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October, 2024

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Best one-liners

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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,352
best one liners you have ever heard GO:


"You should see what a .44 Magnum's gonna do to a woman's pussy"
Oct 9 2013 4:45PM
242 22
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,364
Im going to beat the shit out of you
Oct 9 2013 4:47PM
24 0
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,352
that is a good one, also: nice thread dickweed.
Oct 9 2013 4:49PM
8 3
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
The halocaust.
Oct 9 2013 4:52PM
6 1
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
When we were juniors in college, my friend brought home some girl from the bar and was banging her in his room (his room was essentially a converted porch and was adjacent to the living room, so you could hear everything). Anyway, the rest of us are just chilling in the living room watching TV and getting ready to pass out and they finish up.

Friend: "So do you want a glass of water or anything?"

Girl: "Yeah, I'm really thirsty."

Friend: "Well, the cups are in the kitchen!"

I don't know if it was the way he said it or what, but we were all drunk and absolutely dying. The girl comes out, looks at us with a disgusted look, and leaves without saying anything. Best line I've ever heard to this day.
Oct 9 2013 4:53PM
28 1
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
"Im not drunk, you're gay!"
Oct 9 2013 4:54PM
9 0
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Troy.
Posts: 5070 - Karma: 12,549
I run faster horny than you do scared.
Oct 9 2013 4:55PM
21 2
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LoathesRaisins
Posts: 3612 - Karma: 4,735
"Look at the big brain on Brad!!!-you is a smart motherfucker"


Oct 9 2013 5:11PM
5 1
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,352
"im not gay, you're drunk!"
Oct 10 2013 4:54PM
1 1
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,297
Im drunk, youre gay not
Oct 10 2013 5:02PM
2 1
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GANDALF
Posts: 6302 - Karma: 6,567
Bread is just really bland cake
Oct 10 2013 5:04PM
4 0
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CosmicBrownie
Posts: 199 - Karma: 1,177
I'm gay, not drunk!
Oct 10 2013 5:07PM
4 1
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
1.21 JIGGAWATTS?!!!!!



Oct 10 2013 5:18PM
0 0
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deepfriedtwinkie
Posts: 434 - Karma: 389
suck a cock


Oct 10 2013 5:18PM
13 1
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Chubbs.
Posts: 1018 - Karma: 2,647
sit on my face.
Oct 10 2013 5:18PM
0 0
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BLADEE
Posts: 1017 - Karma: 778
Is that an opening of a shitty porn? Ahaha
Oct 10 2013 5:25PM
5 0
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
.
Oct 10 2013 5:27PM
5 1
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t_rob
Posts: 6433 - Karma: 11,458


Ralf Wiggam: PUA Extreme
Oct 10 2013 5:29PM
7 0
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
There's a word I haven't heard in about 5 years.
Oct 10 2013 5:30PM
2 0
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deepfriedtwinkie
Posts: 434 - Karma: 389
yeah hahaah
Oct 10 2013 5:31PM
0 0
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Iliveinutah
Posts: 1250 - Karma: 5,147
sit on my face and ill eat my way to your heart.

proof that it works
Click for larger image
Oct 10 2013 5:52PM
8 1
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flyingsqirrel3
Posts: 91 - Karma: 305
"hey wanna watch some porn with me"
Oct 10 2013 9:05PM
0 0
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Abu_Hajaar
Posts: 2749 - Karma: 3,907
"op is gay"
Oct 10 2013 9:22PM
2 1
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PeterNorth
Posts: 1352 - Karma: 1,253
your like a snowflake, unique, Beautiful and with one touch from me you'll be WET
Oct 10 2013 9:24PM
18 0
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Iliveinutah
Posts: 1250 - Karma: 5,147
i lost.
Oct 10 2013 9:27PM
0 0
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GIF
Posts: 468 - Karma: 1,279
Whats up?



