Most embarrassing interaction with a stranger

Pe were at the races in st cloud two days ago, and the urinals were so close that you could just about feel your neighbors ball hair on the back of your hands. I insert myself into the open gap and right away the guy peeing next to me slaps me on the back and starts talking about being from missouri and asking if i have stage fright.
I tried to grunt replies while pushing as hard as i can, and he finished up and then just stood next to me. he asks me questions, and i'm so focused on tearing my bladder that i cant even expel air that doesnt sound like a rumbling growl.
People were just STARING at us, wondering why one guy is standing sideways at the urinals, rubbing the back of another guy who isnt peeing and is grunting at the first guy.
I finally got the flow started and pushed so hard so i could get out of there that  i developed spinal bifida.  I wash my hands and bail, feeling violated, and he follows me out! He keeps following me and trying to stand next to me until i finally find my gf, then he stands there for a minute looking around to see if anyone noticed him trying to hold on to my pocket t-bag style, then casually sidled up to the atm to act like that was his original intent, rather than raping me as soon as we were alone.
I've had nightmares for two nights now. help me

LOL I SEE WHAT I DID THERE. we were there too

usually if my mum is picking me up from somewhere, i will try to scare the fuck out of her. she never gets scare though. anyway i was waiting for my mum and i see her car roll up, i sneak like a honey badger to the passenger door, and get in as fast and loud as i can. it was not my mothers car. i sure scared the lady driving it though!

this thread has a lot of spelling mistakes

My friend was pissing off my balcony about a year ago and my downstairs neighbor walked out to smoke and right into his pee stream and looked up and got pee all over his face. We ended up having to give him some cash. one time I was at a gas station and was checking out this girl that was walking in the store and I accidentally got in the wrong car and the guy in the passenger seat was like "what are you doing" and I was like "oh man i'm really sorry I thought this was my car...

you are a mistake.

Went to the bathroom with a friend, thought she went in the next to me. She farted loud then started peeing. In the stupidest voice ever, I said "you farted! I heard you! Teehee". Then my friend opened my stall, silently laughing her ass off. I was so embarrassed I ran out without washing my hands

Once my friend and I met with a foreign affairs official for a school related interview, and so my friend introduces himself as Liam (his name). They had a pleasant exchange, they as it came my turn to introduce my myself, I introduce myself as Liam as well (not my name).

ill bread you fuckin idiot.