Replying to A bad day

So, about a month ago I had band after school on a fresh, fascist Sunday the day of our beautiful lord. I took a shower, quickly before leaving, scrubbing my butt rigorously because I released diarrhea minutes before. Clean and smelling of dove soap I grabbed my keys and went outside in the pupil of night. Before, I left I took my carine terrier out so that she could release her excrements. However, when I let her in I stepped in her poop. However, I could not change my shoes because I would be late. Following this, I got into my car and left. About 5mins into the drive smelling of diarrhea, a cat ran into the road, instead of turning or slowing down I sped up and purposefully hit the cat. Ensuing this, I backed up to observe the damage that I committed. The cats head exploded, I killed it and cried. Although, I thought I purposely killed the cat, it was simply a reaction that I could not control. I got back in the car and proceeded on my way. 10mins later I arrived at the school. Walking as if I had a stick up my butthole I went to band. A young girl walked by me telling her friends that she smelt poop or burning rubber. I was farting profusely, beans the night before, had met my sphincter. The poop was edging out. Before class, I ran to the bathroom however, the door was locked. I knocked and my teacher uttered, "bathroom taken." I pooped my pants diarrhea squirted and seeped down my pants. I moaned and following this my teacher opened the door. I pushed him aside and pulled down my pants already riddled with the rubber burning diarrhea. I was changed a new man, a decisive man. The deed was done and nothing could prevent it. I left and later the next day got written up for leaving band early.