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I wrote the following while watching this 'masterpiece.' Nope, I don't doo sympathy. No, I didn't like the movie. Good thing it was only 12 bucks.
My room mate walked in while I'm watching this.
"Why are you watching planet earth, football is on?"
Seriously, I'm not finished with it, but fuck this is a whacked out movie.
Planet earth, birds, old Tibetan dude, birds, time lapse, scitzophrenic snowboarder, birds, more mountains, a little bit of awesome skiing, a south amaerican desert wtf? Dead bird on kye's head...are all pro skiers this dumb? Sweet some environmental bullshit, birds, retarded and soon to be dead mountaineers (who splits up? Honestly Darwin Award in the making), birds, and donkeys, little bit more skiing but its so edited I have no idea what they did. Ooooo, lets be all cool and hip with these native Americans doing a dance as we absurd their music with dubstep, any other culture we can fuck with while being sensitive. Drums, moar birds, dead bird transition to ICU.
Seriously they managed to make this horseshit epileptic and boring at the same fucking time. Back to planet fucking earth now, except over head edited, and no fucking penguins (yet). Look a tropical wave just turned to fresh snow. And a guy is wearing gortex in the ocean; what an idiot. Good snowboarder though. Insert shit surf shots that have nothing to do with the movie here. Did you know all pro skiers and snowboarders wish they were pro surfers.
Buffalo skiers and birds - another dumb surf shot- that Tom Wallisch is really good at this - how much did they pay him?
I saw that big horn in Travis Rice's film too!
Huh? Kyaking too? Wtf? Back to the fucking ICU. MY HANDS!!!
How did I get here? Oh yeah, I was that retarted mountaineer from scene uno.
More motion sickness.
Hey some more skiing, I bet they will ruin it with a bird montage soon, nope he crashed.
I bet this is a good film if you are a anti-depressant abusing chain smoking skier racking up unaffordable student loan debt on your sixth year of a film studies major at some privet jerkoff liberal arts college for those looking to 'express them selves' at local organic coffee shops. Maybe less eye liner dude.
Hey the Tibetan dude is back, still spinning his spindle.
Movie might be half over or something, fuck if I know.
It going to be a bitch for Ian Macintosh to summit Denali with 192 Shiros and dukes. Fastest decent ever? That was actually cool. Why didn't they edit in some nativ Americans, surfing or birds? Totally could have fucked it up like everything else. Eew, ugly people face montage.
Back to old man with spindle.
This chapter title came from game of thrones.
I'd be pissed if you bought heli time to film me skinning and boot packing up a mountain.
This whole 'story line' is a bunch of non sequiturs.
Mandatory shot of moon goes here
Enough game of thrones titles allready.
Mom of retarded mountaineer is now showing a photo album to said mountaineer and having flashbacks. Snow is disappearing. This would be sad, but I don't do sympathy.
Is that a glue on old man beard? Ok, I was going to delete all the shit I said about being a retarded mountaineer, but that was too stupid.
Almost a stupid as going at it alone... Predicted how that would turn out...
And now the old Tibetan dude has some photos.
You spin me round, right round, right round.
Black screen, is this the end?
Now you guilt trip me into feeling bad about writing this? Yes I miss some of those people too.
Back to a slide show off all the people who you are sending invoices too. In order to pay for this schizophrenic motion sickness.
Hope that mountaineer is ok. Seriously I do, sucks when people get hurt. Hope he recovered, filed that one under 'lessons learned' and gets back too it.