Member of the Month

partyandBS
December, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Thought the horse was dead.

profile picture
Karkoskier
Posts: 2999 - Karma: 4,662
So about 30 minutes ago I just got out of the shower, and hear my door bell ring. So wearing nothing but a towel I answer the door and one of my town's police officers is standing right there. At first I was like holy shit what did I do, then I was like holy shit I have no clothes on. So he was like "yeah, we just got a 911 call saying that a dark brown horse in your pasture appeared to be dead, but both of the horses are over there eating grass so I just wanted to let you know why I was hear" Well it turns out people are fucking retarded and don't realize horses sleep laying down like most land mammals do. Anyways the cop and I both have a good laugh over the stupidity of whoever called, and now I can say I've talked to a police officer wearing nothing but a towel. Anyone else have any experiences with bogus 911 calls?
May 1 2013 12:06PM
106 4
profile picture
1337
Posts: 31063 - Karma: 29,375
I chuckled, quite an experience right there. Would have been good if you were being arrested but a neighbor thinking the horse was dead...
May 1 2013 12:08PM
4 0
profile picture
Karkoskier
Posts: 2999 - Karma: 4,662
It wasn't even my neighbor because my only neighbor for a solid 2 miles is my aunt who takes care of the horses. It was just some dumbass driving by my house. haha and yeah I was thinking "What if I got arrested wearing nothing but a towel" after he left.
May 1 2013 12:10PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
That's why you should always whip a dead horse to make sure that it is dead.

You get bonus points if you do it wearing nothing but a towel.
May 1 2013 12:13PM
1 0
profile picture
first_rodeo
Posts: 2385 - Karma: 7,781

we have a neighbor that sits in the front window all day and calls us everytime the cows get close to the fence or look at her the wrong way

May 1 2013 12:16PM
9 1
profile picture
ChocolateMilk.
Posts: 1129 - Karma: 220
Our horse jumped a fence and kicked a car a few weeks ago and totaled it. Horse is completely fine. /Claim
May 1 2013 12:17PM
4 0
profile picture
El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,350
Double bonus points if you whip it with the towel
May 1 2013 12:18PM
6 0
profile picture
1337
Posts: 31063 - Karma: 29,375
exactly what i was thinking
May 1 2013 12:20PM
0 0
profile picture
Karkoskier
Posts: 2999 - Karma: 4,662
Wouldn't that be triple bonus points because I'd be naked whipping it with the towel that I was just wearing?
May 1 2013 12:21PM
4 0
profile picture
jake_tom_sully
Posts: 356 - Karma: 242
well i feel retarded, I kinda thought they slept standing up a lot of the time too and my gf has dedicated her life to riding, should probably have known that. why would you call the police though lol
May 1 2013 12:25PM
1 0
profile picture
MASkier
Posts: 657 - Karma: 704
Some horses actually do when they are sleeping lightly.
May 1 2013 12:30PM
0 0
profile picture
TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11989 - Karma: 12,265
Triple point bonus if you cock slap the dead horse.
May 1 2013 12:30PM
11 0
profile picture
Darth.Maul
Posts: 2472 - Karma: 652
It would be 4x bonus points. 2x for whipping it for a towel and 2x for being naked while doing it. You can get another 2x bonus if you film it using a chest mount gopro.
May 1 2013 12:32PM
4 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
Dead horse trotting?!?!?!
May 1 2013 12:32PM
1 0
profile picture
Daph
Posts: 5978 - Karma: 5,010
Bahahaha yessss

I love how people don't know that horses also sleep lying down. My grandma got into a huge argument with my dad about it (and she's the one who paid for my dad's vet school so he could be come a HORSE VET). She still wouldn't believe him so he took a picture of our boys, all 3 of which were passed the fuck out in the sun and sent it to her.

Its super cute when they snore
May 1 2013 1:00PM
1 0
profile picture
Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
Should have been like "I know I just killed it with my bare hands, why do you think I was just showering?!?"
May 1 2013 1:05PM
4 1
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
A live one or a dead one?
May 1 2013 1:07PM
0 0
profile picture
MASkier
Posts: 657 - Karma: 704
I do not get this reference.
May 1 2013 1:14PM
1 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,903
Sorry, maybe it should have been:

Dead Mane Walking.

