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WWYD? (religious, TLDR, NSFA)

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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152

What would you do? Too long, didn't read. Not safe for anyone.

What would you do if a couple of members of your extended family were balls-to-the-wall religious and tried to push it on you? How woud you respond to the following email? Be honest-- what is the best way to respond to a loved one who has completely different religious views than you, in order to get them to back off and respect your own decisions without destroying your relationship? How do you let someone as condescending and arrogant as this know that you don't appreciate their message without any hard feelings?

Some thoughts for you...have you received Jesus's grace & forgiveness in your life?  What/who is it you are living for?  We all know what/who Mom lived for and I believe it was to love/honor God with her life and I would say we all had great respect for her and that's why.  What made her memorial service so meaningful and special was knowing how she lived her life and where she is now.  Have you surrendered your life to Christ?  There is truly no better way to live than with Christ at the center!  That's how life works best!  I see you as someone who tries desperately to keep the peace in your family yet not at peace with yourself.  You have been under a ton of stress so many different times in your life with your family and I often think...if they would only put Christ & others ahead of themselves things would be so different.  I don't want you to feel like I'm preaching to you but if you do I'm ok with it because I care about you and love you so want to speak the truth!  Life is so short and the only reason we are here is because of God.  I want you to experience full, abundant life with Him.  Jesus loves you so much and it's never too late to turn your life over to Him.  Life is not about pleasing others, it is about loving God and a benefit is richer/more meaningful relationships or just trusting Him with those relationships.  Are my relationships with my immediate family & extended family perfect or great all the time...absolutely not!   My natural self is very selfish so I know I need to rely on Christ to put others ahead of myself.  It's lifelong learning!  I know I have been forgiven much so I need to forgive.  I know I have received grace so I need to give grace.  I know I have been blessed with much so need to bless others....My life is changed because of Christ in me!   I am special  but you are special too because you are created by God and Christ paid the price to save your life!  We all have the opportunity to be children of the King and that's what I have chosen.  The most important questions you'll ever answer in your life are...What do you believe about Jesus?  And what did you do with Him?  

Jul 18 2013 11:33AM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152
you're an idiot.
Jul 18 2013 11:37AM
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yelsel
Posts: 12967 - Karma: 3,451
I would just delete it and go about my day. however, if they were sending those types of emails every single day, i would just respond back that i respect their views and they should respect mine by not sending me this bullshit anymore.
Jul 18 2013 11:42AM
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EricCartman
Posts: 268 - Karma: 410
Click for larger image
Jul 18 2013 11:43AM
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Iraq_Lobster
Posts: 1866 - Karma: 4,904
ill light you on fire and send you to hell. thats what jesus would do anyway
Jul 18 2013 11:46AM
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Colin.W
Posts: 592 - Karma: 155
Tell them you don't do all that Jesus stuff like they do or tell them that Satan has corrupted you and you like it. Either should work.
Jul 18 2013 11:47AM
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Bogs
Posts: 4296 - Karma: 1,361
just tell them you don't want to discuss your religious beliefs with them?
Jul 18 2013 12:01PM
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howlongcanausern
Posts: 4982 - Karma: 1,737
be an adult and not discuss my personal beliefs. is it that hard?

why do liberals find an opposing world view so hard to deal with?
Jul 18 2013 12:05PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
dont be rude. and dont respond with your beliefs. if it were me i would just humor them and go on with my day
Jul 18 2013 12:09PM
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Bogs
Posts: 4296 - Karma: 1,361
why do conservatives insist on making sweeping, inaccurate generalizations about everyone not exactly like them?
Jul 18 2013 12:13PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152

It is a little more complicated than that. My mom is one of seven siblings-- we have family reunions every year. My Grandpa (their dad) is Muslim, but his wife was very Catholic (she recently passed). Four of the children are very religious (Christian/Catholic), and of the three remaining--one is my mom (religious but not to a point of fanaticism), one is in a nursing hom with dimentia, and one doesn't come to the reunions. The four super religious children are guilt tripping my grandpa hard about religion and how he needs to accept Jesus or he wont be with his wife when he passes. They are also doing this to my mom (the email was to her). My mom is in a hard place on trying to find out the best way to move forward with these siblings to attempt to have a relationship. Any short response such as "I'd rather not discuss" is just met with additional religious response. She is looking to me for guidance, and I just thought I'd give NS a whirl before I provided her with my thoughts.

At this point they have not convinced my Grandpa to convert, but they have convinced him that my mom does not live a pure life through Jesus as their mother would have wanted, so he's started to turn on her.

When it comes to our family and our elderly (my Grandpa)-- you can't just speak your mind. It doesn't work- it's just met with contempt. She doesn't want to alienate herself from the family, but she wants to reach a point where there is peace among family members.

Jul 18 2013 12:18PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
I'd rewrite that exact email except I'd replace all instances of "God" "Jesus" etc. with "Fulfillment" "Happiness" and "acceptance of others" etc.

Either that or swap it up for "the magical flying spaghetti monster" and get really hammer the point home.

I almost always meet intolerance with more intolerance just so they can see how it feels even if I don't necessarily disagree with their premise.


Jul 18 2013 12:19PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
It's not the opposing world view, it's the insistence that your life is an empty shell until you abandon your heathen lifestyle and start sucking Jesus' dick 24/7 that most well adjusted adults find annoying at best.
Jul 18 2013 12:21PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
Holy shit I'd fucking berate them in real life. I'm talking straight up telling them to go put their noses in the fucking corner because they should be ashamed of themselves. I'd literally sacrifice my own relationship with them to make them realize how unfair that is to pummel someone with. What a bunch of fucking assholes!

