try this, Bret is the brim ninja.
------------------------------------------------------------------
'Today I washed my shirt with my washboard abs. I didn't even have to take it off, I just poured water on the stain and scrubbed it on my abs.' (My little brother)
'I'm in his nigger crew' (my little brother in response to my statement that he was in my 'digger crew')
'My knee hurts' (Jeff Merat after grinding a lunch table for an hour instead of sitting in the ski patrol shack for his torm mcl and acl which he got earlier that day.)
'I'm not asking for any help, just maybe for you to get off your ass.'(my dad)