Click for larger image
May 1 2013 1:23PM
2 0
profile picture
El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,350
Im going for a new high score
May 1 2013 1:36PM
0 0
profile picture
SKI.ING
Posts: 2695 - Karma: 2,536
I didn't know so many people on newschoolers would own horses.
May 1 2013 1:40PM
1 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51983 - Karma: 166,559
Click for larger image
Click for larger image
Click for larger image
May 1 2013 1:42PM
5 0
profile picture
snowdon
Posts: 2480 - Karma: 391
I've heard of this exact situation happening to other people OP, where someone freaks out thinking the horse is dead when he's actually just napping. For some reason it just doesn't occur to people that sometimes horses doze standing up, sometimes they lay down and kind of curl up, and sometimes you'll find them laying flat out and snoring.
May 1 2013 2:13PM
2 0
profile picture
Boomhauer
Posts: 16 - Karma: 100
man talkin' bout sleepin' horses man dang ol lyin' dead but aint really dead yo like a cow tippin' honky tonkin' blues no end in sight yo
May 1 2013 2:20PM
4 0
profile picture
Karkoskier
Posts: 2999 - Karma: 4,662
Now a State Forest Ranger truck was just parked in front of my pasture for a solid 20 minutes. Maybe Fox News, and NBC will show up next to do a story on it...
May 1 2013 2:46PM
1 0
profile picture
Karkoskier
Posts: 2999 - Karma: 4,662
As a King of the Hill fan. I'm okay with this reply.
May 1 2013 2:48PM
1 0
profile picture
Turkelton
Posts: 2829 - Karma: 8,558
WHY HAS EVERYONE GOT BOVINE ANIMALS?
May 1 2013 2:56PM
2 0
profile picture
Miomo
Posts: 4302 - Karma: 14,135
Hahahahahhaha
May 1 2013 3:36PM
0 0
profile picture
GEORGEzimmerman
Posts: 1473 - Karma: 440
my friend left my house early one morning and set the alarm off and i slept through it. so the police show up to my house, my front door is open, and I'm asleep. so i wake up to 'HELLO SHERRIFFS DEPARTMENT." i reek of dabs from the night before, and im super out of it. to make things short i go out and talk with them for a little bit, explain the situation, and we laugh and they take off, no worries.
May 1 2013 4:21PM
0 2
profile picture
first_rodeo
Posts: 2385 - Karma: 7,781

Good read

May 1 2013 4:33PM
2 0
profile picture
a_burger
Posts: 5244 - Karma: 20,857
My house is on top of a hill, and one time someone who had moved in on a nearby hill reported that our house was a UFO...


May 1 2013 4:43PM
4 0
profile picture
MASkier
Posts: 657 - Karma: 704
Click for larger image
May 1 2013 9:04PM
2 0
profile picture
ThundaKilla
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 3,781
yea until it cock slaps you back
May 1 2013 9:07PM
3 0
profile picture
joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
I live in northern Ontario, and our local ski hill hired a bunch of Aussies for the winter. So anyway, my friend and I were chatting with one of the Aussie instructors, and she told us about how a skunk sprayed her dog, and then she thought the smell in the house was possibly a gas leak, so she called the fire department. (No skunks in Australia). Apparently the fire fighters had a good laugh about that.
May 1 2013 9:12PM
0 0
profile picture
Daph
Posts: 5978 - Karma: 5,010
Bovine animals are a completely different thing. Bovine implies cow. Cows are ruminants, meaning they have a chambered stomach. Horses are referred to as Equine. They have a normal, one chambered stomach. In fact the primary difference between their digestive system and ours is that they have a larger colon because they are herbivores.

I think what you meant to say is WHY HAS EVERYONE GOT UNGULATE ANIMALS

Ungulate means hooved.



Click for larger image
May 1 2013 9:22PM
5 0
All times are Eastern (-5)