I don't expect you to do that by any means but that got me so goddam mad just thinking about it. I know I would not be able to process that situation without yelling.
Jul 18 2013 12:25PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152

Yes I know. It takes everything in me not to stand up for my mom. I don't because she has begged me not to and so far I have respected her wishes.

They even went so far when my grandma was very ill to say to my grandpa that she was "hanging on to see him accept Jesus. Grandma can go be in heaven with her savior if you accept Jesus. She is staying here in misery and in pain only to see that day, and when you accept Jesus as the center of your life you will give her permission to die, peacefully."

Jul 18 2013 12:32PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
My God, you are a stronger person than I am.

Religious people are the worst, they really are such sick bastards- who would even want to think like that?? Man, that is just so hurtful I don't think I could hear that and not react with rage. You are surely a better person than I am.

I'm in just about the opposite situation, my mom/stepdad went full Jesus mode and the rest of the family is kind of rolling their eyes. I've had to tell them no several times but they arent full on crazy like your story. Damn, that is just cruel. I wish you the best in dealing with that, I don't think there are any easy answers let alone ways to combat that without pissing people off- but aren't they pissing everyone else off already? I think it may be time to fight fire with a little fire of your own. Maybe a slice of "Y'know, I was considering converting, but since you've all been saying such horrible hurtful things to people who are perfectly good human beings that love you without such demands, I have decided that I would never want to be so hurtful or single minded to those I love and subsequently have decided to head the other direction and hail Satan."



Jul 18 2013 12:39PM
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howlongcanausern
Posts: 4982 - Karma: 1,737
being passive aggressive/edgy will do nothing but fuel the fire
Jul 18 2013 12:42PM
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Bogs
Posts: 4296 - Karma: 1,361
that's just wrong.
Jul 18 2013 12:42PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
I would politely tell them to fuck off, and keep their beliefs to themselves and I'll keep mine to myself.
Jul 18 2013 12:47PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
Nah, it works just fine if all I need to do is get across that I'm pissed, don't care WHY they're being assholes and only that they need to keep their childlike belief in magical omnipotent entities to themselves if they don't want to be berated like a child again.

Also it's worth noting that I believe in God, but I think religion and overbearing religious people in general can suck a cock. I don't have to believe what you believe to be a good person. Period. Accept it or write me off, I honestly don't care which.
Jul 18 2013 12:48PM
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Schlutz
Posts: 858 - Karma: 425
They took that way, way too far. First thing I would do is comfort your grandpa and make sure none of what they are saying is getting into his head. After you reverse the damage they may have done, I would let them know that what they did was wrong and then ignore them just so that you don't escalate things. If they take it upon themselves to escalate it though, such as bombarding you, your mom, or your grandpa with shit, I would definitely try harder to get them to shut up. If it gets too serious again, get restraining orders. It might sound extreme, but if they are really being fucking idiots who don't respect your wishes, don't let them get the chance to do it again.
Jul 18 2013 2:05PM
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Casey
Posts: 7849 - Karma: 24,323
Shes in Wa and everyone else lives in south dakota. I think the highly conservative majority of the family resents her for being moderately liberal and living in Seattle and
Jul 18 2013 9:14PM
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Casey
Posts: 7849 - Karma: 24,323
Being too far away to support the elders.
Jul 18 2013 9:15PM
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yourthemannowdog
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 313
Do what a virtuous person would do. Assess if you are being too mean or too nice. If you are too nice, trying being more mean. Same goes for fat/skinny, honest/dishonest, quiet/loud, etc.
Jul 18 2013 9:20PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,298
Ahhh so much conflict over a "story" written by a bunch of people who didn't understand how lightning worked...


Religion baffles me because it is so painfully obvious a magical, dragon riding, bearded guardian in the sky doesn't exist, and yet people follow the stories written by an ignorant, 1,000 year old people as if it were a manuscript on how to live your life. Really fucking foolish.
Jul 18 2013 10:12PM
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katie.
Posts: 2833 - Karma: 874
Religion, fine.

Trying to force feed someone religion for dinner - fuck that.

I just wonder what the motive is for hyper religious people to try and force choke people around them with their views? What good will it bring them? Who the fuck cares if someone doesn't devote their life to jesus as long as you do? Honestly. Religion should be a personal way to connect with whatever you believe in. It's fine to worship with other people who think the same thing as you. But people who don't? Leave them the fuck alone. Nobody fucking cares about how you were saved when you started chilling with jesus.

In response to that email, I vote a simple "Thank you for your opinion, although it is evident we don't see eye to eye"

Jul 18 2013 10:21PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
this so much.



OP, i would honestly ignore it in an attempt to be mature and do my best not to offend anybody (however fucking stupid and rude they clearly are).

If ignoring it doesn't work, and you keep getting such arrogant, pushy, over the top outlandish insane e-mails, then it might be time to more forcefully explain that you respect their beliefs but would prefer they not attempt to influence yours.

although if it was me, i would happily tell any extended family member to fuck off and take their fairytale bullshit and shove it. there's no subject i can't stand more than religion.
Jul 18 2013 10:38PM
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BlueSteele
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
No matter what your beliefs are, that is wrong. They are using Christ as an excuse to manipulate people. I would not have tolerated that, sometimes your mother's pleas to keep peace are not warranted. Behavior like that is like cancer in a family and it's going to tear you guys apart.
Jul 18 2013 10:47PM
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Wolfgang.
Posts: 807 - Karma: 866
I would tell him to just stop it, you are both obviously spiritually committed to opposing beliefs and are quite determined to remain that way, and there is thus no point in arguing over such intangibles.
Jul 18 2013 11:22PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152
Thanks to everyone for your posts-- especially this one--good simile and very true.
Jul 18 2013 11:44PM
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