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March, 2025

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Breaking News: Airplanes are way too expensive, Wright brothers apologize

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Derelicte
Posts: 300 - Karma: 298
A spokesperson for the Wright brothers has issued a formal apology stating the brothers are "sorry for inventing the airplane" cause "it's just too expensive for anyone to own." A fervor has erupted on skiing website newschoolers.com after questions were raised as to how upstart ski entrepreneur David Lesh could possibly afford an airplane. Wright brothers spokesperson Bob Cheesedick has publicly stated that there is no possible way Mr. Lesh should be able to "own an airplane (from)...selling shitty ski jackets."

According to Forbes.com there are only 12 known people alive who have enough money to own an airplane. Mr. Cheesedick has stated that "only Jon Olsson has enough money for private air travel within the ski industry."

Reuters
12 years ago
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DGski
Posts: 3491 - Karma: 2,328
Lol
12 years ago
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CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
Ha
12 years ago
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90053
Posts: 2565 - Karma: 3,728
[chuckle]
12 years ago
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Bagina
Posts: 849 - Karma: 2,888
.
12 years ago
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Mr.Bishop
Posts: 22732 - Karma: 76,947
Dude - start writing onion-style news articles and posting them. This could be the start of something really epic.

https://www.newschoolers.com/newseditor
12 years ago
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Downtofilm
Posts: 6896 - Karma: 20,395

12 years ago
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cydwhit
Posts: 5077 - Karma: 43,062
Please, we need The Radical Radish, The Onion's little brother who is into extreme sports
12 years ago
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Mr.Bishop
Posts: 22732 - Karma: 76,947
Ok please, please, please someone start this series of news articles. Make it a weekly thing.

12 years ago
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NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,410
Oh god QFE.

This would be awesome, especially since it would have developed from some arguments about lesh and a trust fund.
12 years ago
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~bagelz~
Posts: 1105 - Karma: 1,067
^^^
12 years ago
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edai
Posts: 4995 - Karma: 4,705
Click for larger image
12 years ago
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NoSkillsCrew
Posts: 1209 - Karma: 2,155
Isn't BroBomb the tight pants wearing pbr guzzling version of this?
12 years ago
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Derelicte
Posts: 300 - Karma: 298
Haha, if only I had enough time + ideas
12 years ago
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Derelicte
Posts: 300 - Karma: 298
Haha, if only I had enough time + ideas
12 years ago
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cydwhit
Posts: 5077 - Karma: 43,062
I'm down to give it a shot, but you have set a high bar my friend
12 years ago
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scarsimd
Posts: 668 - Karma: 773
planes are for posers, submarines is where its at.
12 years ago
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JWeinstock
Posts: 3439 - Karma: 1,352
.
12 years ago
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All times are Eastern (-4); Currently it's 9:16PM