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Funniest story from when you were little?

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shitpoop
Posts: 667 - Karma: 1,479
When I was around 8, and started losing teeth, I asked my parent to tie a string on my tooth and yank it out cause I was scared of the pain.......I ended up pulling it out by my self after the refused to do it.
Feb 24 2013 1:53PM
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BeefiestExpert
Posts: 2804 - Karma: 3,277
very good story.
Feb 24 2013 1:56PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
i used to have fun with this, one time i tied it to a remote control car to yank it out
Feb 24 2013 1:58PM
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MASkier
Posts: 657 - Karma: 704
I used to shit on the floor a lot.
Feb 24 2013 2:09PM
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stezybake[D]oven
Posts: 370 - Karma: 36
threw a garder snake down my moms shirt once, stupid bitch wouldn't let me have ice cream.
Feb 24 2013 3:44PM
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Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
Dad walked into the bathroom to find my 5 year old sister trying to shave my 2 year old head with a can of whipped cream and a razor with no blade. The photo has gone missing. I suspect the parent hiding it is waiting for one of us to get married. We are sure proving that unlikely.
Feb 24 2013 3:56PM
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BertBoyd
Posts: 734 - Karma: 2,253
When i was 4 i walked into a pool to deep and almost drowned. Very funny
Feb 24 2013 3:57PM
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nagger
Posts: 1576 - Karma: 883
one time I stole my grandma's van
Feb 24 2013 4:04PM
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POTandPans
Posts: 590 - Karma: 46
i tried shaving my cat when i was 16 and accidentally killed it
Feb 24 2013 4:08PM
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Mr.Mitten
Posts: 1325 - Karma: 3,835
On my 5th birthday i got a toy BuzzLightyear, and he was awesome. I thought he could fly like in Toy Story so i threw him down the stairs and his hand broke off. Quite sad. Not super funny, but a solid story.
Feb 24 2013 4:12PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
I've never told anybody this before, as far as I can remember, but when I six i would go with my family to the high school basketball games and would get reall bored and explore the school and go underneath the bleachers and what not. I was in the bathroom and the other schools cheerleaders had left there duffle bags and jackets in the bathroom so I took all there stuff and put it in various toilets. I have no clue why I did this, I was a mischievous little fucker I guess. No one ever found out who did it, but on my way home I asked everyone in the car "did you hear about all the cheerleaders getting there stuff dunked in the toilets?" And everyone was like ooooh yea that was really bad, I wonder who did that
Feb 24 2013 4:18PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
I THOUGHT MY BUZZ LIGHTYEAR COULD FLY TOO!!! you press a button and the wings come out right? oh man the memories. did yours have a red button on his arm that lit up a red light somewhere?
Feb 24 2013 7:35PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
Click for larger image
Feb 24 2013 7:36PM
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s.parker
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 259
same here! twas quite the funny time.
Feb 24 2013 8:15PM
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Mr.Mitten
Posts: 1325 - Karma: 3,835
Holy shit yes... I'm pretty sure we're twins... We both snowboard and are on Newschoolers.. And we both thought our BuzzLight Years could fly. Dat shit cray
Feb 24 2013 9:08PM
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FreeskiThe603
Posts: 861 - Karma: 1,409
i was riding one of those fake four wheeler things, i believe it was called a power wheels. me, thinking i was going fast, rode it straight of a rock wall that was probably a couple feet tall. instead of going flying off and landing on all four wheels like i thought i would my front two tires went straight into the ground and i did a face plant over the handle bars
Feb 24 2013 9:13PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
when my brother was a baby he went down a hot metal slide in a park with a diaper full of shit and it broke open and smeared baby poo all down the slide
Feb 24 2013 9:31PM
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shitpoop
Posts: 667 - Karma: 1,479
I walked into a airport and puked on the guard...forgot that dime of a story
Feb 24 2013 10:55PM
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t.dough
Posts: 413 - Karma: 1,090
I used to bite other little kids heads from the time I could crawl until 3 or 4. i guess I'd get really excited and start shaking, and then I'd get up and do that toddler-walk/waddle with my hands out and my mouth wide open, approaching my oblivious victim from behind before clasping their head in my hands and chomping down.
Feb 24 2013 11:10PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
i finished pooping when i was little and my mom said "did you wash your hands?" and i said i didn't and she asked me why and i replied "because i didn't wipe"
Feb 24 2013 11:15PM
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encludemeout
Posts: 285 - Karma: 10
I set up a wall of Legos to run through, thinking I was some sort of ferocious animal. Blast through that shit, then ended up running straight into my window.

