Replying to Editing Help: Please rip my edit a new one.

So I made this little edit of my boss and I kayaking, and one of our coworkers sent it to his friend who wants to monetize it and further edits by selling direct ads to large media channels. I suck at editing and am overwhelmed by this invitation, and would love some harsh critiques that I can learn from, as well as tips for editing in FCP. I shoot on my gopro and edit in Final Cut X (I also have FCP7 but prefer X because I have no idea what I'm doing).

Thanks for the critiques; I'm sure there are a bunch!