I thought I would take a moment to entertain yall.
Background:
I coach a freestyle/freeride team on the weekends in Vail. My buddy Topher and I have 17 kids that we ski with. The youngest is 8 and the oldest is almost 11. We do park, big mountain and bumps.
Saturday:
Topher couldn't make it Saturday so we got a sub who happened to be Lindsey Vonn's little brother. He rips so I am thinking this is going to be an epic day. Unfortunately, one of our guys was ejecting out of his binding every time he hit a jump and another showed up wearing 2 different sized boots. These things took most of the morning to correct. After lunch, one of the kids on my team is riding up the lift with Reed(the guest coach) and the kid says, "Sometimes I enjoy wearing my mom's panties and her bra, and my friend likes to wear his grandmother's underwear". He (the kid in question) was not messing with Reed; he just felt like sharing. Reed told me about it when we got off the chair, and, after laughing my ass off, I just mentally filed it in the WTF! file. We got down to the park and I told the kid, who is one of the best skiers on the team, to try a switch 3. He had never done or even attempted one before, but drops in, does it and skis it out like a G. At this point I am seriously considering a change of undergarments!
Sunday:
Still no Topher and Reed isn't into subbing again. He probably assumes that we are idiots and are kids are cross dressers. I have another sub coach, Dave. Dave is the only African American ski instructor at Vail, that I know of. I had never talked with him before, but I always got the impression that he thought I was a tool or something. Anyway, he was awesome, and we had a day for the record books. Skied until we puked and then skied some more. The kids were ripping, and there was no discussion about lingerie preference. At one point we lost Dave. It was the first time I ever had to call in for a lost coach, but we found him on the next run.
My son is on the team this year for the first time. It was actually a pretty big deal to get that to happen because you are not supposed to coach your own children. The head of Vail Resorts ski school actually had to sign off on it. Kind of nuts how big of a deal they thought it was. Anyway, my son has never been the most aggressive kid in the group and I am totally cool with that. Sunday, I was leading the kids through a tight tree run, affectionately referred to as WFO (Way dafuck over). I am really feeling it and decide to make the jump to "ludicrous speed". After skiing a section of trees way too fast, I stopped and waited for the kids and Dave to catch up. To my amazement, the first kid to ski up to me was my son, and he was stoked out of his mind. For a dad, there is no bigger WIN.
In the afternoon we met up with the mom of the "sharing" kid from Saturday. It was pretty hard for me to keep from laughing uncontrollably. There was no way I was about to say anything to her about it. On the other hand, his dad and I have been friends for years. I may have to bring this up to him over beers one night. I will post the results of that conversation.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I hope you get some LOLs out of it.
Just call me Gretel!
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