ill make mine with a few steps, for additional excitement
1)shoot it a couple times with a bb gun (if you have one, shooting a real gun would just be too fast)
2)give it a couple swings with an axe
3)run over it with your car
4)jump on it with ski boots for the hell of it
5)place it in a small recipient of gasoline and burn it
6)take the bits remaining, place them in a mold similar to the one here, and smelt them with a blow torch until you have yourself a dick made out of your old rooter as a souvenir.