Sixteen stitches later..
Feb 24 2013 11:33PM
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LAO
Posts: 175 - Karma: 142
I pooped behind my toy box when i was 4 and my parents didn't find it for 3 days, they thought the smell was coming from a new fish tank we got. fishy
Feb 24 2013 11:38PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
When I was 2 I started eating out of a bucket of tar my dad was using to tar our driveway.

I went tobogganing at 4 or 5, unintentionally hit a large jump, didn't hold the toboggan and landed straight on my ass.

Feb 25 2013 12:47AM
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DANETRON
Posts: 6671 - Karma: 137
When i was 2 my mom and i were almost a serial killers next victim. They arrested him inside a grocery store and found a bunch of pictures hed taken of me and my mom and of other women.with their kids hed abducted and eventually killed Guess he was gonna kill her and do who the fuck knows what with me. Funny story right?
Feb 25 2013 8:01AM
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theschneidler
Posts: 2099 - Karma: 355
nice
Feb 25 2013 8:39AM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
Shit
Feb 25 2013 12:07PM
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11988 - Karma: 12,261
when I was 4 I was so excited to go out and play in the snow that I jumped through the screen door. My mom had me all bundled up in my snow suit so I wasn't hurt or anything.
Feb 25 2013 12:17PM
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DANETRON
Posts: 6671 - Karma: 137
Yeah dude was stalking us for quite some time. It made local and national news but this was in 1991 so i cant find anything on it. I remember being in the store and seeing the guy get tackled by a whole lot of cops
Feb 25 2013 12:57PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
probably not the funniest but all i can think of now (other than the one about my brother i posted above)

but when i was three i managed to pull the christmas tree down on myself by trying to make jumps for my lego cars and pulling the carpet too much. i cried a lot. my mom laughed at me
Feb 25 2013 1:10PM
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Kreech
Posts: 4178 - Karma: 3,024
When I was 3 or so, I used to be afraid of taking shits because I thought it would hurt. So I would wait sometimes 2 or 3 weeks between shits then when I ended up taking them they WOULD hurt. One time my I was taking a bath and while my dad was running the water, I was just standing in the tub and this MASSIVE poop just slid involuntarily out of my asshole. This log was about the size of a goddamn thermos and without thinking my dad just picked it up and tossed it across the room into the toilet. One of my prouder moments.
After that happened, my mom told me she'd buy me an action figure if I would just start taking shits regularly, and I've been shitting daily ever since.
Feb 25 2013 1:23PM
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ILLinoisance
Posts: 3527 - Karma: 5,398
i brought the garden hose into the kitchen. fun stuff.
Feb 25 2013 1:31PM
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,896
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This is a Pigmy Hippo. Cute little fucker, but don't let the looks deceive you. They are evil.

I was about 2ish, we were living near D.C. and my parents took me to the zoo. We go up to the pigmy hippo pool. My dad puts me up on his shoulders so I can get a look over the plexiglass, but all I can see is green water. Then 2 eyes appear, and then 2 nostrils. Suddenly, there is a violent explosion as the pigmy hippo sneezed. I ended up completely covered in hippo snot and toxic green hippo pool water. It left me emotionally scarred for life.
Feb 25 2013 1:36PM
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TotalNan
Posts: 147 - Karma: 339
I was in a sporting goods store with my dad when I was like four. I decided it would be a good idea to poop straight on the floor. My dad just scooped me up and we bolted out of there. I
Feb 25 2013 1:42PM
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stizzle
Posts: 371 - Karma: 623
I was watching Sesame Street and thought if I ran fast enough into the TV I would magically get into Elmo's world. All i got was 3 stitches. 2 weeks later I was playing bull and rammed the corner of the couch with my head and split open my forehead again. My mom just butterflied it because she was afraid that the people at the hospital would think she was beating me because of how stupid the circumstances were.
Feb 25 2013 2:08PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51630 - Karma: 162,079
Was gonna say this thread blows after the start but after this post I'll play.


My dad walked into the bathroom to find me maybe 2 ish? completely white, all he could see was my eyes and my sister holding a thing of baby powder.

Like that scene from the sandlot kind of.


