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December, 2024

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Breaking News: Airplanes are way too expensive, Wright brothers apologize

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Derelicte
Posts: 300 - Karma: 298
A spokesperson for the Wright brothers has issued a formal apology stating the brothers are "sorry for inventing the airplane" cause "it's just too expensive for anyone to own." A fervor has erupted on skiing website newschoolers.com after questions were raised as to how upstart ski entrepreneur David Lesh could possibly afford an airplane. Wright brothers spokesperson Bob Cheesedick has publicly stated that there is no possible way Mr. Lesh should be able to "own an airplane (from)...selling shitty ski jackets."

According to Forbes.com there are only 12 known people alive who have enough money to own an airplane. Mr. Cheesedick has stated that "only Jon Olsson has enough money for private air travel within the ski industry."

Reuters
Apr 21 2013 11:50AM
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DGski
Posts: 3491 - Karma: 2,328
Lol
Apr 21 2013 11:53AM
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CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
Ha
Apr 21 2013 12:02PM
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90053
Posts: 2565 - Karma: 3,728
[chuckle]
Apr 21 2013 12:10PM
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Bagina
Posts: 849 - Karma: 2,888
.
Apr 21 2013 1:55PM
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Mr.Bishop
Posts: 22708 - Karma: 76,635
Dude - start writing onion-style news articles and posting them. This could be the start of something really epic.

https://www.newschoolers.com/newseditor
Apr 21 2013 2:17PM
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Downtofilm
Posts: 6896 - Karma: 20,395

Apr 21 2013 2:35PM
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cydwhit
Posts: 5075 - Karma: 43,042
Please, we need The Radical Radish, The Onion's little brother who is into extreme sports
Apr 21 2013 2:54PM
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Mr.Bishop
Posts: 22708 - Karma: 76,635
Ok please, please, please someone start this series of news articles. Make it a weekly thing.

Apr 21 2013 2:56PM
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NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,411
Oh god QFE.

This would be awesome, especially since it would have developed from some arguments about lesh and a trust fund.
Apr 21 2013 3:54PM
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~bagelz~
Posts: 1105 - Karma: 1,067
^^^
Apr 21 2013 4:37PM
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edai
Posts: 4991 - Karma: 4,680
Click for larger image
Apr 21 2013 4:45PM
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NoSkillsCrew
Posts: 1204 - Karma: 2,113
Isn't BroBomb the tight pants wearing pbr guzzling version of this?
Apr 21 2013 4:46PM
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Derelicte
Posts: 300 - Karma: 298
Haha, if only I had enough time + ideas
Apr 21 2013 5:24PM
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Derelicte
Posts: 300 - Karma: 298
Haha, if only I had enough time + ideas
Apr 21 2013 5:24PM
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cydwhit
Posts: 5075 - Karma: 43,042
I'm down to give it a shot, but you have set a high bar my friend
Apr 21 2013 5:28PM
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scarsimd
Posts: 668 - Karma: 773
planes are for posers, submarines is where its at.
Apr 21 2013 5:44PM
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JWeinstock
Posts: 3439 - Karma: 1,352
.
Apr 21 2013 6:49PM
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