Replying to Embarrassing situations

so the other day i was taking a nice bike ride over to my local supermarket to buy some laxatives cause i had been backed up for the last 5 days and i was starting to worry that i would probably blow up. so as soon as i bought it i ate half of them thinking they would kick in in about 20 minutes or so. but boy was i wrong these were ultra fast acting laxatives. when i was on the way back my tummy started rumbling and i felt like i was gonna shit in mah pants so i started biking really fast. but that made me lose all bowel control and my dhiareaa flew out behind me at 40mph right onto this guys windshiled. this terrified me so i biked all the way to my house. i thought i would be safe form the guy whos windshield i recently shat on but he actually followed the trail i lieft behind and he broke down my down and lit my house on fire. it was really emabarrasing when i had to call my mom and tell her how our house got burned down.