Maybe not the funniest thing but your post reminded me of that(Not that I remember it happening)
Feb 25 2013 2:37PM
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EC-Skier
Posts: 3899 - Karma: 668
When I was 3 I was jumping on the couch next to the coffee table, and then my dad told me to stop jumping and to get down. As a three year old I took it as "Nick, jump really high off the couch". So I did. I ended up hitting my head on the coffee table on the way down and required 16 stitches. It was funny because when my parents asked why I jumped off like that I responded with "Dad said get down, I did". It was also funny because since the hospital was a solid 45 mins away by the time I got there it no longer hurt and I was confused as to why I needed to be there.

Also when I was three my family and I went to Grand Cayman Island and stayed at this cool little house with a pool. I was walking outside, barefoot, and stepped in a big fire ant nest. They immediately started crawling all over me and biting me. I yelled for about 2 second when my dad then picked me up and threw me a good 5 feet (which seemed big when I was 3) and into the pool.

Also when I was three I was sick during my birthday and had a terrible time and was mad. Wasn't funny to me, but my parents got some funny pictures of me mad at my birthday hahaha.

Being three was an interesting time for me ahhaha.
Feb 25 2013 2:59PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51630 - Karma: 162,079
so it seems

so it seems
Feb 25 2013 3:02PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
!!!!!!!
Feb 25 2013 5:27PM
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JWoods
Posts: 2369 - Karma: 2,635
When I was seven I fell out of my brother's treehouse and ended up getting my overalls stuck on a nail, it saved me from falling like 7 feet out of the treehouse to dome
Feb 25 2013 5:35PM
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alpacarider
Posts: 290 - Karma: 42
not real sure on the exact age but when i was a wee lad i was wearing only underwear when i decided to cover myself in white hand soap before proceeding to run downstairs yelling to my mom that i was the white power ranger...
Feb 25 2013 10:15PM
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northeast
Posts: 2119 - Karma: 254
in the latter part of my tooth-losing stage, one night a tooth fell out and my dad handed me a Jackson and said "the tooth fairy isn't real, here's 20 bucks."

also the time uncle Ralph taught me how to play hide the quarter... he doesn't come around anymore
Feb 25 2013 10:42PM
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Wheaty214
Posts: 1687 - Karma: 841
I was at a hotel because my cousin was getting married the next day, I was probably 8. We were swimming in the pool and I went under water and saw who I thought was my uncle, I swam over and tried to pants him. Then surfaced and was surprised as hell to see that it was some random ass guy playing with his kid. I awkwardly said sorry and got out of the pool.
Feb 25 2013 10:48PM
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stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
When i was like 1 or 2 i couldnt walk yet, so my mode of transportation was this combination of crawling and scooting across the floor on my butt. I'll try and find the video of it in the stack of baby dvds i have
Feb 25 2013 10:55PM
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LiquorLanch
Posts: 1909 - Karma: 1,046
Back in the olden days, when I was just a wee lad I believed that I could pull off teaching my stuffed Elmo how to swim. I achieved this sticking the poor old bastard and flushing until his head became stuck in the bottom of the cistern.

I also flooded the bathroom once.
Feb 25 2013 11:16PM
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dragonhorse
Posts: 101 - Karma: 228
when i was 4 i hid behind the couch and cut off most of my hair because i wanted to look like my great grandpa..
Feb 25 2013 11:30PM
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RimJobber
Posts: 3313 - Karma: 10,058
Even better. I used to pretend I was Buzz Lightyear and would jump off of things. It ended when I jumped off of a couch and landed on an end table with my face
Feb 25 2013 11:40PM
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pl.
Posts: 105 - Karma: 227
when i was about 3 or 4 i was leaving walmart with my family and apparently i took someones mcdonalds drink that was sitting outside next to the exit and started drinking it
Feb 25 2013 11:56PM
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gravel
Posts: 5518 - Karma: 42,202
my frisbee coach boiled her pet turtles alive when she was a kid.
Feb 25 2013 11:59PM
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SkiinTrigga
Posts: 212 - Karma: 89
I pulled the fire alarm and made to whole school evacuate. Class sucked that day, and I missed the next day of school to go tour the local fire station. Stoked I did that. Miss class, and school, and got a free tour of a fire station.








/claim
Feb 26 2013 12:02AM
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JamieOBalls.
Posts: 66 - Karma: 61
Frisbee coach?
Feb 26 2013 12:05AM
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