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It's not about how good your speech is, it's about how popular/funny you are.
Do not (under ANY circumstances):
-Rap
-Sing
-Bore people
-Try and control the crowd (usually ends in very, very awkward situations when the crowd does nothing except laugh at you)
-Mumble
-Talk too fast
-Make an excessively long speech
Do:
-Prepare yourself way beforehand (Think of jokes, make sure they're funny by asking around, for example)
-Be funny
-Be entertaining
-Say your name so that people actually know who you are
-Think outside the box
-Be creative/unique
-Keep it relatively short