didn't realize that would be offensive to people. and if I was an asshole I wouldn't give a shit about the kid and wouldn't have asked for the advice in the first place right?
Nov 26 2013 5:41PM
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coling
Posts: 1086 - Karma: -3
Her moms gonna lose it in 10 yrs
Nov 26 2013 5:43PM
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snowpocalypse
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 3,525
No offence taken there are just a lot of sick fucks out there. As for her, Again be strait with her, You like her, you want to get to know her better and dating is the best and only way to do that. All I am saying is do just that. Date her not the kid. Don't fall into the daddy role. Take her out kid free, spend time alone where you can get to know her and figure out if this is a real relationship or just a good lay.
Nov 26 2013 5:56PM
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hippy.
Posts: 3106 - Karma: 14,364
If you like her, date her...if you don't like her, don't date her..Don't continue a bad relationship (or unsteady) because of someone beside yourself..
Nov 26 2013 6:46PM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4814 - Karma: -703
Well then you are agreeing you are heading down that path with her.  And you seem to be happy about it.

Dude I only said you were whining because I didn't want to give you flimsy advice and you can go either way.  But as I tried to hint at to you if you send her mixed messages about being serious it could lead to her looking elsewhere.  She wants to be off the market and probably wants a sign that you are going to be OK raising the kid.


Noones telling you to move in with her tomorrow just accept its inevitable and if you want more time before shit gets serious do what you can to stall. 

BUt like I said if trust and things like that are primary to you dating a single mom and being good to her kid is one of the best ways to have a woman appreciate you and not look for greener grass.  If you want to play the field accept that you want to play the field and realize not all women are equally loyal. 

Some women are very nice people in many respects but have zero conscience when it comes to loyalty you should know this.

I was raised by a single mom.  Men being afraid of commitment is a constant theme from their point of view. 
Nov 26 2013 7:54PM
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Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
dude, thats fucked up
Nov 26 2013 7:58PM
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
there is nothing wrong with a threesome
Nov 26 2013 8:08PM
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triss
Posts: 1293 - Karma: 2,916
inb4 pee in both their butts

Nov 26 2013 8:33PM
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catsRjerks
Posts: 291 - Karma: 1,163
Everyone put down your books, I've found wilma!!!! Waldo's girlfriend!!!
Nov 26 2013 8:38PM
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ski4fun420
Posts: 902 - Karma: 842
In before she sees this thread and dumps you for being clueless.
Follow your heart. Get her some jewelry. Love is love. Lust is lust. Been there and done that trust me.
Nov 26 2013 8:47PM
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ski4fun420
Posts: 902 - Karma: 842
Op. If that really is her I put in my vote for keep her. Great smile, fit, blonde + more positives I am sure only you know. Do this; take the next two weeks to find a hotter date and report back. Have a feeling you won't find a girl like this... That being said.... Prove me wrong or keep this sweet looking girl...Or prove me wrong and get two girlss
Nov 26 2013 8:52PM
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jensen
Posts: 2576 - Karma: 1,267
Two scenarios here:

1) Girl has some issues - she is brining her nine year old daughter into bed with someone who she is casually sleeping with. Red Flag? If you say no then you fall under scenario two...

2) OP is a giant douche - you are sleeping with other girls while you let a girl you are whatever with (doesn't matter)bring her child into your bed.

Either way you sound like an idiot.
Nov 26 2013 9:00PM
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edai
Posts: 4990 - Karma: 4,677
ha wow dude you are so fucked
Nov 26 2013 9:03PM
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AwR
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 1,881
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Nov 26 2013 9:07PM
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ski4fun420
Posts: 902 - Karma: 842
Instead of idiot I am going to call op confused. He prob has a less serious girl on the side. Otherwise the girl with kid don,t sleep over. Girls with kids obviously bring a more serious issues to the table... Kid or kids. Take it from someone with experience.. If you commit, you are ALL in. Take your time and remember... YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GET MARRIED FOR HER TO STAY With You.
Nov 26 2013 9:09PM
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