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My future ambitions to become a pirate

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Kenyon
Posts: 232 - Karma: 716
So recently I was laying in bed stoned as fuck pondering life. I realized I love exploring the world, seeing new things, and I honestly don't give a fuck about anything so fuck a normal life. I have came to the conclusion of being a pirate. At first I was just being a stoned fuck but after thinking it out , this path in life will lead me to be the happiest person. Out in the ocean there are no laws. I can do whatever the fuck I want. I will have the opportunity to be the captain of the ship and only include people that truly deserve to live the pirate life. If someone kills the vibe I'll just make them walk the plank. I plan on going to college and leading a normal life. Achieving a decent job. Working for a couple years to save up. Once I have accumulated enough money I will get a couple friends to throw down and we will design the ship and hire a company to build it. I plan on creating a ship that has about 5 floors and each floor about the size of one football field. There will be no expenses considering all food will come from the ocean and our path will be lead by the wind. I plan on having a nice pool, maybe a couple hot tubs. A shitton of fun ass recreational shit to do aboard ship. I will have an indoor/ outdoor grow op of the dankest nuggetrey so I will be set for life. Bitches aboarding the ship must be busty as fuq and always down to fuck. Yeah just wanted to share my pirate philosophy and what my badass plan in life is. Givin no fucks
Nov 19 2013 12:29PM
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Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
TL:DR - OP wants to be a butt pirate and ravage international anus across the 7 high seas!
Nov 19 2013 12:31PM
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bfulmer
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 1,975
Inb4 you get fucking murdered by pirates and your carcass gets raped by sharks off the coast of Somalia.
Nov 19 2013 12:32PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I remember being 15 and "not giving a fuck." You'll grow up someday, OP, don't worry.
Nov 19 2013 12:33PM
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Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
Found your crew, op

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Nov 19 2013 12:33PM
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SkiThe603
Posts: 5376 - Karma: 498
yo im great with an RPG in COD, let me join your pirate crew
Nov 19 2013 12:35PM
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JordanButtfart
Posts: 1013 - Karma: 3,027
OP be like:

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Nov 19 2013 12:39PM
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ABalls
Posts: 2091 - Karma: 3,754
That kind of ship will cost you about 10 grand, give or take a few billion
Nov 19 2013 12:42PM
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Gherbs
Posts: 530 - Karma: 903
thanks for making no sense at all
Nov 19 2013 12:53PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
It made perfect sense, idiot.
Nov 19 2013 12:54PM
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Austin.ski
Posts: 1034 - Karma: 2,582
this is what the op think he is

Nov 19 2013 12:57PM
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andrew.
Posts: 2349 - Karma: 165
do what makes you happy mang

but also stock up on guns, rival somalians are no joke.
Nov 19 2013 3:41PM
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Drail
Posts: 14012 - Karma: 10,010
what you are describing is called retirement, not being a pirate. You don't need an education, or any sort of savings to be a pirate. Hell, if you want to be a pirate, get a gun, drive down to the docks and steal a boat. You could be a pirate by sundown! Get 'er done!
Nov 19 2013 3:46PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
This. Seriously. I once saw two of those fuckers come to blows simply over the "oakiness" of a chardonnay. They don't mess around.
Nov 19 2013 3:47PM
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coling
Posts: 1086 - Karma: -3
One time my friend took 3 marawanas and almost died
Nov 19 2013 4:01PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51662 - Karma: 162,482
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Nov 19 2013 4:01PM
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Agamemnon
Posts: 310 - Karma: 3,402
What kind of grades do pirates get in high school?









HIGH SEAS
Nov 19 2013 4:05PM
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MontanaMountains
Posts: 385 - Karma: 699
I am a pirate and let me tell you it is fuckin awesome
follow ur dreams op!!! just stay out of our ships way
Nov 19 2013 4:15PM
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humpty
Posts: 1190 - Karma: 3,162
OP:
[IMG]reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/I-have-no-idea-what-I-am-doing.gif[/IMG]
Nov 19 2013 4:31PM
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humpty
Posts: 1190 - Karma: 3,162
OP:

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Nov 19 2013 4:34PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
OP what you described is not being a pirate

what you described is working for a few years after college and somehow having enough money to build a massive pleasure yacht which would require a huge staff to run and just partying on this pleasure yacht with your friends and hot babes which will obviously be attracted to your college degree and 3 years work experience

yo-ho-something about a bottle of rum.
Nov 19 2013 5:05PM
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whiskeybizness
Posts: 53 - Karma: 479
OP says no laws on the sea. piracy is one of the 3 universal crimes... OP you are dirty pirate hooker
Nov 19 2013 5:06PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51662 - Karma: 162,482
Spent 1% of said money on boat of some sort. Spend the rest of the money on rum = success.

And if you're going to give it 110% spend the 10% on a parrot.
Nov 19 2013 5:11PM
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RusselCrowe
Posts: 367 - Karma: 1,111
inb4 this is future OP
Nov 19 2013 5:32PM
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SkierPT
Posts: 2177 - Karma: 4,720
^ I second the parrot idea. Maybe even chop off a hand and get a claw
Nov 19 2013 5:32PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
guy with the rpg looks chill af
Nov 19 2013 8:38PM
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jackkenny
Posts: 40 - Karma: 478
we have to invite them
Nov 19 2013 8:45PM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
You know what's even better? If you became a pirate, you wouldn't make any more asinine threads.
Nov 19 2013 9:51PM
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AGOF
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 3,602
im gonna be impressed with your zero expenses, considering you have to have enough power to heat and run pools and hot tubs, plus lights, plus whatever your gonna use to cook, plus you have to repair things that fail, constant maintanence on ship. sounds pretty zero cost to me
Nov 19 2013 9:58PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
Most people who became successful buccaneers in the 17th century were colonial outcasts who resorted to hunting feral cattle and selling the meat and hides that they didn't eat or use. Much of their piracy was conducted in canoes until they were able to capture a larger ship and use that. Rarely did people want to be pirates, but it was better than the alternative of being a contracted imperial sailor which essentially equalled being a slave. With the exception of a few who fucking killed it, most pirates didn't make that much money, especially the 18th century pirates who you're thinking of. Their earnings were generally quite small and they spent all of their money on alcohol and hookers in ports like Tortuga and Port Royal.

In modern day you would be completely useless in a 5 story ship. Even in the 18th century pirates rarely sailed man o' war since they were extremely slow despite the firepower. Unless you got your hands on a battleship you would want the smallest thing possible that could avoid heatseeking missiles.

In sum, you're retarded. Being a pirate sucked back then and it sucks way more now. Aside from the 15 or so captains that you have heard of, everyone else would tell you it was shit.
Nov 19 2013 10:02PM
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coling
Posts: 1086 - Karma: -3
Did they really take a dog in space? He must have been tripping balls
Nov 19 2013 10:04PM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
you always wondered why I singled you out, before everyone else.

I have a legitimate answer to why now; it's because you're a fucking idiot.
Nov 19 2013 10:09PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
this wins. i can go to bed in peace, you have won the internet today.
Nov 19 2013 10:50PM
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Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
dude dogs were in space before humans...
Nov 20 2013 1:22AM
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Yaraelpoof.png
Posts: 1556 - Karma: 6,418
yarrrr the pirates life for me
Nov 20 2013 7:53AM
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DockEllis
Posts: 1131 - Karma: 1,745
Commandeer*
Nov 20 2013 10:28AM
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