If I tell you will you sit on it.... ?
Oct 10 2013 10:35PM
2 2
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,352
that is two lines. you dumb boy.
Oct 10 2013 10:37PM
4 1
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Skittle.
Posts: 2537 - Karma: 718
friends elderly grandfather, after shitting all over himself in the hospital, said to the nurse that came to clean him up:

"many are called, few are chosen."
Oct 10 2013 10:38PM
12 0
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cheener12
Posts: 2881 - Karma: 5,884
haha
coolest thing about science is everything's based on theory
Oct 10 2013 10:59PM
0 0
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GIF
Posts: 468 - Karma: 1,279
But the what's up was the other person
Oct 11 2013 12:22AM
0 0
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Mtougas
Posts: 870 - Karma: 77
I'm gonna stick my foot so far up your ass....
Oct 11 2013 12:55AM
3 0
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dispatchQ_main
Posts: 2619 - Karma: 629
"can I use your bathroom"

sneaky easy cliche to get in her house
Oct 11 2013 1:00AM
1 1
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NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409
Wow, why are people posting pickup lines? Sure, if a pickup line is funny it could be a form of one-liner but, one-liners are generally far more clever and really only serve the purpose of making people laugh. We've had about a billion other threads on funny pickup lines so save them for said threads.

Here's an education on one-liners:

Oct 11 2013 1:25AM
7 0
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Spiri7o
Posts: 2163 - Karma: 1,100
lmao I enjoyed this
Oct 11 2013 12:03PM
0 0
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Spic-N-SpaN
Posts: 2002 - Karma: 1,465
I do you want a frozen banana?

no, but I want a regular banana later, so yes
Oct 11 2013 12:59PM
1 1
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Benson.
Posts: 2739 - Karma: 3,787
I also enjoy: "Get bent, nerd."
Oct 11 2013 1:17PM
0 0
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,352
guys this is one-liners, not pickup lines jesus.
Oct 11 2013 1:17PM
1 0
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
"I'm lookin for a fight or a fuck.. and I don't see your sister."
Oct 11 2013 1:26PM
3 0
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JahLiam
Posts: 2321 - Karma: 7,828
hahaha PEI encyclopedia, "whats your phone number bud cause i'll dial it in your face"
Oct 11 2013 10:05PM
2 0
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,297
It looks the best part of you ran down your mothers ass crack and ended up as the brown stain on the mattress.
Oct 11 2013 10:14PM
2 0
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Rusticles
Posts: 2180 - Karma: 1,337
She's seen more dickends than weekends
Oct 12 2013 12:27PM
2 0
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thedawg
Posts: 730 - Karma: 452
Hedberg is a genius R.I.P., "I used to do drugs, I still do, but I used to too."
Oct 12 2013 1:26PM
4 0
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thedawg
Posts: 730 - Karma: 452
I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a woman who'd get really mad at me for saying that
Oct 12 2013 1:31PM
5 0
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maximiliaan
Posts: 7711 - Karma: 2,857
I told a girl yesterday: you are to ugly to be cocky
Oct 12 2013 1:36PM
4 0
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,352
NICE
Oct 12 2013 2:20PM
1 0
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JTTrembles
Posts: 1108 - Karma: 1,907
Bitch tits.
Oct 12 2013 8:29PM
3 0
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GIF
Posts: 468 - Karma: 1,279
Too ugly, or to be ugly or not to be?
Oct 13 2013 1:12AM
0 0
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ilikefood
Posts: 391 - Karma: 769
"Here's a twenty."
Oct 13 2013 8:20AM
1 0
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
shut the fuck up
Oct 13 2013 3:08PM
2 2
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,484
Some ugly redhead sat on my friends lap one night and startedsucking on his ear. After my friend pushed her off him another friend went up to the redhead and said "So, how much do I owe you?"

He got slapped haha
Oct 13 2013 3:34PM
0 0
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-PoonHammer-
Posts: 281 - Karma: 779
"Get bent, nerds."
Oct 13 2013 3:34PM
0 0
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